Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/11874
Saturday, June 12, 2010 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES Husband in surgery, stuck with in-laws Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 22 years. Two weeks ago, I took him to the ER because he had abdominal pains. After hours of waiting, his sched- uled CT-scan was delayed. The doc- tor recommended I go home, since it was 4 a.m. My husband was supposed to call me as soon as he had the results. Instead, he called his mother. I Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar finally phoned, and he told me he needed a laparoscopic appendecto- my. He then said his mother and sis- ter would be driving up to visit (it’s 330 miles) and staying with me. This didn’t exactly make me happy. We are doing some renova- tions, and I felt their visit was intru- sive and unnecessary for a minor surgical procedure. My mother-in- law and sister-in-law did nothing to help around the house, so not only was I overseeing the workers and taking care of my husband (who was home within 18 hours after surgery), but also cooking and cleaning up after my in-laws. They left three days later, and my mother- in-law has called daily to see how her baby is doing. I did not discuss my feelings with my husband until last evening, and it caused a big fight. I’m a very private person and do not easily share personal information with family members. Although I think my husband’s mother needed to know about his surgery, I believe he should have waited to call her at a later time or should have been more adamant about discouraging her visit. Did I overreact? — Needing To Know Dear Needing: A tiny bit. Your husband should have given you the results of his medical tests first, but Mom also deserved to know. He should not have encouraged them to visit without checking with you, but it’s understandable that Mom was worried. All surgeries, even minor ones, carry risk. Finally, Mom and Sis should have helped you out instead of being a burden. Because you do not like to share this kind of information with family members, you reacted negatively. Because your husband loves his family and saw no reason to keep this from them, he doesn’t under- stand why you are upset. He needs to put you first, and you should work on being more tolerant of your in-laws. Dear Annie: My husband cheat- ed on me. My best friend saw me through the emotional pain and the divorce. Now this same friend is having an affair with a married man. She refuses to listen to me when I remind her how much my hus- band’s affair hurt. I can barely stand to be near her, but I also don’t think I can handle losing both my hus- band and best friend in the same year. What should I do? — Alone and Lonely Dear Alone: Your friend is in love and not rational. You may need to avoid her for a while, so consider this an opportunity to get involved in new activities and expand your social circle. Check your park dis- trict, community center and the Chamber of Commerce. Sign up for some computer classes. Take tango lessons. Volunteer at the local chil- dren’s hospital or animal shelter. Make yourself busy enough to focus on what’s good in your life instead of what isn’t. Dear Annie: As a widow who still misses her husband desperate- ly, I would like to respond to ‘‘Still Miss Him,’’ who resents that her mother remarried after Dad died. Does she believe her late father was so selfish as to want to deny Mom a chance at some happiness? Mom’s decision to marry is not about Dad. He is out of the compe- tition. The contest is between living with his memory and living with a live spouse. As a person who has been wid- owed for five years, it is no contest. I would not compare the new spouse to the deceased, only to the prospect of continued widowhood. An undertaker once told me that it is the widowed with happy mar- riages who choose to remarry. — Widowhood Stinks Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Dog impresses at SERRF Dog Club Hope for patients who have Behcet’s DEAR DR. GOTT: This letter is in regards to your recent article concerning the woman with Behcet’s disease. I was diagnosed with Behcet’s in 1990 and saw 27 doctors before being diag- nosed and finding my way to remission. The woman in your article is suffering from one of the worst parts of Behcet’s: the inability to eat due to mouth and throat lesions. She is starving to death, and at this point, food is the medicine that she needs more than any- thing. This, too, happened to me. I lost 80 pounds and was in bed for months, waiting to die. Finally, a doctor prescribed Costanzi’s solution, a com- pound used for those with mouth cancer, etc. I know you cannot prescribe med- ication, but this woman needs to know that Costanzi’s will allow her to swallow again. It kills the pain long enough to take those much-needed bites of food. All she needs to do is swish and swallow, wait a few moments, and then eat or drink. Behcet’s is a lonely dis- ease. I wish I could impart to this woman and her family that they must never lose hope, and that remis- sion is an absolute possi- bility. The average remis- sion for a person with Behcet’s is eight years. I have more than doubled that. Very often, doctors Dr. Peter Gott but live day-to- day, a life full and busy. I wish the same for this woman and her family. DEAR READER: I have reprinted your letter in its complete form because of the positive ray of hope in dealing with this complicated disorder. Costanzi’s is an oral remedy developed by Dr. John Costanzi of the Uni- versity of Texas Medical Branch. Its purpose is to help debilitated patients with conditions such as oral ulcerations related to AIDS, chemotherapy and other conditions. As you pointed out in your attach- ment, it is comprised of Benadryl elixir, tetracy- cline liquid, Nystatin oral suspension and Synalar solution. Disclaimers emphatically stress that any healthcare profession- al who chooses to use this solution does so solely at his or her own risk and the risk of the patient. Courtesy photo Antelope SERRF Dog Club got a great surprise when Officer Rich Ryan from the Tehama County Sheriff's Department and his K-9 companion, Rocky, came to visit. Students were able to pet Rocky while he was masked with a muzzle. Dylan Grames, Darren Carter, Audra Brown and Alisa Harris are shown waiting patiently for their turn to pet Rocky. The students were able to sit and watch Rocky attack a fellow officer adorned in the dog protection suit. Corning call on all volunteers CORNING — Although there is no longer a recreation supervisor, many members of the com- munity want to know how recreation programs can continue. Members of the com- munity spoke at Tuesday’s Corning City Council meeting and asked the council to continue to sponsor the recreation pro- grams that are low liability activities. The council has asked city staff to review the recreation programs that can be successful with- out supervision of city staff members. The answer is volun- teers. "We have some amaz- ing instructors like Dana and Gloria Warren, Michele Burton, Tammy Lambeth, Deb Meents and Bob McConnell, just to Red Bluff Emblem Club and Elks Lodge events in June are as fol- lows: • Saturday, June 12, Red Bluff Elks Lodge rib cook off and Emblem club craft fair, at the Lodge on Gilmore Road, starting at 11 a.m., 527-3421. • Sunday, June 13, Red Bluff Flag Day ritual and student of the month, quar- ter and year awards, 11 name a few,” said former Corning Recreation Super- visor Kimberly Beck. Having such responsi- ble instructors who have built relationships with Corning Elementary School District staff mem- bers helps to prove that programs such as Kenpo karate, line dancing, yoga, all children’s classes and photography, can run with- out city supervision. The city would like to see other programs that were started under the Recreation Department continue. One in particular is the Corning Rotary Youth Basketball League. Brian Crane proved this to be possible years ago when he ran an extremely suc- cessful youth basketball program run by volunteers. "The Corning Recre- ation program grows every Emblem Club events begin a.m., 527-3421. • Wednesday, June 16, Red Bluff Community blood drive, sponsored by Emblem club at Red Bluff Veterans Memorial build- ing, registration 2-6 p.m. No appointment necessary, 527-4589. • Sunday, June 20, Father's Day brunch spon- sored by Red Bluff Emblem Club at Elks Lodge, 527-6435. year by about 20 partici- pants and last year we had 70," Beck said. The fees the participants pay cover the price of reversible jerseys, new equipment and a paid refer- ee. The city already owns the equipment, the Ele- mentary School District is willing to provide the venue and Corning Rotary might entertain a sponsor- ship. In the past, the league has required two referees, one for each court. We have had two high school volunteer coaches, 16 total. The league would also need someone to collect fees, organize teams and order jerseys. With the assistance of high school volunteers, four adults could run the league easily. The City Council will meet June 22 to discuss to continuation of city spon- sored recreation programs. If anyone is interested in volunteering to help con- tinue the Corning Rotary Youth Basketball Program, please call City Hall at 824-7029. overprescribe. The over- load of medications and the side effects are what keep a patient bedridden. In their quest to “cure” me, my doctors went so far as to try chemotherapy and did abdominal surgery, thinking I might have an undetected tumor. I did not. Please know, I do appreciate those efforts and understand them. A great many doctors are not educated about Behcet’s. So people are left to read- ing medical journals and joining associations. They are left to focus on the symptoms they are either experiencing or are wait- ing to occur and are fright- ened to death. In any case, these are all my opinions, and I wouldn’t want to unduly influence someone else. My main concern in writing is the Costanzi’s solution. It very well might help this poor woman. This compound, first for- mulated by a hematologist, might bring her a moment of sheer relief. I remember praying for that — 30 sec- onds of relief! To this day, although I am considered in remission, if my immune system gets knocked or if I get too tired, I might get a lesion, and Costanzi’s saves the day (as does lidocaine gel for lesions elsewhere). This might happen once or twice a year, and who couldn’t live with that? I know what the future holds Benadryl elixir (diphen- hydramine) is an antihista- mine and anticholinergic that works by blocking his- tamine action. Tetracycline is an antibiotic prescribed for fighting bacterial infec- tions. Nystatin treats can- didiasis of the mouth; and Synalar (a steroid) treats inflammation. As you can see, this is a whammy of a solution of infection fight- ers that Costanzi combined successfully to fight oral lesions. It certainly might be a possibility for a Behcet’s patient, who should bring it to the atten- tion of his or her diagnos- ing physician to determine whether it is worth a try. Because I am not an oncol- ogist, nor have I had any experience in dealing with the solution, I cannot do any more than report your findings. I must add that your outlook is positive and promising — exactly what Behcet’s sufferers need. Thank you for shar- ing your positive story. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report “Consumer Tips on Medicines.” Other readers who would like a copy should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092-0167. Be sure to mention the title or print an order form off my web- site at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Stop waiting, sign up for FREE! • Sign up during the month of June and pay no enrollment or first months dues! *Special applies to standard membership rate EFT Get the kids off the couch this summer! • 4 month student special $99 Don’t forget our members now receive a free social membership at Wilcox Oaks golf course. Enjoy their beautiful pool and club house this summer. Tehama Family Fitness Center 2498 South Main St • Red Bluff 528-8656 • www.tehamafamilyfitness.com