Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/15381
8A – Daily News – Thursday, August 26, 2010 FEATURES Familial fling festers in forsaken Dear Annie: I have three sisters, but the one who was my best friend in the whole world was ‘‘Michele.’’ Nine years ago, I found Michele and my husband of 19 years in bed together. They both said, ‘‘It’s not what you think,’’ but really, Annie, they were both naked in the bed. There was no mistaking what they were doing. I lost both my sister and my husband in one day, and I haven’t spoken to either of them since. My ex-hus- band moved out of state, but I can- not look at Michele without feeling betrayed. For nine years, my mother has been after me to forgive and forget. Am I wrong for still holding a grudge? Michele sees my daughters and tells them she misses me, and my kids are friendly with her chil- dren. They say she gets drunk and cries all the time. But I simply can- not be around her. She is dead to me. Should I forgive and forget? — Hurt and Confused Dear Hurt: Has Michele apolo- gized to you for her terrible behav- ior? Do you miss having her in your life? Michele sounds remorseful, but without a direct apology, the rift cannot heal. And if she has an alco- hol problem, it could partially explain her self-destructive behav- ior, although it’s no excuse. Hanging onto bitterness and anger hurts you, as well as Michele. Please examine Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar your feelings and decide if you’d like a repaired rela- tionship. If so, working on forgiveness can be worth- while. (Forgetting is proba- bly unrealistic.) We recom- mend having a neutral third party, such as a clergyperson or counselor, act as a media- tor if you decide to try. Dear Annie: After 13 years with the man I love, we found we are pregnant. We are ecstatic! My preg- nancy is high risk, and my doctor has ordered me not to lift anything over five pounds. He also is limiting exercise. I’m now five months along. The problem is, I am getting rude com- ments about my weight from friends, family and co-workers. Last week, a lady at church com- mented on how I need to be careful because I’m getting ‘‘way too big.’’ My mother-in-law said she’s con- cerned I’m eating too much. Annie, I’m watching my diet closely because I cannot exercise. I have gained 16 pounds, all belly weight, and my doctor says it’s fine. My doctor also said the reason I look large is partially due to the fact that I am very short. Please remind your readers that it’s never OK to comment on a woman’s weight, especially when she’s pregnant. — Not Fat Dear Not: We marvel at the audacity of people who think they are entitled to voice their opinion about anyone’s size, particularly that of a pregnant woman. The polite response is, ‘‘Thank you for your opinion. I’m happy to give you my doctor’s phone number if you want to discuss it with him.’’ Dear Annie: You printed a letter from ‘‘Washington,’’ whose boyfriend has two sisters who are overweight and have odor problems. When people become obese, they discover they can no longer reach certain body parts. For many, this is the cause of bad odor. Com- panies sell appliances that extend one’s reach. Your reader might want to make a gift of these arm exten- sions to her boyfriend’s sisters. She could also offer to help them with their bathing. When a person is obese, it is refreshing to be able to get clean, and it can be nearly impossible to clean yourself. Hope this helps. — Been Heavy in Florida Dear Florida: We cannot imag- ine anyone giving her boyfriend’s sisters such a gift, nor offering to help with their bathing. It could be quite offensive to them. But we appreciate your letting our readers know that such items are available. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Lifelong learning institute to hold registration Community members aged 60-plus or retired, and spouses of any age, are invited to sign up for classes at the California State University, Chico Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) Fall Wel- come and Class Sign-ups Meeting. The meeting will be 10 to 11:30 a.m. on Tuesday, Aug. 31, at the Masonic Family Center, 1110 West East Ave., Chico. The Fall Welcome and Class Sign-ups Meeting will offer an opportunity to meet OLLI officers and members. Class lead- ers will be available for questions about their classes and to sign up par- ticipants. An annual registration fee of $65 allows mem- bers to take as many classes as they want for the full academic year. It also covers a newsletter and general meetings with interesting speakers. Classes begin on Tues- day, Sept.7 and end on Friday, Dec. 17. Most classes meet weekly, but some are shorter in dura- tion. More information, including a full schedule of classes, is available at the OLLI website: http://rce.csuchico.edu/os her. For more information contact the OLLI office at 898-6679 or e-mail olli@csuchico.edu. Exemplary lifestyle doesn’t prevent enlarged spleen DEAR DR. GOTT: My friend who lives in another state indi- cated her mother was diagnosed with an enlarged spleen. This is a woman in her 80s, still tall and slen- der, never smoked or drank alcohol, doesn’t consume caffeine and doesn’t take drugs of any kind. Her diet is exemplary with no white sugar, bread, flour, starchy foods, red meats or lun- cheon meats. She has always eaten a lot of fruits and vegetables, buying organic whenever possi- ble. Lately, she has com- plained about being very tired, she fell a couple of times, and now she has a constant fear of falling. How could someone who took such good care of what she put into her body end up with an enlarged spleen? What purpose does it serve, anyway? DEAR READER: The spleen is an organ located in the upper portion of the abdomen. It is purple in color, about 4 to 5 inches long and weighs about 6 ounces in healthy people. Because it is protected by the rib cage, it generally cannot be felt unless it enlarges. The spleen acts as a filter for blood, destroying old and dam- aged blood cells. It fights bacteria such as meningi- tis and pneumonia by producing white blood cells known as lympho- cytes. It stores iron from old cells, returning the iron to our bone marrow, where hemoglobin is made. Oddly enough, with all the important things this organ does, we can live without it if nec- essary. An enlarged spleen, known as splenomegaly, can occur because of infection, parasites, liver disease, lymphoma, leukemia and a number of other conditions. When the condition occurs, this relatively small organ can weigh up to 4 pounds and becomes palpable on examination. Symptoms can include frequent infections, fatigue, anemia and pain in the left upper abdomen that radiates to the left shoulder. Diagnosis, other than through palpation, can be Dr. Peter Gott made by ultra- sound, CT scan or MRI and will often provide a physician infor- mation such as how large it is and whether it is crowding other organs in its prox- imity. Treatment is directed toward determining the underly- ing cause for the enlarge- ment and may be as sim- ple as antibiotics to cure infection or chemotherapy and radiation if Hodgkin’s or another more complex disorder is discovered. Sadly, an enlarged spleen can occur despite doing all the right things. A healthful diet, plenty of exercise and abstaining from smoking, drinking and drugs has likely kept her well all these years. Now, however, she should be under the care of a physician, who can get to the bottom of the issue and get her back on the road to recovery. She should also address her fear of falling. It might be that she has been so well for so many years that she now perceives the falls to be the beginning of a mas- sive decline in her general health. Her physician can order appropriate testing to rule out any concerns he might have in this regard or, if appropriate, she might speak with a therapist in an attempt to regain her independence if no medical basis is dis- covered. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Medical Special- ists.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my web- site at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com Food, wine and entertainment at 5th annual agritourism event CHICO – The bounty of Butte County specialty farms and wineries are the focus of the fifth annual Sierra Oro Farm Trail Passport Weekend, a self-guided tour that includes exclu- sive wine tasting at eight wineries and farm-fresh food sampling at 16 farms throughout Columbus Day weekend, October 9 and 10, 2010. "Passport Weekend is unique because this is the only time all of the farms and wineries on the map will open their doors on the same week- end," said Heather Quilici, who co- founded the map with Jamie Johansson of Lodestar Farms. "Additionally, everyone will have something special taking place at their farm. It’s a great opportunity to meet your local farmers and winemakers and maybe even dis- cover something new for your kitchen." From 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, Passport-holders can trav- el the scenic agricultural trails of Butte County, sampling delectable fare including artisan olive oil, grass-fed meats, farmstead cheese, specialty nuts, award-winning wines and more. New stops in 2010 include LLano Seco Rancho, an 18,000-acre, family- owned ranch since 1861 and producer of Llano Seco Certified Organic Pork; and Butte College Environmental Hor- ticulture Nursery, the retail and whole- sale nursery training grounds for stu- dents, with a variety of plants available for sale. Passport-holders can view all participating farms and wineries and even pre-plan their route by visiting sierraoro.org. To bookend this year’s Chico Expe- rience Week, more than half of the members of the Trail will also give the public a glimpse into their regular operations Oct. 16 and 17. A full list of farms participating in the Bonus Pass- port Weekend can be found in the 2010 passport. Passports are $20 per person ($25 the day of the event) and include a free wine glass, free tasting at all stops on the map, and, while supplies last and only available with online orders, a limited-edition Passport Weekend ChicoBag to make shopping on the trail a breeze. All proceeds benefit the Sierra Oro Farm Trail Association to further develop agritourism in Butte County. Passport sales begin online (www.sierraoro.org) in late August, and will also be available at all farms on the Trail; at the Chico, Paradise and Oroville Chambers of Commerce; and Butte County Tri Counties Bank loca- tions. Sierra Oro Farm Trail’s Passport Weekend is sponsored by the Butte County Farm Bureau, Chico Chamber of Commerce and Tri Counties Bank. For more information, visit www.sier- raoro.org , email info@sierraoro.org or call the Chico Chamber of Commerce at 530-891-5556.