Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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Getting to Know You by PITT DICKEY Can a double seater outhouse bring world peace? The answer is resoundingly, yes! Our family has a reunion of various cousins in odd numbered years. This year we met in Quebec to renew old ties, relive old embarrassing experiences, refurbish old grudges and drink new wine-in-a-box. On the way to Quebec, I discovered the ultimate means to achieve world peace and harmony. We were on a road less traveled as we drove through New England. Blind luck and a brown highway sign brought us to Robert Frost's farm in New Hampshire. We paid our money and took the tour of Mr. Frost's house. Our excellent guide was a large friendly fellow with a master's in fine arts degree in poetry. If you have ever wondered what people with master's degrees in poetry do, now you know. They are tour guides in the homes of great poets. Our guide referred to Mr. Frost as "Rob," so I will too, having now toured his farm house. Rob lived in this particular The Robert Frost Farm. house in his early years as a poet. It was a simple place without electricity or running water with a barn connected to the house. The most fascinating thing about the house was the double privy in the alcove between the barn and the house. On occasion, I have pondered the theory behind double-seater outhouses as opposed to the single seat variety. Double seaters are more efficient, allowing twice the number of participants to compete as a single seater. My grandmother's old house had a double seater which first piqued my interest in why folks would want to share this usually solitary endeavor. But I digress. There we were, standing in the very room where Robert Frost used to sit. Perhaps that was the very spot that Rob had been sitting and thinking when he was inspired to write "Stopping by Woods On a Snowy Evening" and " The Death of the Hired Man." I was humbled. The double seater had been Rob's muse and now I was in its very presence. Winters in New Hampshire get a bit chilly. Rob probably did not tarry long or get much inspiration on the double seater in February. Most of his poetical inspiration must have come during the summer when he could sit and think great thoughts. With whom did Rob share his privy? His wife, his multiple children, the post man? Our store is packed with name brand deals! Skip the mall & the high prices! New items arriving daily. What better way to get to know someone on a personal level than sharing a privy with them? Once you have shared quality time in an outhouse with someone, they have got to be your friend for life. The value of sharing the Privy Time Space Continuum struck me like a bolt from the blue. World peace was possible. If Obama and Putin would share some double seater privy time with each other, all of their mutual hostility would melt away like the April New Hampshire snows. Eric Snowden would be on the next plane to America after the Privy Summit. Putin's name even sounds like he is asking for a Privy Summit. Sitting together they could pass their differences. If a double seater privy can end the Cold War, think of what else it can do to bring together crabby individuals. Put Rand Paul and Chris Christie together on Rob's privy and watch them sing "Kumbaya" after the experience. A double seater session for Mitch McConnell and Harry Reid would open up the passage of bills through Congress. Michael Moore and Sarah Palin together at Rob's place would end their differences. Get P.J. Hairston and the sports editor of The News & Observer together for a privy session and the N&O's scandal mongering about UNC athletics would pass into history. Rodney King's existential question, "Can't we all just get along?" would finally be answered in the affirmative once we bring together former antagonists at Rob's double seater. The lion will lie down with the lamb chops in the common humanity of the double seater. How can you dislike someone with whom you have shared such an intimate moment? Let us recall the lyrics from The King and I in which Anna sang, "Getting to know you/Getting to know all about you/Getting to like you/Getting to hope you like me/Haven't you noticed/Suddenly I'm bright and breezy/Because of all the beautiful and new/Things I'm learning about you" What better way to get to know someone than spending quality time with PITT DICKEY, Contributing them on Rob's double seater? Peace is Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@ at hand. upandcomingweekly.com. 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