Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/47721
Wednesday, November 16, 2011 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Reluctant Romeo rues recalcitrance Dear Annie: My girl- friend, ''Sophie,'' and I broke up three months ago after a five-year relation- ship because of my inabili- ty to commit. While we were together, I was brutal- ly honest about how I felt, even though I hated how unhappy she was listening to me. girl a favor and let her find someone she knows won't walk out when he feels over- whelmed. She deserves cer- tainty and stability. Dear Annie: Recently, Sophie and I have taken multiple short breaks in the past. I saw her last month and apologized. I told her I had made the mistake of my life by letting her go. Apparently, I needed substantial time to realize what was important to me. Unfortunately, Sophie told me she no longer sees a future for us and asked me to stop calling. She said she'd contact me when she was ready to be friends. I want to give her the time she has asked for, but I'm afraid if I wait too long, I will lose her forev- er. I now realize I desperately want to spend the rest of my life with her. But I have inflicted so much dam- age. If I ignore Sophie's request to give her time, it might only make matters worse. I would do anything to get her back. Should I go after her or wait for her to come to me? — M in Hawaii Dear M: Are you going to pro- pose? If so, go after her. If not, leave her alone. Your feelings are no longer trustworthy to Sophie. Unless you are ready for a lifetime commitment, ring in hand, do the Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar two of my cousins were in town. They come here fre- quently to visit their hus- bands' families. I'm the only cousin who still lives in our hometown, but they have never once called to say hello or plan a get-together. All I want is a ''Hi, how are you?'' It only takes a few min- utes to make a telephone call, and if I'm not at home, my answering machine will get the message. I am family, too, and whenever I am in their area on business or vacation, I always make the time to visit. I also call frequently. Is it too much to ask that they do the same? Would plans for a family reunion be out of the question? — In Need of Family Contact Dear Contact: Of course your cousins should call, but they may not realize how much you would appreciate it, even if they can't arrange to see you. So tell them. Say you'd love it if they picked up the phone when they are in your area, just to say hello. And while you're at it, ask if they'd be interest- ed in a family reunion. We think they will. Dear Annie: I sympathize with ''Maine Husband,'' who is the care- giver for his wife with multiple People all around the country are preparing to kick the habit as part of the American Cancer Society's 36th annual Great American Smokeout on Thursday, Nov. 17. This event began as a fundraiser in 1971. A Massachu- setts man asked his friends and neighbors to do without cig- arettes for one day and donate the money to a high school scholarship fund. Three years later, a newspaper editor in Minnesota helped stage a statewide "D Day" or "Don't Smoke Day." The idea spread to California, was taken up by the American Cancer Society, and has been celebrated nationwide ever since. This year, Tehama County residents will have extra help to quit tobacco forever. The California Smokers' Helpline — 1-800-NO BUTTS — is offering two months of free nicotine replacement therapy to Tehama County smokers who call the free helpline. This offer should last through December. To date, 84 county residents have received this free help. Other ways you can prepare for your new life as a non- smoker: • Remove all cigarette-related materials such as ashtrays, lighters, matches, cigarettes and cigarette butts, etc. from your office, car and your home. This will help you avoid temptation. • Practice the four Ds: • DEEP breaths. • DO something else to get your mind off the craving. Call a friend, go for a walk, or chew on a carrot stick. • DRINK lots of water throughout the day, especially during a craving. • DELAY reaching for a cigarette – the urge will pass. • Change your routine. If you usually light up with a cup of coffee, switch to tea or juice. If you smoke while you watch the evening news, read a newspaper instead. • Recognize that urges are the worst within the first two weeks. After that, your chances of smoking again will most likely occur in situations associated with smoking such as after dinner or during car rides. While it may be difficult to avoid all of these situations, try to avoid as many of them as you can. • Tell your friends and co-workers that you've just quit and ask for their support. • Call the toll-free Helpline 1-800-NO-BUTTS (1-800- 662-8887). Most smokers try several methods before they succeed in quitting, so don't give up. Keep trying until you find what works for you. Call Tehama County Health Services Agency, Public Health Division at 527-6824 or 1-800-655-6854 or stop by a local pharmacy to get a free quit kit. sclerosis. I'm sure his wife is extremely grateful to have him in her life. My husband has had to take over more and more of the house- hold chores because of my disabili- ties, and I am so honored to have him. He makes my life a joy. When we are invited out and I don't feel well enough to go, I make sure I have everything I'll need for the few hours my husband will be gone. Then he can go and relax. I can always call him if I have a prob- lem, but he feels better for getting out of the house, and I feel better knowing I am not taking up all of his time. ''Maine'' has to speak up for himself. Maybe if he asked the rela- tives to watch his wife for a few hours, they would understand his position. If they sat in a wheelchair all day, they might see how hard it is to rely on someone else to do all the simple things they take for granted. There is a special place in heav- en for people like my husband. — C. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Great American Smokeout Thursday Bone density test is used to diagnose osteoporosis DEAR DOC- TOR K: I just turned 65. At my last medical visit, my doctor said she'd like me to get a bone density test. What is it, and what's involved? thin bones. DEAR READ- ER: A bone densi- ty test uses spe- cialized X-rays to mea- sure the thickness and strength of your bones. It is also called bone densit- ometry or a DXA scan. Why measure the thickness of your bones? Adults, particularly women, begin to lose bone thickness around age 50. Thinner bones put you at greater risk for fracture. Besides being painful at the time, fractures (partic- ularly hip fractures) can affect your ability to do the things you want to do. When bones are some- what thin, the condition is called osteopenia. When bones become very thin, the condition is called osteoporosis. Bone densi- ty tests can measure whether you have osteopenia or osteoporo- sis. If you're already being treated for osteoporosis, repeated bone density tests can measure the effectiveness of your treatment. Many authorities rec- ommend routine bone density tests in women aged 65 or older. Early detection is important because exercise and vari- ous treatments can help prevent and even reverse bone loss. So what's involved? During the test, you'll lie on a table. A radiologist or X-ray technician will move a scanner above your spine, hip or wrist. The test measures your bone thickness in these three different parts of the body. Unfortunately, frac- tures of the spine, hip and wrist are all much more common in people with Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. The test takes 10 to 20 minutes. The test itself is painless, but you may experience some discomfort because you have to lie still on a hard surface. The test does- n't have any sig- nificant risks. You'll be exposed to about one-tenth the amount of radiation as in a single chest X-ray. You'll get the results within a few days. The diagnosis of osteopenia or osteoporosis is based on your so-called T-score. If you have a T-score that is between minus 1.0 and minus 2.5, you have osteopenia. If it is below minus 2.5, you have osteoporosis. In general, the lower your bone density, the higher your risk of break- ing a bone. Fortunately, treatment options exist. Several different types of medicines protect your bones from getting thin- ner. Some even help build back up bone that you have lost. Such medicines are relatively new. When I was in medical school, we didn't have a way of measuring bone density. And we didn't have med- icines proven to prevent or reverse thin bones. If your test results indi- cate that your bones are thinning, talk with your doctor about what you can do to reduce your risk of fracture. We have a lot more information on osteoporosis in our Spe- cial Health Report called "Osteoporosis: A Guide to Prevention and Treat- ment." You can find out more about it at my web- site. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. 'Ask George' expert answers to common DMV questions By GEORGE VALVERDE California DMV director Do you have questions about general driving related requirements like registration and insur- ance? Are you unclear about laws and restric- tions related to driving? The California Depart- ment of Motor Vehicles has answers. "Save Time by Going Online," at www.DMV.ca.gov. Q: I live in Nevada and frequently travel by car to California on busi- ness. Do the new text messaging and cell phone laws apply to me as well? A: These laws apply to anyone driving in Cali- fornia, even if the driver is just visiting. In order to prevent cell phone related collisions both laws pro- hibit drivers from using electronic wireless com- munication devices to write, send or read text- based messages; motorists are required to use a hands-free device when talking on their cell phone while driving. The base fine for the first offense is $20 and $50 for subsequent convictions. However, with the addi- tion of penalty assess- ments, the total amount can be more than triple the base fine. To learn about these laws in greater detail, visit www.DMV.ca.gov/cellu- larphonelaws/index.htm. Q: I am applying to become a commercial truck driver. What docu- ments do I need to bring with me to the DMV? A: Good question. The following link con- tains all the required documents, forms and prerequisites toward obtaining a commercial driver license: http://dmv.ca.gov/com- mercial/commercial.htm . However, remember to save an extra trip to the DMV and make sure to bring your valid Social Security Card, because this is one of the most commonly forgotten items on application day. Q: My daughter is 16 and just received her dri- ver license last week. She wants to drive her best friend, who is also 16, to school. Is it ok if she receives a letter of approval from her friend's C & C PROPERTIES 741 Main Street, Suite #2 Red Bluff, CA 96080 1-800-287-2187 (530) 527-2187 An Independently owned and operated Member of Coldwell Banker Residential Affiliates. 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A: No. Even with the permission of a parent, your daughter may not drive with anyone under the age of 20 unless a licensed driver over 25 is in the vehicle. She also may not drive between the hours of 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. without a licensed driver over 25. These restrictions are in place for the first 12 months your daughter is licensed. The DMV website has a section dedicated to new drivers and their parents with more details on new driver restrictions. To view the page, visit www.DMV.ca.gov and under the Home tab, click Teens. I encourage you to visit the page to learn about the provisions your daughter will have to fol- low over the next year. The DMV is a depart- ment under the Business, Transportation and Housing Agency, which is under the direction of Acting Undersecretary Traci Stevens. The DMV licenses drivers, main- tains driving records, registers and tracks offi- cial ownership of vehi- cles and vessels, investi- gates auto and identity- related fraud, and licens- es car dealers, driving schools, and traffic vio- lator schools. For more information about the DMV, visit www.DMV.ca.gov.