Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/111961
Wednesday, February 27, 2013 ��� Daily News FEATURES Grandma���s had it with drama has had two heart Dear Annie: surgeries in the My daughter is a past year, and my drug addict who blood pressure is is in and out of way too high, even jail. Over the past though I take med14 years, we have ication. Should I taken custody of put her in foster her four children. care? ��� Helpless, Two of the kids are great. Howev- Annie���s Tired Granny Dear Helpless: er, the other two You sound like a are the problem. loving The oldest girl by Kathy Mitchell caring, just turned 18 and and Marcy Sugar grandmother, but you are obviously moved out. This kid made our lives miser- overwhelmed by this diffiable. She saw counselors cult situation. You are not multiple times and began alone. Please contact the cutting herself, and we AARP Foundation Grandfinally had to have her Care Support Locator at committed to a hospital. giclocalsupport.org for a We did whatever we list of available agencies thought would work, but and organizations in your nothing did. She quit area that help grandparschool and now lives with ents raising grandchilany friend who will take dren. Some of them offer respite care, and it sounds her in. Now, one of the other like you could use that girls is 13 and doing the kind of assistance. Dear Annie: My hussame thing. It���s as if they lose their minds once they band���s son is getting marhit middle school. Her ried in July. We have not grades are down, she is been asked whether we getting into trouble at would like to invite any of school, she cuts classes our close friends to the and has briefly run away wedding. I know my husband would like to have twice. The other two kids are his good friends see his very involved with school son get married. Would it and church and are as be proper to ask whether good as they can be. But, we could invite a few to Annie, we don���t want to the wedding? My hushandle the 13-year-old band���s ex-wife and her anymore. All of the coun- husband are inviting all of seling, the discipline, the their friends and relatives. I know my husband is problems, it���s too much. My stomach is in knots hurt. I have told him to trying to decide what to call his son and just ask. Is do. I am so tired of kids this OK? ��� Concerned who think they know Stepmom Dear Concerned: Yes. everything but are dumber than dirt, and all of the Is your husband contributing to the cost of the weddrama they command. My friends tell me to ding? If so, he should turn her over to foster have been allotted a small care, but no one else is guest list of his own. If he going to worry enough is not contributing, he about her. My husband should offer to pay for the Mailbox cost of adding his friends to the event. Dear Annie: ������Frustrated������ said she felt taken advantage of by a friend who relies on her for transportation. You suggested setting time limits. As a woman who is disabled and unable to drive, time gets away from me when I���m out. I need to have the visual stimulation every now and then. ������Frustrated���s������ friend may be in a similar situation. And the intellectual stimulus of being with her friend may help her mood tremendously, since being stuck at home can make a person depressed. Please ask ������Frustrated������ to have patience for her friend. ��� Louisville, Ken. Dear Louisville: Many readers assumed this friend was disabled, but the writer made no mention of it. If there is a disability preventing someone from driving, of course it would require additional patience and time to be accommodating. But if the friend simply doesn���t have a license, she needs to be more considerate of those who make the effort to transport her. Annie���s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie���s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Concern about your drinking may indicate a problem cupied with drinking and have DEAR DOCTOR K: I starta strong desire to drink. You ed drinking more during the start to tolerate alcohol; you holidays. It seemed natural, as don���t get tipsy as easily. You there were so many parties and start to feel a little nervous and happy hours. But the holidays shaky several hours after your are long over, and I haven���t cut last drink, and you learn that back. Could I have a problem? another drink can quiet the DEAR READER: You ask a shakes. difficult question. What constiDr. K Alcohol abuse is a milder tutes ���healthy��� versus ���harmproblem. You don���t have the ful��� drinking can vary quite a by Anthony L. bit from person to person. So Komaroff, M.D. same compulsion or physical need to drink as those who are where is the line between social drinking and problem drinking? dependent on alcohol. But you do Does drinking every day or drinking a drink excessively ��� and if you keep drinking excessively, you are very certain amount indicate a problem? Here���s the bottom line: If your pat- likely to go on to alcohol dependence. Even if you aren���t suffering from tern of drinking creates difficulty for you personally, socially or at work, alcohol dependence or abuse, your then your drinking is likely harmful to drinking still could be cause for concern. I���ve known people who just your health. Having said that, I���ve known peo- ���loosen up��� enough that they start to ple who drink throughout the day and say things they may not mean, and have liver and other problems because surely should not say ��� to their of it. Yet they would tell me that spouses, friends, co-workers or bossdrinking wasn���t interfering with their es. Their drinking still is hazardous to family or work life at all. Maybe that���s the way it seemed to them, but their home and work life, and to famtheir drinking was on its way to mak- ily and friends. It also puts them at ing them sufficiently sick that it later risk for developing more serious problems with alcohol down the road. seriously interfered with their lives. The fact that you were concerned If you���re not sure if you might have a drinking problem, answer a few enough about your drinking to ask me questions about your drinking habits. about it is a red flag. Talk to your doctor about your Several screening tests can help determine whether you might have a drink- alcohol use. If you do have a problem, ing problem. (I���ve put two of the tests, you can work with your doctor to the CAGE questionnaire and the determine the best treatment options AUDIT, on my website, AskDoc- for you. torK.com.) Dr. Komaroff is a physician and Alcohol use occurs along a spectrum. Alcohol dependence is the most professor at Harvard Medical School. To severe type of alcohol misuse. It is send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, marked by complete loss of control or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., over drinking behavior. You���re preoc- Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Fireline safety awareness for vendors Starting March 16, Shasta College EWD will be offering an eight-hour Fireline Safety Awareness course for private "hired equipment vendors" to satisfy CalFire and the Federal Wildland Fire Agencies generic hiring requirements for hired equipment vendors. Any private contractor or person employed by a private contractor who desires to participate in a wildland fire and may be subject to assignment on the fire line must complete this annual training. At times when the equipment needed to control an emergency incident exceeds the resources of CalFire and the Federal Wildland Fire Agencies, the agencies hire the equipment and services of the private sector to supplement its own resources. The intent of this eight-hour course is to provide private "hired equipment vendors" with the minimum training necessary to satisfy CalFire and the Federal Wildland Fire Agencies generic hiring requirements for hired equipment vendors. Classes start March 16. For more course or registration information visit www.shastacollege.edu/ewd, click on ���Community Education Classes��� or call the EWD office at (530) 242-7630 or email EWD@shastacollege.ed u. 3B