Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/247876
6B Daily News – Friday, January 24, 2014 Widow is urged by her son to get back in the dating scene DEAR CAROLYN » My husband committed suicide a year ago and it's been absolutely horrifying, not only for me but for my 8-year-old son as well. Recently, I have been trying to date and mingle due to my son's worry I will be alone. I'm 30 and feel as though I'm doing something wrong. When I took my vows, I meant them, Carolyn so I feel like Hax I'm cheatAsk Carolyn ing or being unfaithful to my husband. Please help. — Pennsylvania DEAR PENNSYLVANIA » Those vows, presumably, were "till death do us part," so they don't impose guilt, they absolve you of it. But also free yourself of any pressure to date. I realize you want to ease your son's mind now. I fear you could unwittingly hurt him later, though, by reinforcing his idea that alone = bad or dating = pain relief. It's OK to be alone while you're healing; it's OK not to be interested in dating, yet or ever; it's OK to be open to having a partner — but also open to being single unless and until you meet a worthy one. It's OK to find companionship through friends, family, colleagues, the regulars at the coffee shop, pets — as in, however it's available — instead of in one specific form over which no one has full control. And it's OK to address your son's worries with a gentle, firm, loving and consistent adherence to this message. It's a message of inner strength and stability for two people no doubt still staggered by a devastating external blow. In fact, in looking for security or happiness in a romantic bond, just for the sake of having one, you subtly reinforce the idea that those things are available only through someone else. Please model for him an adult who is whole. DEAR CAROLYN » My fiance cheated on me. I was heartbroken and broke things off. I had few people nearby to lean on due to unrelated circumstances, like friends moving away. While it was incredibly lonely — trying to make new friends while sad is really hard — I just tried to get through it. Five months after we split, he dated one of my friends, writing to say that since he'd "been dishonest in the past, he now wanted to be a better communicator" (while breaking my heart all over again). I broke off all contact with both parties. This was awful, and I did the right thing, right? I'm still reeling. — Sad in Chicago DEAR SAD » Dating a friend's cheating ex-fiance just months after he torpedoed the engagement seems awful to me, yes. As does cheating on one's fiancee, counting to 10 and then dating her friend. You're in pain; these two people are an ongoing source of this pain; and you have no obligations to them beyond your (former) fondness of them. You're fully entitled to leave them to each other. Reel, and heal, in peace. Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/ carolyn.hax or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com. BABY BLUES Jerry Scott & Rick Kirkman ZITS Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman Brian Crane PICKLES Darby Conley GET FUZZY Sudoku Instructions: The object is to place the numbers 1 to 9 in the empty squares so that each row, each column and each 3x3 box contains the number only once. SHERMAN'S LAGOON Jim Toomey Answer to Previous Puzzle PEARLS BEFORE SWINE Stephan Pastis Celebrity Cipher By Luis Campos Instructions: Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another. Scott Adams DILBERT BIZARRO Horoscope By Bernice Bede Osol FRIDAY, JAN. 24 Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You may not feel like working, but doing so will keep you out of trouble on a personal level, and you will manage to make progress professionally as well. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — It's a good idea to be as active as possible today. Meet up with informed and like-minded people. Travel will lead to a creative opportunity. Aries (March 21-April 19) — You will likely have to face an older relative's difficulties. It's an opportune time to check out real estate or other long-term investments. Financial opportunities are likely to manifest. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — A partnership can improve your life, but don't let your fears or your stubbornness get in the Dan Piraro ARGYLE SWEATER way. Love should be your focus. If you are coy or distracted, your partner will not be pleased. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Find an opportunity to get closer to a colleague or superior. You can gain ground if you form alliances, but be careful whom you choose. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — This is a great day for love and romance. Do something thoughtful for your special someone. You can also meet potential partners through a trip or by attending events. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Don't take any personal or professional chances today. Changes are inevitable, so prepare to accept them and move on with grace. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Your pragmatic but tactful approach will help you get along with everyone, and that will make it easy to ask for assistance. Finding solutions to prac- Scott Hilburn tical concerns will be simple. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Life can change in an instant, and sometimes all you can do is just try your best. Professional and financial gains are likely, so if you have a chance to apply for a better position, seize it. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — You will be emotional, and self-control will be an issue. Less talk and more positive action are what is needed. You will meet someone appealing. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You may find yourself stressed by a deadline if you are trying to complete paperwork before the weekend officially begins. Be persistent, and the concerned parties will comply. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Your confident approach to finding solutions will be irresistible today. You can form alliances and persuade others to support your plans. NEA Crossword