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Saturday, August 13, 2011 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Tete-a-tetes trigger timorous tootsie’s trepidation Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I met three years ago. He was separat- ed from his wife of 20 years after he found out she was cheating on him. Their divorce was final six months later. ‘‘Lawrence’’ is a lot older. I am 28, and he is 50. His ex has caused noth- Annie’s ing but problems for us, so naturally, I don’t much care for her. This past year, how- ever, Lawrence has been going over to her house under the pretense of seeing his grandchil- dren. There are also a lot of phone calls and text messages between the two of them. I don’t like this one bit, but Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar to see them without going to her home. Instead, he made it clear that his need to see her takes precedence over his relationship with you. If you give him an ultimatum, you will lose him — but at this point, that may be the better choice. Dear Annie: Recently, my mother, an intelligent older woman, fell victim to a contracting scam. The con- tractor noticed she needed some work done on her Lawrence has made it clear that if I can’t deal with her, our relationship is over. I love him very much, but why is it OK for him to hang out with his ex-wife, but if I so much as talk to a male friend, he becomes angry? How do I compete with a 20-year relationship? He insists they are just friends, and he only goes to her place when the grand- children are there. But I have a gut feeling that he is not telling me everything. So, my question is, do I simply deal with this, or do I put my foot down and give him an ultimatum? — Stressed About the Ex Dear Stressed: We think Lawrence is still interested in his ex-wife. If this were solely about the grandchildren, he could arrange house and showed up on her doorstep offering to do a free appraisal. He seemed professional and probably somewhat charming, so she let him give her an estimate. He showed her a license to convince her that he was reputable, gave her a written contract, which convenient- ly did not include a timeframe for completion, and collected the bulk of the money in advance. After she paid him, there were immediate problems. The contrac- tor and his workers showed up for half a day for the first week, where- upon he told her she needed addi- tional work and took another check from her. They’ve now been miss- ing for two weeks and have made no attempt to contact her. I contacted the county and was told that he does not have a legiti- mate business license. The paper he showed her was forged. It is imper- ative for anyone who has been scammed to contact the attorney general in their state to file a com- plaint. The more complaints, the more likely it is that the matter will be pursued. It’s also important to contact your local homebuilders association for information on how to avoid being the victim of a scam. And always check out any contrac- tor before you hire them, no matter how professional or charming they appear to be. — Hoping To Stop the Crook in Montgomery, Ala. Dear Hoping: Thanks for the warning. We’ll add one more: Do not pay the bulk of the money in advance. A reasonable down pay- ment should be enough. Dear Annie: Please tell ‘‘Not Dutiful Much Longer,’’ and others who struggle to deal with an elderly relative who behaves in a nasty manner, that a simple antidepres- sant can make a big difference. It can make the relative feel better, and life can be more pleasant for her and for people around her. — A Psychologist Who Knows Dear Psychologist: It is true that an antidepressant or antianxiety medication can be tremendously beneficial for some people, but unfortunately, not all of them are willing to try. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Making the cut After much hard diet- ing, I made the 115 pound weight cut for the North Carolina fight. I lived on protein shakes for almost 2 months — in an nearly constant state of hunger. I was shredded, and most people thought I looked great. I thought I looked horrible. I could see my sternum and my ribs and my cheeks were sunken in. My would-be opponent came in 6.6 pounds over. She was unable to cut any more weight and ended up in the hospital for the abuse she put herself through to get down to 121.6. She looked bad at the weigh-ins, all sucked up and hunched over. She cried. Her coach looked disappointed in her. I heard she got sus- pended for a year. I gave her a hug and told her 'no worries — fight at a heav- ier weight next time. That, my friends, is why I always make very effort to come in at weight — at least 1 week ahead of time. On the plus side, I got paid — and pretty well for all my trouble. Rocky Golden, my ground coach, and I enjoyed watching all the awesome fights on the card. There were 4 female fights on that card- which is unheard of. They were all amazing. The promot- ers will be having me back to fight in October. I look forward to having them see me fight then. When I got home, John Orsua (of Team Orsua in Orland) let me know that he was putting on an ama- teur mma fight card in September and needed some fighters. Around 5 of my gung-ho guys stepped up, all wanting to fight. My husband started looking around for spon- sors for these guys (as the fee to fight is $150, and there are physicals and blood work that has to be done for each fighter). Five dwindled down to 1 for sure. That's how it goes. Everyone wants to be a fighter, but not everyone wants to put in the time or commitment. Rocky, so far, is the only one fight- ing on that card. He's been training like a beast, and I can't wait to see him in action. So, if you are inter- ested in putting your hat in the ring, hit me up. I'll put you in touch with John. As for my next fight, my husband was on face- book the other night and saw a post from another fighter (who I fought on the same card as in Indi- ana). She was looking for an opponent. He hit her up. She wanted to fight me. We both talked to the promoters, and now we are scheduled to fight today in Durango, Col- orado. We origi- nally agreed to fight at 115, but after some thought about that hard cut, I asked her if she'd agree to 120. She did — gladly. I love an amicable fight. And I love being able to eat real food even more. myself, my Tara Ingram of Cutting Edge Landscapes, Les Schwab Tires of Red Bluff and Pam Disibio. Many thanks. Avery In order to get some help to offset the costs for Rocky and husband was able to go out into the community and get us some much needed sponsorships. We were also able to have a yard sale that helped us get rid of a lot of stuff and get money for Manual's ticket to my Colorado fight. I would like to thank the following people and businesses for their gener- ous support; Charles and Vilche Fitness Buff Also, I'd like to thank Juan who owns First Love Tattoos for hooking me up with a sweet Yupik (Eskimo) tattoo. Anyone out there who loves the sport and wants to be able to say they spon- sor a fighter (pro or ammy, your choice) please let me know. I need to put out one more thank you- thanks, Bill Han- del, for the awe- some job creating the website and video for our gym. Please check out his fine handiwork at www.psychofitnessmma.c om. Avery Vilche is a professional MMA fighter and fitness instructor who owns Psycho Fitness & MMA located at 1450 Schwab St in Red Bluff. You can reach her at 200- 0526 or by e-mail at vilcheavery@yahoo.com. Shasta Foundation announces grant deadlines The Shasta Regional Community Foundation announces new funding cycles for Tehama Coun- ty Grants and all pro- grams of The McConnell Fund at the Community Foundation. Tehama County grants support programs and organizations in Tehama County for building and equipment related pro- jects. Funding will be considered in two cate- gories: projects under $10,000 and projects from $10,001 to $50,000. All grant requests must be postmarked by or received at the Communi- ty Foundation’s Redding office (1335 Arboretum Drive, Suite B, Redding, CA 96003) by 5:00 pm on Sept. 7. Funding guidelines for each program can be found at www.shastarcf.org. For more information contact Beth Freeman with Shasta Regional Community Foundation at 244-1219. Fibromyalgia diagnosed over Huntington’s DEAR DR. GOTT: I have been told I have fibromyalgia. From the informa- tion I have found, it seems like this is a diagnosis when it isn’t known what is wrong. When I wake in the morning, I feel like I have been in an auto accident. I hurt from top to bottom. After I get moving, it gets a lit- tle better, but the muscles mostly in my legs, arms and hands hurt all the time. I have lots of headaches and sadness, and I just feel tired. I was put on Lyrica, and after about two weeks I did have a few better days, but now not so many. My dad and two of his sisters had Huntington’s disease. Not a lot is known about Huntington’s, and most doctors have never heard of it. I am 53. My father passed away at the age of 50, and both his sis- ters passed away in their late 60s to early 70s. My doctor, whom I have always trusted, said from what she knows that Huntington’s cannot be passed from the father, only the mother, so any information you can help me with would be great. DEAR READER: Huntington’s is an inherit- ed neurodegenerative dis- order caused by a genetic defect on chromosome No. 4 that causes specific nerve cells in the brain to deteriorate. This defect causes a portion of DNA, called a CAG repeat, to occur more frequently than it normally should. The number of CAG repeats may determine the severity of the disorder. With lower numbers, mild abnormal movements may occur later in life and slow the progression of the dis- ease, while those with larger numbers may suffer more severe complica- tions. As the gene passes from one generation to the next, that number enlarges. The larger the number of repeats, the greater your chances are of developing symptoms at a younger age. To the best of my knowledge, it can be passed on by either parent. There are two forms of Huntington’s: adult onset, which reveals symptoms when a person is in his or her mid-30s and 40s; or an early-onset form that is less common and can begin in childhood. If one of your parents has or did have Hunting- ton’s, you have a 50 per- cent chance of acquiring the gene for the disease. You can also pass it on to your children. Without the gene, you cannot pass it on. Dr. Peter Gott Common symptoms that may precede any problems with movement include irritability, para- noia and halluci- nations. Unsteady gait, grimacing of facial muscles, uncontrolled movements, diffi- culty swallowing and speech impairment may follow. Diagnosis should begin with a complete examina- tion. A visual exam may reveal abnormal reflexes, dementia or difficulties with speech. An EEG might be ordered if a per- son has had one or more seizures. A PET scan of the brain can reveal struc- tural changes in specific areas of the brain affected by Huntington’s; however, those changes are not always clear early on in the disease. Genetic test- ing may be performed for confirmation — particu- larly if your father and aunts didn’t undergo that procedure. The course of Hunting- ton’s cannot be altered, but specific medications can reduce symptoms related to movement and any psychiatric disorders. Medications to suppress involuntary jerking motions, muscle rigidity and anxiety are available, as are antidepressants and mood-stabilizing drugs for bipolar conditions. Then there are speech, physical and occupational therapies, and support groups to help a person cope. After all this, I am not sure your symptoms are indicative of Hunting- ton’s. Your muscle pain, headaches, sadness and fatigue might lead me to agree with your physician, and I would investigate arthritis, fibromyalgia and perhaps some neurologi- cal disorders. Fibromyalgia is poorly understood, but can be identified by a patient as widespread pain of mus- cles and ligaments, with tingling, numbness, exhaustion, fatigue, joint stiffness, sleep distur- bances, headaches and depression among a whole host of symptoms. The condition can be difficult to diagnose and treat, but once accomplished, there is a great deal that can be done to control the pain and stress involved. My recommendation would be to have genetic testing performed to con- firm or rule out Hunting- ton’s. Then, if you haven’t had recent blood work, speak with your physician to rule out various types of arthritis or vitamin defi- ciencies. Do this investi- gation so you can put your mind at ease and get on with your life. Free Haircuts for Kids Live Music Kids games Free Food provided by: Cornerstone Community Bank and Iglesia Nueva Vida Kids receive free professional photographs provided by: “We Shoot Ya Photography” Informational booths