Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/122900
Friday, April 19, 2013 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Woman's choices alienate her daughter Restore dry skin with affecting her behavior, makDear Annie: I have ing it more extreme. I suggrown children from my gested she speak with her first marriage. I now have a doctor, but she insists the 7-year-old son from my steroids aren't a problem. second marriage, and we I'm baffled and hurt. We are home-schooling him. used to have wonderful My older children, who talks. Her little brother all attended public school, adores her, and it breaks my aren't terribly keen on this. One of them, ''Jenny,'' crit- Annie's heart to think their relationship has been put on hold. icizes home-schooling and Any advice? — Upset Up then gets into what she considers insufficient socializa- by Kathy Mitchell North Dear Upset: You may be tion. She says if her baby and Marcy Sugar right about the steroids, but brother doesn't turn out right, it's because I deprived him of even so, you cannot force Jenny to something. When she's finished address it. You need to back off a bit with that topic, she criticizes the and let Jenny work through this hercondition of our 30-year-old house. self. Send her a note saying you Then she says my house is too clut- love her and miss her, but you will tered, which I admit, but it's fairly respect her decision and wait for her well organized, and I regularly to get in touch. If nothing changes donate old clothing and appliances. within, say, six months, you might Jenny has offered to help me with consider asking one of your other the clutter, but I suspect that's an grown children to act as an intermeexcuse to throw away all of my diary to find out whether more is going on and how you might be able things. Jenny's latest complaint is that to improve things. Dear Annie: My friend is going I've ''changed'' and she can no longer talk to me. We used to be through a rough time with her famable to talk about everything, and ily. She has resorted to self-harm. I now Jenny feels that I bring up God am worried for her. She says she too often. My faith has deepened, wants help, but she doesn't want but I remind Jenny that I am still the people to know she's cutting. I mother I've always been, albeit respect this, so please tell me what older. But she has decided to cut off to do. — Helpless in Illinois Dear Helpless: Some people communication for an unspecified period of time, saying she ''needs resort to cutting as a way to cope with intense emotional pain. The space.'' Jenny has an illness that flares up problem, of course, is that it's not a periodically, and she takes steroids useful way to manage pain. The cutregularly. I'm concerned that this is ting will create scars, she might Mailbox accidentally cut too deeply, and if the cutting continues, it can become compulsive and addictive. Some people who cut also suffer from underlying depression or other mental health issues. You don't say how old your friend is, but please encourage her to talk to a professional. This might mean confiding in her parents or other relatives, or a doctor, school counselor or teacher, or going to a nearby mental health clinic. This is not something that either of you should keep secret. Discussing her family problems will help, and a counselor can work with her to find more productive ways to deal with her emotional pain. Dear Annie: I don't get why everyone feels they have to give hints to those guests who stay too late. Why not just say, ''I loved our visit, but I have to get up early in the morning,'' or ''I'm having trouble staying awake''? If someone was rude enough to say, ''If they're going to be here all night, better make up a pallet on the floor,'' that would be the last time we ever visited. — Simi Valley, Calif. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. And how are the children? By Denise Snider, Executive Director, First 5 Tehama David Finigan serves as President of the California State Association of Counties and is a Del Norte County Supervisor. Here is what he has to say about making children our priority: "I have always admired the African tribe the Masai – not for their fighting spirit or intelligence, but for their cultural values. Their traditional greeting, passed down through generations, is 'Kasserian Ingera'. Simply translated, this means, 'And how are the children?' The question would be asked until the answer, 'All the children are well,' was given. This would mean that priorities for protecting the young and vulnerable were in place, that the Masai community was doing everything it could to ensure the safety and prosperity of its youngest generation. Every day we should ask the question, 'How are the children?' And every day, we need to keep that question in the back of our minds as you undertake your role as a community member, agency director and or elected leader." First 5 Tehama is standing strong with David Finigan's inspiring words of wisdom and his call for putting children first. With his words, he has validated the 13 years of First 5 Tehama services in Tehama County. We will continue to ask how our children are doing and are we doing everything we can to help them? In every policy we develop, budgetary allocation made or decision reached, we will ask how it will impact the children in our communities. First 5 Tehama proudly supports 2013 as the Year Child in Tehama County. As for the state and local leaders, we know is too easy to focus on the task at hand — to only see the direct impacts of our decisions in such areas as justice or transportation. But we must understand that every area for which we are responsible touches children's lives in some facet. Our children cannot be ignored. They are our future. We must ensure they are our constant focus. "Through First 5 Tehama, I am challenging all of our leaders to follow in David's footsteps and make children our top priority. In some ways, what I am advocating for would be a cultural change," declared Denise Snider, Executive Director of First 5 Tehama County, "advocating for all of us to ask the question, 'And how are the children?' We will continue to focus on the children in our community – their present and future – until we can truly and without reservation answer this question with, 'All the children are well.'" On Tuesday, March 26, Tehama County Board of Supervisors adopted a resolution proclaiming 2013 as "The Year of the Caltrans reminds drivers to move over SACRAMENTO – Caltrans workers and the California Highway Patrol will be out in force today on highways throughout the state, installing "Move Over" signs intended to help save lives and increase safety for motorists, highway workers, CHP officers, and other law enforcement. "Every day, highway workers put their lives in danger just by going to work," said Caltrans Director Malcolm Dougherty. "We're asking motorists to slow down, watch out for highway workers and CHP, and safely move over a lane when they see flashing amber lights on Caltrans or other emergency vehicles." The new signs will display the messages, "Move Over or Slow for Stopped Emergency and Maintenance Vehicles" and "Move Over or Slow When Amber Lights Flashing." In addition, more than 700 existing electronic highway message signs statewide will display, "Move Over or Slow for Workers, It's the Law." "Every year, a growing number of law enforcement, emergency personnel, and highway workers are killed or injured along California's roadways," said California Highway Patrol Commissioner Joe Farrow. "One way to help minimize the risk for these workers is for the motoring public to do their part by paying attention and exercising caution on the road. If you see emergency lights on the shoulder ahead, the law requires you to move over or slow down." The Move Over law, which took effect in 2007, was amended in 2009 to add Caltrans vehicles displaying flashing amber warning lights to the list of vehicles for which motorists must move over if safe to do so, or slow down. Highway construction and maintenance work is one of the most dangerous occupations in the United States. Since the 1920s, 178 Caltrans employees have died while on the job. For more information about Move Over, visit www.dot.ca.gov/moveover/. CARE TO COMMENT? At redbluffdailynews.com, scroll to the end of any story, click the link and type away. The Over 25 years of experience STOVE JUNCTION BBQ PELLETS The North State's premier supplier of stoves All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened Member Discount 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check $ starting at 95 $ 25 + 8 certificate 25 (MOST CARS & PICK-UPS) 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. Now in Stock! Popular customer request Serving Butte, Glenn & Tehama Counties Tues-Sat 9am-5pm • Closed Sun & Mon 22825 Antelope Blvd., Red Bluff 530-528-2221 • Fax 530-528-2229 www.thestovejunction.com Child." We applaud them for taking up David's challenge to make children our top priority. Let's not stop there. Let's engage our community partners and ask the same of them. It is imperative for us to recognize, listen to and work with our local groups and organizations that focus on children – child care councils, school boards, court appointed special advocates, foster parents, Little League and other recreational programs, church groups, the list goes on and on. Inviting them to our meetings to tell their story of how they are partnering to better the community for our children. As a community, we must ask the same of the Governor and Legislature. Invite them to become partners in prioritizing the children. Insist that when they are discussing policy, proposed legislation or the state budget, they too, ask the question, "How does this impact the children?" Community Clip? e-mail: clerk@redbluffdailynews.com or Fax: 527-9251 change of seasons without clogging DEAR DOCpores. Because TOR K: Winter they contain no has wreaked havoc water, they're best on my skin. It's used while the dry, itchy and skin is still damp cracked. What can from bathing, to I do to restore it, seal in the moisnow that spring is ture. Other moishere? Dr. K turizers contain DEAR READwater as well as ER: When the air by Anthony L. is dry, it sucks Komaroff, M.D. oil. These are less greasy. moisture away Here are some additionfrom our skin. Our skin is built to retain moisture, al ways to combat dry skin: — Use a humidifier. but as we grow older it — Limit yourself to doesn't do as good a job. Wintertime poses a spe- one five- to 10-minute cial problem because bath or shower daily. — Use lukewarm water humidity is low both outdoors and indoors. The rather than hot water. combination of unusually When hot shower (or dry air and aging leads to bath) water evaporates from your skin, it takes dry skin. I was raised in South- away more moisture. — Minimize your use ern California, and the air was not particularly dry of soaps. If necessary, moisturizing even in winter. As a result, choose I virtually never had a preparations, or consider problem with dry skin — soap-free cleansers. — Steer clear of except after I stayed out in deodorant soaps, perthe sun too much. When I came to Boston fumed soaps and alcohol in my 20s, my young skin products. — Avoid bath sponges, was exposed for the first time to long periods of scrub brushes and washreally dry air in winter. cloths. — Pat or blot (don't Still, my skin never got dry until I entered my late rub) the skin when towel40s. I began to notice ing dry. — Apply moisturizer roughness, flaking, itching and cracking. That's immediately after bathing when I started to do the or after washing your simple and inexpensive hands. — Don't scratch dry things I now recommend spots. Most of the time, a to you. Skin moisturizers, moisturizer or cold pack which rehydrate the outer- can control the itch. — Use fragrance-free most layer of your skin and seal in moisture, are a laundry detergents and good first step. Moisturiz- avoid fabric softeners. — Avoid wearing wool ers contain three main types of ingredients. and other fabrics that can Humectants help attract irritate the skin. Chronically dry skin is moisture. Other chemicals — petrolatum (petroleum chronically irritated skin. jelly), silicone, lanolin It is more likely to develand mineral oil — help op blotchy colors and red, seal that moisture within chapped areas. Keeping the skin. Emollients, such your skin moist will as linoleic, linolenic and improve its appearance. lauric acids, smooth skin Dr. Komaroff is a by filling in the spaces physician and professor between skin cells. Harvard Medical In general, the thicker at To send and greasier a moisturizer, School. go to the more effective it will questions, AskDoctorK.com, or be. Some of the most effective are petroleum write: Ask Doctor K, 10 jelly and moisturizing oils, Shattuck St., Second which prevent water loss Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Cinco De Mayo celebration Latino Outreach of Tehama County is proud to announce that former Gerber resident Daniel "El Ausente" Munoz will be the Master of Ceremonies and will perform at the 2013 Cinco De Mayo event. Munoz is a local artist that is still involved in the community and is willing to help out at this year's 15th annual event. There has also been great entertainment lined up for this year's event. For more information call Latino Outreach of Tehama County (530) 529-1800.