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Wednesday, August 25, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Daughter discounts dismissed dwelling Dear Annie: My 81- year-old mother passed away several months ago. One of her final wishes was that my older sister and I get along. Sis inherited Mom’s house, but she lives five hours away and didn’t want it, so I purchased the house from the estate. I have a sentimental attachment to it, since my father built the place and that’s where we grew up. I go there on my days off to do maintenance and upkeep. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar My sister is welcome to stay there any time. She was there for Memorial Day and July 4th, and e- mailed that she plans to visit for Labor Day. I told her she is wel- come, but the house costs me near- ly $400 a month in utilities, taxes, etc., and she should chip in some- thing. She replied that Mom would not want her to pay to stay at the family home. She refuses to give me anything for expenses. It isn’t the money. It’s the princi- ple. I think $15 a day is fair. If I happen to be at the house at the same time, I’m willing to split the cost in half. So, Annie, what do you say? — Sam in Pittsburgh Dear Sam: This is the equiva- lent of your vacation home. Gener- ally, when one invites a relative to stay, one doesn’t charge them for the hospitality. However, if Sis is using the family home as a vacation destination, meaning she invites herself and goes when you are not there, it is similar to a hotel and she should pay accord- ingly. Her visits undoubted- ly raise the water and elec- tric bills, so it costs you money. We think $15 a day is a terrific deal for her, and she should not complain. Dear Annie: My sister and her fiance have been planning their wedding for two years. One of their few requests is that the men in the wedding party wear tuxedos. Our father is the only one refusing to do so, although cost is not an issue. He also has made it clear he isn’t inter- ested in participating in a father-of- the-bride dance, and we’re not even sure he’ll walk her down the aisle. My sister and my father have always had a wonderful relation- ship, and he approved of the wed- ding until he realized they were getting married ‘‘so soon.’’ His behavior is embarrassing for our entire family. I don’t think it’s ask- ing too much for him to wear a tux on such an important occasion. Should we just let him be his usual ‘‘easier not to’’ self and wear a suit? — Tuxless in Bettendorf, La. Dear Tuxless: We’ll grant that Dad sounds like a spoiled brat, but forcing him to behave like an adult will only create ill-will on the big day. He may have some unresolved issues that make him reluctant to participate in his daughter’s wed- ding, so you may as well leave him alone. We hope your sister will ask a male relative or her new father-in- law to step in for a father-daughter dance and any other such charming obligations that her father cannot be bothered with. Dear Annie: ‘‘Cautious Canadi- an’’ was worried that ‘‘Nick,’’ a sex offender, had keys to all the apart- ments in her building. Society doesn’t deal well with sex offend- ers. It’s difficult to find a balance between protecting others and allowing ex-offenders to live nor- mal lives after they have served their time. Because so many re- offend, it’s hard to feel generous toward anyone who is in that cate- gory. I don’t think Nick should lose his job as the informal super, but he should not have keys to the apart- ments. Having such access will tempt him to re-offend. Also, if word gets out that Nick is on pro- bation, he might be blamed for real or imagined thefts or damages for which he isn’t responsible. I am, however, annoyed that ‘‘Canadi- an’s’’ husband wasn’t more protec- tive. He’s either naive or is disre- garding her fears, possibly leaving her in danger. — Cambridge, Mass. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Local pilots recognized for service On Saturday, Aug. 14, the area program manager for the Federal Aviation Safety Team Gary Jestice was on hand for the 48th consecutive Aviation Safety Seminar conducted at Hangar 1A, Benton air- port. The lead volunteer safety volunteer, William Hill, arranges and hosts the Safety Seminar on the second Saturday each month. Jestice was on hand to present the following awards: Recognition of individuals for their unique and steadfast sup- port of the Safety Seminar Series to include tables, chairs, PA system, laptop computers, use of the hangar, publicity, video screen, set up and take down of the classroom, preparing, serving and clean up of lunch offer- ings and other sundry items for 48 consecutive months. James Barry, Eric Mar- shall and Miles Drawhorn all received walnut plaques with the appropri- ate FAA citations and logos. They are the opera- Mentally ill daughter keeps parents at bay DEAR DR. GOTT: We have a 33-year -old daughter who is mentally ill. She has currently gone off her meds and is hospitalized in a psychiatric ward. She will likely be transported to a state facility. She has refused to sign the paper allowing us to converse with her doctors and caregivers, although we are the only people she has. It is not our desire to control her, but it is our wish to be sure that she is safe and to let those who are caring for her know there is someone out there who still loves her. How can we work with this sys- tem that allows her to be her own guardian when she is incapable of even caring for herself? Dr. Peter Gott refined carbohy- drates. I am in excellent health. My problem is that during annual physicals, my blood tests come back distorted, usually indicating I am slightly ane- mic. I have no out- ward symptoms of any illness. I tell my doc- tors that I am a vegan, but each year they search for some other cause. In non- Western countries where animal protein is not a large part of the diet, do doctors have different standards for blood-test results? Would I then be normal in those countries? DEAR READER: Courtesy photo Pictured, from left, are Jim Bremer, president EAA Chapter 157; William Hill, FAA Safety Team lead volunteer and Western Pacific Region rep of the year; James Barry, operator of the Tres Amigos Flying Club/Hangar 1A, Gary Jestice, FAA program manager; Herb Zuidema, awarded certificate; and Miles Drawhorn, perator of the Tres Amigos Flying Club/Hangar 1A. Not pictured is Eric Marshall. tors of Hangar 1A and they generously donate the use of their facility each month. Herb Zuidema received a frameable cita- tion for his generous monthly leg and grunt work for preparing the classroom, the takedown of the classroom and pub- licity efforts through the chapter newsletter. Experimental Aviation Association Chapter 157 received a walnut plaque to recognize the contribu- tions and efforts of the EAA chapter in providing 48 months of consecutive support. Hill received a plaque for selection as the Feder- al Aviation Administra- tion’s Western Pacific region FAA Safety Team Representative of the year for 2010. The region con- sists of Arizona, Califor- nia, Hawaii and Nevada. Writers Forum meeting set Sept 11 The Writers Forum September Meeting will be 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. on Saturday, Sept. 11, in the Memorial Hall of All Saints Epis- copal Church, 2150 Benton Drive, Redding. The church is located at the corner of Benton Drive and Quartz Hill Road. Your Book in Print: Editing, Design and Publishing. Redding editors and book designers Nancy and Biff Barnes of Sto- ries To Tell will explore a step-by step process to complete and publish a book, focusing on: • Overcoming com- mon obstacles to com- plete your manuscript. • The quality of sto- ries: creating an inter- esting read *RAIDERS TICKETS FOR SALE* Red Bluff Jr. Spartans Football Fundraiser End Zone Tickets 3rd level $ 1st & 2nd 40.00 level $ , 45 Tickets must be ordered 30 days in advance. Contact Jenn Moniz with Red Bluff Jr. Spartans: (530) 524-0110 or jennrbyf@yahoo.com P.O. Box 8027, Red Bluff, CA 96080 • The benefits and challenges of illustrated books • The three roles of an editor • Book design costs and options • Traditional publish- ing and self-publishing options Nancy and Biff Barnes have advanced training through the National Writing Pro- ject at UC Berkeley. They reside in Red- ding, and their online business, Stories To Tell, helps writers across the country to create and publish mem- oirs and family history books. nonprofit organization founded in 1983, is ded- icated to promoting writing as an art and as Mon.-Fri. 10:30 to 5:30 Sat. 11-3 40 Crafters in 1 Shop! 650 Main St., Red Bluff 530 528-2723 Boutique Come & Shop Crafter’s Or Rent a Space to Sell Your Crafts Gifts for family & friends Plenty of parking on Pine Street a profession and to sup- porting and inspiring writers from all over far northern California. The public is always welcome to attend. Admission is free. Donations are requested only at the refreshment table. For more information or directions call 547- 5303 or visit www.writ- ers-forum.net. DEAR READER: This is a serious dilemma. Your daughter is an adult at 33. I don’t know how serious her condition is and how much outside assistance, if any, she requires. Is she able to care for herself as long as she remains on her medication? Or is the situ- ation much worse than that? If she is certified as mentally ill, I am surprised she doesn’t have a family member, attorney, trusted friend or state designee as power of attorney who can make necessary decisions. If she is in a psychiatric ward, why is the staff allowing her to refuse her medication? Is her condi- tion so mild that she does not need it? But if this is the case, why then is she hospitalized? With your inability to speak with her doctors, I’m sure that you don’t have answers to these questions. And it’s likely that, if she has someone in charge, she has made it abundantly clear that you are not to be involved in any way. You might speak with your attorney or patient advocate to deter- mine if you have any rights at all, but my guess is that you don’t. DEAR DR. GOTT: For health reasons, I have cho- sen to be a vegan. I eat no animal matter and watch closely not to take in many Frankly, I am unsure if you were tested in another coun- try whether your lab work would reveal anemia or not. Numerous studies have shown that poor meal plan- ning is the cause of nutri- tional deficiency, not the absence of animal foods. Do you feel tired, run- down and lacking in ener- gy? From the sound of your letter, I would guess not. You are likely healthi- er than a great number of us. If you feel your diet may be lacking in any way, consider a good daily multivitamin. Beyond that, stay on course and you’ll likely outlive us all. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Vitamins & Min- erals.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0157. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my web- site at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Oh Snap! The Daily News wants your photos: Cute kids, Adorable pets, Inspirational sights, Any shot you think readers would enjoy You might just see it in the Daily News Send pictures to editor@redbluffdailynews.com or drop off at 545 Diamond Ave. in Red Bluff. Include a caption. 645 Main St., Red Bluff • 529-2482 Monday Morning, 8am-noon Wednesday Evenings, 5-9pm Join us for neighborhood Writers Forum, a Bring your jars & ingredients. a jar CANNING & PRESERVING www.californiakitchencompany.com $1 We’ll help you and provide equipment.