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Thursday, October 6, 2011 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Diffident dowager drawing denunciation Dear Annie: My moth- er-in-law, ''Joan,'' lives nearby. Since the birth of our son three years ago, she has not once offered to babysit or have him sleep over. She never asks to spend time alone with him. When I've suggested it, she tells me how tired she is, and yet she runs around with her friends all day. On those rare occasions when we absolutely are desperate for her to babysit, we prac- tically have to beg, and it's only for things like doctors appointments. She would never babysit so my hus- band and I could go out for an evening. However, Joan wants to go Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar everywhere with us. She thinks that qualifies as spending time with her grandson. She also says she wants to be there for his first vacation, first movie, first day at school, etc., which makes us feel as if our son can't achieve any milestones with- out her. I have dropped hints that my hus- band and I could use a night alone, and I've mentioned how other grandparents enjoy having their grandchildren over, but she never responds. I know she is comfortable around children because she used to be a preschool administrator. In addition, if we all go out together and our son acts out, Joan just sits there. Apparently, Joan wants to be there for the fun, but not the other stuff. My mother and my friends think Joan's attitude is strange. They say grandparents normally take the kids out to give the par- ents a break. I am sick of asking her to watch our son when we are in a bind. Am I being selfish, or is she not being much of a grandma? — Beleaguered Mom Dear Mom: Both. You may not like it, but grand- parents are not obligated to take care of your children because you want a night out. And after being a preschool administrator, we suspect Joan has had enough of watching little kids and correcting their behavior. That is the parents' job. Of course, it would be nice if Joan took a greater interest in spending time with your son, and she may be more inclined when he is a little older, requires less super- vision and they can communicate better. But if you want a good rela- tionship with her, please take babysitting services off the table. Dear Annie: I am amazed at how you continue to cater to cheat- ing husbands. Every time a woman writes that she suspects her partner is cheating, you always take the guy's side and suggest counseling, even when the woman says he won't go. These slimeballs exist, and yet you defend them. Please explain to the wives out there why you contin- ue to take the man's side. — Voice of Many Betrayed Wives Dear Voice: You misunderstand. We are not defending the cheating spouse, male or female. We are defending the marriage. One should not walk away without making an attempt to see if the problems can be fixed, particularly if there are young children involved. And if the husband refuses counseling, the wife should go anyway because she will need help making decisions about her future and working through her anger and resentment — something, apparently, you have not yet done. Please consider it. Dear Annie: One of the things you suggested to ''Lonesome'' was to join the Peace Corps as a senior volunteer. As a returned Peace Corps volunteer, occasional recruiter and full-time advocate, I like to see Peace Corps service sug- gested. But people should be aware that it's not like going on a cruise. Those who serve should expect about a year of application and preparation, three months of train- ing and two years of service. There is no upper age limit, and there cer- tainly are rewards. — Glad To Have Been There and Done That Dear Glad: Thanks for making it clear to our readers that the Peace Corps requires a true commitment. Those who are interested can get more information through peacecorps.gov. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Lassen plans burn piles throughout park Lassen Volcanic National Park plans to hand ignite burn piles starting the week of Oct. 3 continuing through Oct. 17. These piles have been constructed in association with haz- ardous fuels reduction projects throughout the park. Weather forecasts for the majority of the pile locations are calling for snow later in the week which will provide favorable conditions for the pile burns. Snow is predicted at elevations of 6,000 feet and higher. The Summit Lake campground piles are located at approxi- mately 6,700 feet and are expected to receive snowfall over the next several days. "Now is the opportune time for our fire fighters to ignite the burn piles in this developed area while there is a lull between busy summer visitation and the closure of the park road due to succes- sive winter storms." said Superintendent Darlene M. Koontz. Numerous piles have been constructed in and The North State's premier supplier of stoves STOVE JUNCTION The Over 25 years of experience NOW OPEN! Sales • Service • Installation *Wood Stoves * Pellet Stoves * Gas Stoves Tues-Sat 9am-5pm Closed Sunday & Monday 22825 Antelope Blvd., Red Bluff www.thestovejunction.com 530-528-2221 Fax 530-528-2229 COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check starting at $ (most cars and pick-ups) 2595 + cert. Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. Counseling Center Giving Families Hope! Did you think we were just for children? • Individual & Family Counseling • Couple/Relationship Issues • Anger • Depression • Anxiety • Emotional Trauma • Family Relationships • Parenting Call our office for more info. 529-9454 Red Bluff 590 Antelope Blvd. Suite B-30 Corning Counseling Center 275 Solano Street #2 wildland fires. Fire crews hope to access the road to Warn- er Valley and Drakesbad and burn piles in that area also. Courtesy photo Firefighters started burning piles Monday in Lassen Volcanic National Park. The work continues through Oct. 17. around the Summit Lake campground during the 2010 fire season, which have cured over the last 1 1.2 years and are now receptive to successful burning operations. Fire crews stack the finer fuels in the center of these teepee like structures so that they will burn from the inside- out toward the larger fuels until they are completely con- sumed. Extensive fuels thin- ning projects around the Summit Lake camp- ground will help protect the area against future unwanted high intensity There are a few mis- cellaneous piles scat- tered along the north boundary of the park near Crags Campground at approximately 6,000 feet which also are ready to burn if weather conditions permit. "During all of these operations the safety of the public and our fire fighters is our number one priority," Koontz said. For more informa- tion, please contact the Park at (530) 595-4480 or for TDD at (530)595- 3480, Monday through Friday, except holidays, from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Lump in throat due to reflux, allergies DEAR DOC- TOR K: I often get the feeling that there's a lump in my throat. Sometimes in the morning I'll cough up mucus, but it doesn't make the feeling go away. What can I do to get rid of this feeling? DEAR READ- ER: Some use the expression "a lump in my throat" to describe experi- encing a strong emotion such as grief or gratitude. But, as you've discovered, this feeling can be an annoy- ing and recurrent problem that has nothing to do with how you're feeling at the moment. Your problem is one of those minor maladies that we know only a little about, because medical research tends to focus on major dis- eases rather than the symp- toms that constantly bug us, like this one. swollen lips any time she ate a mango. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Finally, there is an unusual condi- tion in which a pouch forms in the wall of the back of the throat, where food can collect. This condition is easily diagnosed and treated, usually by an ear, nose and throat specialist. Because you say you sometimes cough up mucus, I'd say the most likely explanation is that you have allergies that are causing the extra mucus. While you sleep, that mucus collects in the back of your throat. That's why you tend to spit it up in the mornings. The treatment is allergy pills and inhalers. Another common cause is acid reflux from your stomach into your throat. This can irritate your throat and create the feeling of a lump. A bitter taste in your mouth can be a clue that you may have reflux. An allergy to a medica- tion can cause irritation and swelling in the throat. Switching to another medi- cine can help. A food aller- gy is another possibility. I had a patient who got a lump in her throat and If a patient came to me with a complaint like yours, my red-flag question would be whether this feeling is accompanied by difficulty swallowing. And if so, has this gotten progressively worse? One possible cause of feeling like there's a lump in your throat is actually having a lump in your throat. So if trouble swal- lowing is one of your symp- toms, and especially if it's getting worse, see your doc- tor to make sure you don't have a growth in your throat. Doctors check for this rare possibility by using a laryngoscope, a flexible tube with a light and mirror at the end of it. You are given a local anesthetic, and then the scope is passed into the back of the throat. The doctor can see the part of your throat that's otherwise out of sight, in your neck. That's the part from the back of your mouth down where your Adam's apple is. It's a very simple test, and it almost always confirms that the "lump in the throat" is not caused by an actual harmful lump. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Mental Health Board The Tehama County Mental Health Board will meet at noon Wednesday, Oct. 12, at the Health Services Agency Shasta Room at 1860 Walnut St. in Red Bluff. For more information, call 527-8491, Ext. 3018. Square dance class A new square dance class, Swinging Squares, will be offered 7-9 p.m. Thursdays starting on Oct. 27 at Red Bluff Community Center, 1500 S. Jackson St. Dress is casual and families are encouraged to attend including children 10 and older. First three lessons are free. For more information, call Roger at 605-6068 or Mike at 736-1592. Recycle The Warmth Yes, I can help! Who do you know that needs a coat? Yourself? Children? Grandchildren? Mother or Father? Neighbor? Homeless? Friend? Co-worker? Elderly? C ome to: Bethel Church, 625 Luther Rd., Saturday, Nov. 12th 8:00am to 12 noon Help us get the word out. Every year the Daily News associates have sponsored a warm clothing/soup kitchen giveaway. It is our way of saying " we care about others". Clothing, blankets and food will be available for all. Please help us pass the word to families and individuals that would benefit from this event. If you would like to donate, bring your gently used: • BLANKETS • COATS • HATS • SCARVES • WINTER CLOTHING, to the Daily News, 545 Diamond Ave. We will be accepting items until Nov.11th. This event is open to any family or individual in need of winter clothing. THANK YOU Senia Owensby Getting the word out about Recycle The Warmth. Setting up night before giveaway, Nov. 11th. Roving help during giveaway. Tearing down afterward, boxing up, cleaning up. Transporting leftover items back to Daily News. We Also Need: Clothes racks of any size Trash/Leaf - sized bags Your own unique skill or talent Name Phone # E-mail Senia Owensby Daily News, 545 Diamond Ave. Call 527-2151, (DailyNews), 526-2173, (cell), or e-mail production@redbluffdailynews.com wowensby@gmail.com Pl The greatest needs each year are for X-Lar sincerely appreciate everyone' g e warm clothes. We sizes and Children' s participation. s ease r e t u r n t h i s f o r m t o