Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/279565
MARCH 19-25, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Save the Wails Are guys scared of politically active women? My boyfriend of two months just broke up with me over my support for animal rights, and I've generally had difficulty keeping boyfriends because of this. This boyfriend was bothered by two incidents. In the first, I got into an argument about zoos with one of his friends at a party. Another time, we were driving alongside a car with a pro-hunting bumper sticker, and I rolled down my window and shouted something to the driver. I'm trying to do good -- protect creatures without a voice. Does that mean I don't deserve a boyfriend? --Yes, I Stand For Something Men tend to like it when a woman screams passionately, but it's less sexy if what she's screaming is "McDonald's is murder!" But, wait —you're trying to do some good; don't you "deserve" a boyfriend? You, like the rest of us, deserve not to be run over by a truck. The Declaration of Independence also spells out that "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" stuff we're all supposed to get. That's right; you have a right to chase happiness. It doesn't get delivered to your door. And the reality is, every requirement you have for a boyfriend and every, well, nonstandard practice you have narrows your options. The size of a person's dating pool is determined by their level of hotitude factored with how hard they are to be around. And just a guess, but for at least some of these guys who dumped you, maybe the problem wasn't so much your support of animal rights as it was your lack of boundaries in expressing it. Even a guy who's with you in principle on sticking up for Bambi and the lab rats might not be comfortable with your transforming every social gathering into an animal rights protest rally. In other words, you can refuse to ever bend your principles, or you can have a man in your life. This isn't to say you have to start wearing snow leopard legwarmers and eating baby seal McNuggets; you probably just need to divide the world into political and social forums. When you start dating somebody new, ask him what his comfort zone is regarding your activism, and either respect the boundaries he needs or be honest if you can't or won't. If you come to see a relationship as a party of two, each of whose needs matter, there's a good chance you'll find a guy who'll at least be there to bail you out of jail. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19). To a forest animal, a snapping twig could mean your cub has come home, your next meal is close by or you're in imminent danger. Be alert to the snapping twigs today and ready to respond in kind. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). If you're not a monarch, CEO or traffic cop, you probably won't be able to command people to do what you want today. But if you are crafty and clever, you'll be able to engineer a desired response. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). The cosmic gift offered to you today is objectivity. You will feel like a story writing itself, and you will enjoy the plot and affect it. You are both the audience and the main character. CANCER (June 22-July 22). Success will require half-skill and half-confidence. You don't need to worry about the confidence part. As you work on your skills, your confidence will grow quite naturally. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). You didn't set out to discover how you are perceived by others, and that is part of what makes today's information from the "peanut gallery" so interesting and delightful. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Has ennui set in? Your outer world will blossom after you gently shake your inner world awake. Get back to reading more. The magic that happens in your mind as you read is real and powerful. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You'll be in mixed company: those who really want the truth and will apply it to a successful end, and those whose egos are too fragile for this. It will therefore be unwise to be too direct and honest in today's discourse. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You may not be able to use a tool you regularly employ to do your daily work. This may leave you feeling like a coyote without a sense of smell, but ultimately it will broaden your horizons, forcing you to explore your other gifts. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Caution: You'll be tempted to rate and rank the work and appearance of colleagues, competitors and random people in magazines, but that will only lead to jealousy, envy and self-limiting thoughts. Instead, focus on you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). The one who cares too much about what others think will always feel and be victim to the constraints of convention.That's not you. Try the thing you've been thinking about. It won't go right the first time, so try it several times. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You seldom think about striking a beautiful pose or executing a charming gesture, generally preferring to do what comes naturally. However, today's caper may require a stretch in this regard, and you will likely enjoy that, too. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). You are multifaceted and usually can tell right away which part of your personality is best matched to the situation at hand. However, today's situation is different. Observe awhile before you decide how to react. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The Drug Users Resource Center in Vancouver, British Columbia (heralded previously in News of the Weird for a vending machine dispensing 25-cent crack-cocaine pipes to discourage addicts from committing crimes to fund their habit), launched a program in August to supply alcoholics with beer-brewing and wine-making ingredients to discourage them from drinking rubbing alcohol, hand- sanitizer and mouthwash. The DURC "co- op" sells, for $10 monthly, brewing mix in a pre-hopped beer kit, but eventually, an official said, co-op members will brew from scratch, including boiling, mashing and milling. A civic leader told Canada's National Post that the program has already begun to reduce crime in areas frequented by alcoholics. [National Post, 2-19-2014 Rape-prevention activists estimate that local governments have backlogs of untested evidentiary "rape kits" that total up to 400,000 nationally -- signifying free crimes for rapists, lost justice for victims, and ruined reputations for men wrongly arrested. (As TV police dramas emphasize, many rape victims are reluctant to submit to the indignity of swabbing and photographing so soon after being violated and comply only because detectives assure them of the rape kit's importance.) Memphis, Tenn., has an inventory of 12,000, and the state of Texas at least 16,000 -- dating back to the 1980s. However, the cost of testing (about $500 each) is daunting for many city budgets, according to a February report by the Rape Kit Action Project in New York. [CBS News, 2-23-2014] More Texas Justice: After 37 years in prison, Jerry Hartfield goes to court in April for a retrial of his 1977 conviction (and death sentence) for murder in Bay City, Texas. Actually, the 1977 conviction was overturned, but before Hartfield could demand his release (he is described in court documents as illiterate with an IQ of 51), the then-governor commuted the sentence to life in prison in 1983. It was only in 2006 that a fellow inmate persuaded Hartfield that the commutation was illusory -- since there was, at that point, no "sentence" to commute. Hartfield's lawyers call Texas' treatment a blatant violation of his constitutional right to a "speedy" trial, but prosecutors suggest that it is Hartfield's own fault that he has remained in prison the last 30 years. [Associated Press via Seattle Post- Intelligencer, 2-14-2014. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard By Holiday Mathis IN THE MORNING Weekdays 5:30AM to 10:00AM