Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/333341
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»About a year ago I developed a crush on a female friend, whose boyfriend I also know independently of her. I suspect the attraction was mutual but we never acted on it. However, I am pretty sure the boyfriend noticed, because I am pretty sure he hates me. Seething hatred. He tries to hide it and behave cordially to- ward me, but the tension is obvious. I've tried reaching out to him to hang out, but it always feels forced and I can tell he doesn't want to be there. Any suggestions for defusing this tension? —Hated DEAR HATED » Remorse defuses best. I thought I picked some up in my first reading of your letter, but upon rereading I'm not so sure. If you do feel bad about your actions, and not just their consequences, then you've done most of your part. You can make any warranted apologies, but beyond that there's no easy fix; everything else depends on his letting go of the grudge. Since a year (plus his girlfriend's ap- parent, sustained loyalty) hasn't softened him, wait- ing him out doesn't seem promising. I get that it's hard to accept a new normal of someone hating your guts. We all deploy a certain amount of denial about our acceptability to the rest of the world, just to get through the day in peace, right? And such open hatred reduces that shield to smoking embers. If you can't get used to being the bad guy, then there's this: bow out. Or, less drastically, shift your social center of gravity away from these two. You tried, innocently or oth- erwise, to usurp a man's beloved. Exile is usually the next plot point in that story even when you suc- ceed, so his being civil-ish is a gift. Just remember this when you crush on the lady-friend of your sibling, neighbor, boss; the price of encroachment is high. DEAR CAROLYN » I'm flying with a baby and, three weeks out, am already losing sleep. Any mantra I can use to help me choose her needs instead of others'? If it helps, I have a hard time in general with crowds and feeling like I'm being evaluated by others. — B. DEAR B. » You are being judged, so dress her in her cutest comfortable thing, and take heart that you aren't imagining things. Kidding, sorta. Yes, people boost their own egos by scrutinizing oth- ers, new parents espe- cially, since they're the slowest antelopes in the herd, but here's your man- tra: Who cares. Your only duty to strangers is to care for your child as best you can. Since that's what you owe your baby anyway, the strangers are moot points. When it's all behind you, please consider talk- ing to a good therapist about your, it seems, overactive people-pleasing impulse. Good counsel might help set you free. Man suffers the consequences of interfering in relationship Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Gemini(May21-June20)— With your energetic and playful way of dealing with people, you will have no trouble attracting new friendships. Put your ideas into motion to gain support. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — A hardheaded attitude will stir up trouble. If you are unwilling to make concessions, you will risk getting into a conflict with a colleague, friend or lover. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Your charm will attract atten- tion. Take your place in the spotlight and enjoy it. Your enthusiasm will lead to an offer. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Your personal life is due for an interesting change. Greater cash flow is apparent, and it will come from an unexpected source. Take action. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Some experiences are bound to be painful. Don't obsess about your problems. You don't need to blame yourself or feel guilty for a negative event that devel- ops. Look for and accentuate the positive. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Major career changes lie ahead. Take command of your future by staying informed and in touch with the people and tools that you need to advance. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You have been dawdling long enough. Let today be the starting point for all of the al- terations and improvements you have been considering. It's up to you to take the initiative. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — For every step forward, you will take two steps back. You can save yourself some aggra- vation if you put major decisions on hold while you reassess your plans for the future. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You can lighten your load if you ask for help. Friends and colleagues will gladly come to your aid if they know you are struggling. Put your pride aside. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — The downside of having a vivid imagination is that ideas may take the place of action. You know what you want out of life, so go out and get it. It's time to follow through. Aries (March 21-April 19) — You don't have to be a profes- sional to enjoy a sporting challenge. Find an amateur activity that interests you, and test your skills. Physical fitness will improve your mindset. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — You may stand out for all the wrong reasons. Play by the rules. Be extra careful when dealing with authority figures or government agencies, or discussing legal matters. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, JUNE 20 FRIDAY, JUNE 20, 2014 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 5 B