Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/327270
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman GETFUZZY DarbyConley ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARCAROLYN»I'mec- static to be newly engaged after three happy years of dating. We're planning to move in together at the end of the year. Recently, while talk- ing moving logistics, he confessed that he's not looking forward to having to "check in" with someone every day. I responded that I don't need daily check-ins — instead, why not reserve them for when we actually have agreed-upon plans? He said OK, but that he still feels nervous about losing other aspects of his autonomy in marriage. This conversation escalated until eventually I asked him why he wants to get married at all, if he's so scared to share his daily life with me. He answered that he knows "it's what comes next," meaning that it's the natural next step in our relationship. Now I feel like I've unwittingly forced him into marriage. My excitement over get- ting married is deflated. What now? —Anonymous DEAR ANONYMOUS »Let him know, kindly, that "It's what comes next" is no reason to get married, and that, while you love him and were excited to be engaged, you're not going to marry unless and until you're with someone who wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Explain that you're not doing this out of anger and will give him time to sort out his feelings. Then do it. He could go either way with this — either feeling relief to be released from what felt like an obligation, or feeling like the idiot who allowed an adolescent- style freakout to sink a good thing. About those "check- ins": When you want to be with someone, and to share your days with someone, they are a moot point. Most of the time you already know where the other person will be, and vice-versa. When some- thing comes up, sure, you have a choice: Take into account the feelings of the person who thinks you're somewhere else/coming home soon/going to be at the restaurant by 7, or don't. And if it's such a burden to care how some- one feels and not leave them to worry, then why not just stay unattached? DEAR CAROLYN » Re: "Check-ins": I have been married for almost 20 years and I honestly am not even sure what these people are talking about. If husband is doing some- thing other than coming home from work, he lets me know as a courtesy, right? Often, with kids' schedules to juggle, we have lots of conversations about who is driving whom where and all of that — this isn't "checking in," this is life. Am I missing something? — Anonymous 2 DEAR ANONYMOUS 2 » No, you've got it. Intimacy runs on mutual trust, of course: to be both willing to share everything, and not required to. So, the prospect of joining lives with someone who insists on tracking your every move ought to scare you. Fiance's lack of enthusiasm puts damper on engagement Carolyn Hax Ask Carolyn Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Gemini(May21-June20) — It's time to start living a healthier lifestyle. Let others discover how talented and resil- ient you are. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You can gain a valuable per- spective if you surround yourself with young people. Keep your plans flexible so you can be ready for any challenge. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — A family dispute will weigh heavily on your mind. Get together with the person causing the problem and go over the issues rationally. Your relationship will improve. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — A friendship will escalate into a prosperous partnership. Gather as many allies as you can and formulate a plan that has the potential to yield success. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Even a small amount of your time can make a difference to someone in need. Volunteer your time and effort, but don't forget that charity begins at home. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Your high energy will work in your favor today. Use your awe- some creativity to move forward on the many projects you face. Don't stop until you reach your destination. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Legal, governmental or official matters should be dealt with swiftly. Be clear about your responsibilities, and complete documents or applications thoroughly. Sticking to rules will help you avoid setbacks. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — The project you have in mind will end up being more difficult than you imagined. Don't be deterred, but make sure that you can call in some assistance if needed. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Erratic behavior or unpredict- able displays of emotion will damage your reputation at work. Keep a cool head on your shoul- ders and perform your tasks diligently and quietly. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You are due for a dramatic change regarding how or where you live. A number of possibili- ties are waiting to be discov- ered. Take a trip to an intriguing destination. Aries (March 21-April 19) — You are full of energy, and nothing will hamper your abili- ties. The more ventures you take on, the more satisfaction you will receive as the day unfolds. A financial gain is apparent. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — You'll be feeling overworked and underappreciated. Consider taking a break. Getting together with a close friend will help you relax and forget your worries. Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol TUESDAY, JUNE 10 TUESDAY,JUNE10,2014 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 5 B