Red Bluff Daily News

June 19, 2013

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Wednesday, June 19, 2013 – Daily News 3B FEATURES Pot-head hubby refuses to grow up unless you want to spend the Dear Annie: My sweet, next several years mothering kind 33-year-old collegethis grownup child. It's a educated husband has painful lesson to learn that regressed into a teenager. love isn't always enough to He has always been a mariturn someone into marriage juana user, but a year ago, material. he befriended ''Jake,'' and Dear Annie: My friend's now the two of them smoke son married a lovely young marijuana daily. They spend their evenings riding Annie's woman whose only brother died a few years ago. The skateboards, playing video wife kept her maiden name games and hanging out by Kathy Mitchell after marriage for profeswith college kids. I would like to buy a and Marcy Sugar sional reasons. The couple is expecting house, have children and further my education. My husband their first child, and the wife would says he wants the same things, but like to name the boy after her he always has an excuse for not sav- deceased brother, giving him her ing money. We both have good jobs, last name. Her reasoning is that it and he promises to start putting would ensure that her family name money aside ''next month.'' It never is carried on. Her husband has male happens. I know he won't give up cousins who can carry on the famipot. He says he will get divorced ly name, but she doesn't. My friend is in shock. If her son before he quits smoking marijuana, and I knew that before we married. agrees to this irrational request, she Am I wrong to put my foot down believes her family name stops and expect him to grow up? Or do I there. In her mind, cousins do not need to lighten up and let him have count in carrying on one's lineage. his fun? — Feeling Like My Hus- However, she doesn't want to cause a family rift by openly and strongly band's Mother Dear Feeling: You and your hus- opposing this possibility. Do you band do not have compatible goals. have any suggestions for her? — He wants to be an irresponsible Friend of the Family Dear Friend: This is completely child while you do all the work. And so far, you have gone along up to the couple, and your friend with that. Maybe he's afraid to grow should try to stay out of it. Frankly, up, maybe he's too addicted to pot, the wife has the stronger claim for carrying on a family name. It's also maybe he's simply a Peter Pan. Ask him to come with you for possible that the couple will have counseling so the two of you can other sons. And plenty of women work on a more equitable partner- object to the old-fashioned (and ship. If he is unwilling or if nothing sexist) notion that only the boys changes, there is no future here count when it comes to lineage. We Mailbox know your friend is hurt and disappointed, but if she wants a relationship with her son, his wife and their child, she needs to put this aside. Dear Annie: I shared the same frustration as ''Troubled in High School,'' the 16-year-old girl who can only think about boys, drugs, alcohol, dating and grades. She wants her life to be exciting. I'd like to suggest she try participating in her school's community service club. I was a member of my school's ''Key Club,'' which is sponsored by the Kiwanis organization. It gave me the opportunity to focus on things outside of myself and my desires as a teenager and allowed me to put my energy into doing good. My friends who did drugs respected me enough to never offer me drugs. I hated that my parents were so strict, but now that I'm almost 30, I can appreciate that they molded me into an independent person who is confident in leading instead of following. There is nothing wrong with being a perfect little angel. I'm proud of that reputation. — Happy in Hawaii Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Just hanging around this summer I had my fight in Colorado. Dieted and worked out and got down to 116 pounds for this one. Our contract weight was 118, but I loath the idea of having to cut any extra in a plastic suit, so I always make sure to come in under. I recognized the ref from another fight I had in Colorado, and he wasn't particularly fond of me then or now. We were set to go 5 rounds, and the fight lasted all 5 as I figured it would. Her fans were calling me more nasty names than I've ever been subjected to in my life. It was probably harder for my husband to tolerate that than me, as I had a fight to distract me. I was the more powerful of it as I want. I've been and skilled fighter; I hitting up Siagon Bistro, threw more punches, I Eggroll King, Los Marihad her going backwards achi's, Luigi's, Hometown most of the time. I even Buffett.... Dang, it looks had her butt bad when I list through the them! I've been ropes at one going paddlepoint. boarding, yard When the last saling, hanging bell rung, out by the poolthough, I was just relaxing and not the one enjoying life. I who's hand the honestly can't ref held up. remember the They gave her last time I felt so the unanimous content. I'm decision. savoring every I was angry, experience, and Avery but as she was even eating cake the hometown with my cogirl, I expected workers (someas much. They Fitness Buff thing I haven't always say, been able to do when you fight in years). So, out of town, if you don't life is good, really, really knock 'em out, you lose. good. And I thank God Well that's the sad, that I was able to enjoy crooked truth of it all. my sport at a professional I did some soul search- level and come out ing, and I came to a con- unscathed. clusion that night. I decidA lot of folks don't ed to hang up the gloves believe that I will really for good. The dieting, the retire as I've come out of training up to 4 hours a retirement a few times day 6 days a week, the already, but I don't see me crushing decisions..... subjecting myself to the Fighting has lost it's stress of the whole game appeal for me at this of fighting again. The point. One big factor was always having to be on a that the older gentlemen strict diet. The having to who wrapped my hands travel to fights and raise for the fight was so shaky- money for my corner's to he attributed that to his go with me. The wonderyears of fighting. I was ing if my opponent will thinking at that point, do I make weight or pull out really want to end up for some injury. But probdamaged because of too ably, the most stressful many years in the ring? aspect of fighting, the part Nope. I got out with very that nearly drove me little damage. One thing I insane every single time? did notice was that I have It was the day of the fight, a terrible time remember- and waiting all day and ing people's names. But most of the night for my then, I was like that before turn to step into the ring. I started fighting. It was maddening. I So, it's pretty much always told my hubby — been like a vacation ever if I could just fly there, we since I quit. I get to eat weigh in and fight immewhat I want and as much diately, it would take so Vilche much stress and anticipation out of the game. People have been asking me, though, what now? What I'll I do, now that I'm not fighting? Pretty much whatever I want. I may train a few people for grappling tournaments or boxing matches. I started my belly dance troupe up again and look to take my girls on the road. I still have openings if that's a dream of yours. I even signed up for a couple of those mud runs that I've always wanted to do but couldn't because I wasn't sure if I'd get hurt and have to pull out of a fight. My first one is a 5K obstacle course run at Mt. Shasta on July 27. I have a few friends doing it with me, but could always use a few more if you'd care to join us. So, farewell Boxing, my first and last love. I started with you over 20 years ago. I cheated on you with kick-boxing and then my rotten mistress, mma (greasy woman). I came back to you last year and really enjoyed slipping on those big gloves and getting into the ring and wearing those beautiful, purple satin shorts. Of all he fighting arts, I will miss you most of all. But fear not, we can still mess around together in the gym- on the speed bag, on the heavy bag, a little shadow boxing, some sparring now and then... Yep, you'll always be a part of my life. You gave me confidence to tackle anything, no matter how frightening. I always tell myself, if you can step into the ring with a stranger, you can get up in front of a large group of folks and give a presentation. So, for all the fun, for all the opportunities to travel to exotic places like Oklahoma, for all the strange and wonderful people I've met along the way, for the boost of confidence and self esteem, for all those gorgeous black eyes... I thank you, boxing. Avery Vilche is a professional boxer and owner of Psycho Fitness & MMA.You can reach her at vilcheavery@yahoo.com or at her website, www.psychofitnessmma.c om. Foot ulcers should not be left untreated filled pocket; DEAR DOC— A spreading TOR K: I have an infection of the open sore on the skin and underlybottom of my foot. ing fat; Can I just cover it — A bone with a Band-Aid infection; until it heals, or do — Gangrene, I need to see a an area of dead, doctor? DEAR READDr. K darkened body tissue. ER: I am glad you by Anthony L. If you have asked this ques- Komaroff, M.D. good circulation, tion, because in most circumstances, just your doctor can treat covering it with a Band- your foot ulcer by trimming away diseased tisAid is a really bad idea. I'm guessing that this sue and removing any "sore" is more than some nearby callused skin. The redness of the skin. I doctor will apply a dressassume it is a little hole ing and may prescribe or crater, and that the top specialized footwear to skin of the sole of your relieve pressure on the foot is gone. If that's the affected area. If there is a case, what you've got is possibility of infection, called a foot ulcer. A foot you may need to take ulcer crater is often sur- antibiotics. Foot ulcers that do not rounded by a border of thickened, callused skin. respond to more conserva(I've put an illustration tive therapy may require on my website, AskDoc- surgery. If you have poor torK.com.) Some craters circulation, you may need are shallow. In severe surgery to correct bloodulcers, the red crater may flow problems in your leg be deep enough to arteries. And if the circuexpose tendons or bones. lation is poor enough, If you have a foot ulcer, there may be no way to you should see your doc- cure a foot ulcer, and the recurrent infections that tor. People with diabetes develop in that ulcer, are more likely to get except by amputating the severe foot ulcers. That's foot. So if you've had one because diabetes can cause nerve damage in the foot ulcer, you should see feet, which makes them your doctor about it. After less sensitive to pain or the ulcer is cured, you discomfort. People with should take steps to help diabetes can injure their prevent future ulcers: — Examine your feet foot significantly and not know it because they every day to check for experience no pain. As a rubbed areas, cracks or result, the ulcer can slow- calluses. — Wash your feet ly get worse. People with diabetes every day using mild soap are at special risk from and warm water. Dry thorhaving a foot ulcer. oughly. Apply moisturizBecause diabetics often ing lotion to dry areas. — Wear roomy, wellhave poor blood supply in their feet, their foot ulcers cushioned shoes and soft, have more trouble healing. absorbent socks. Healing requires a good Dr. Komaroff is a blood supply to provide energy and a steady flow physician and professor Harvard Medical of immune system cells to at School. To send do its work. go to Foot ulcers are vulnera- questions, or ble to infection. An AskDoctorK.com, untreated infection can write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second develop into: — An abscess, or pus- Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Vendors sought for Harvest Sale Open Door Community Church is hosting its 7th annual Community Harvest Sale 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 14, at 33883 Highway 44 in Shingletown. There will be fun for the whole family with Craft Booths, Yard Sale Booths, Rummage Sale, Bake Sale, Food and Drinks, Music and Face Painting. The event is free and open to the public. Vendor applications will be accepted through Sept. 6. Booths are available for $25 for a 12' x 12' space. Call Pat for info at 530 474-4791.

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