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4B Daily News ��� Wednesday, February 13, 2013 FEATURES Brother has unrealistic expectations and don���t like his implicaDear Annie: My brothtion that we don���t care. My er, ������Jay,������ and his wife have brother used to be easygoing an adopted daughter, until he married his wife. ������Anna,������ who is now 3 Now they expect a parade years old. We adore her. every time Anna opens her Jay and I recently got eyes. into an argument. He said Are Jay���s expectations they were angry that we reasonable? Should we call didn���t call Anna on her birthday. I was surprised by Annie���s Anna on her birthday even when we���ve already celethis, as we had already brated with her? They act as wished her a happy birthday in person, with a gift and a by Kathy Mitchell if the world revolves around card at her party a few days and Marcy Sugar them. ��� Can���t Keep Up Dear Can���t: Attending prior to her actual birthday. When Jay and I were kids, we were Anna���s birthday party and giving always happy to receive a card and her a gift was sufficient. It���s also a gift from our aunts and uncles. We lovely to call on the actual birthday, never expected them to call, as well. but it is not an obligation. The rest In addition, Jay said that they of Jay���s complaints are irrational were angry that my husband and I and self-centered. We don���t recomdidn���t take time off of work to be at mend arguing with him. He won���t the courthouse to celebrate the see things your way. Placate and ������official������ adoption six months after ignore. Dear Annie: Our daughter is Anna was born. We told him at the time that we couldn���t take time off getting married in July. We decided of work and would celebrate with to give her a lump sum for the wedthem at their home, which we did. ding, and she created a budget to At that time, Jay said it was fine, but handle all aspects of the event. Unfortunately, she selected a now, it apparently wasn���t good enough. When my husband and I wedding gown based on the price, adopted our oldest child, we never and it does not flatter her figure. My demanded that anyone take the day wife and I would like to offer to puroff of work to be at the courthouse, chase a more attractive gown, but nor to be at the hospital when our we don���t know how to approach the subject. Any suggestions? ��� North younger kids were born. Annie, we celebrated Anna���s Carolina Dear North Carolina: Are you adoption multiple times ��� right after her birth, at her baptism, when certain that your daughter selected we gave them a baby shower and this design solely because of the then at their home after the court- price? Your financial assistance house. I reminded Jay of these might only serve to purchase an things and told him we love Anna equally unflattering gown in a more Mailbox expensive fabric. Keep in mind that alterations can work wonders, and Mom could enlist the help of the seamstress to ascertain whether your daughter is unhappy with her gown. If so, it���s perfectly fine to say you want her to have something closer to the dress of her dreams. Otherwise, please repeat the old saying that ������all brides are beautiful.������ Dear Annie: This is for ������Tired in Nebraska,������ whose husband has sleep apnea and refuses to wear a CPAP. I���m an orthodontist who has successfully fit many patients with a dental sleep appliance that is very comfortable to wear. Sleep centers do not always mention their availability, but it should not be difficult to find an orthodontist or general dentist who will fit her husband. These appliances are covered by insurance with a prescription from a physician and are the next best treatment to CPAP devices, which many people cannot tolerate. ��� Sympathetic Orthodontist Dear Sympathetic: Many readers recommended a dental appliance that can help with apnea and is easier to wear. Thanks to all who suggested it. Annie���s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie���s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Shasta Land Trust���s Wildways Kickoff Shasta Land Trust���s annual Wildways Kickoff party is coming up on Saturday, February 23, from 6-10pm at the Redding Senior Citizen���s Hall, and will feature sliders made from locally-raised Prather Ranch beef, local wines and beer, an auction featuring artwork and craft items made by local artists, and music provided by Pat Karch���s Jazz Quartet. The theme for this year���s Kickoff Party is ���Shasta Safari,��� a reference to the local wildlife on the ranchlands that Shasta Land Trust protects with conservation easements. To date, the land trust has protected over 20,000 acres of land within Shasta County. Whether you���re a Shasta County native or a recent import, you���re bound to have fun at Shasta Land Trust���s biggest annual event. Take a look at the handcrafted jewelry, weekend getaways, handmade woodcraft items, paintings, photographs, and other items available in the silent auction. And you���ll need to grab a raffle ticket from Valerie IngMiller, a familiar voice on Jefferson Public Radio, for a chance to win one of several great gift basket prizes. All of the auction and raffle items have been donated so all of the proceeds directly support Shasta Land Trust. The highlight of the Kickoff Party is that it is the first opportunity to purchase tickets to other exclusive Wildways events held throughout the year. These events range from bird-watching field trips and guided history strolls to wine tasting events and small group culinary lessons. Wildways event tickets go on sale at the Kickoff and are sold first-come, firstserve, and your ���place in line��� is based on when you purchase your ticket to the Kickoff. Shasta Land Trust member, Cassie Simons, states ���Attending the Wildways Kickoff Party is truly a win-win situation; participants have a great time at a unique party while celebrating major local land conservation projects and locally crafted goods. After the Kickoff Party, Wildways events are hosted throughout the year, which are unique events that range from learning how to cook foreign cuisine, to overnight camping adventures under star- ry skies, to visits at local wineries and breweries, to hunting for exquisite botanical life in endless beds of wildflowers with experts in the field." The most popular Wildways events often sell out during the Kickoff Party, so you need to be present to make sure you claim your spot. Tickets for the Wildways Kickoff Party cost $30 and may be purchased by calling Shasta Land Trust at (530) 241-7886, visiting the Shasta Land Trust website at h t t p : / / w w w. s h a s t a landtrust.org, or stopping by the office at 1918 West St. in Redding during business hours. Tickets will also be available for $35 the night of the Kickoff at the Redding Senior Citizen���s Hall, 2290 Benton Drive. ���Sundowning��� is real DEAR DOCTOR K: avoid them. ��� Stick to a regular My wife is in her late 70s. schedule. Take Lately she appears walks or exercise very tired and agiat the same time tated in the each day, preferevenings. I talked ably early in the to a doctor friend day. Eat an early who said she dinner and go to might be ���sunsleep at the same downing.��� What is time each night. sundowning, and ��� Schedule what can we do about it? Dr. K a p p o i n t m e n t s , trips and activities DEAR READby Anthony L. ER: Some older Komaroff, M.D. in the morning. Limit obligations people have trouble concentrating, grow in the late afternoon agitated or even confused, hours. ��� Take a late afterand become especially fatigued at the end of the noon rest. Just putting her day. This phenomenon is feet up and closing her known as ���sundowning��� eyes for a short respite can because its effects tend to help preserve your wife���s coincide with sunset ��� energy and prevent endusually occurring in the of-day fatigue. ��� Prevent overstimulate afternoon into the evening, then settling lation by reducing noise from televisions or steredown late at night. Sundowning behavior os. ��� Reduce food and commonly occurs in people with Alzheimer���s dis- beverages that contain ease, but it can also occur caffeine, or restrict them in older people without to early morning hours. Alzheimer���s disease or Caffeine can stay in your system for as long as 16 other types of dementia. Sundowning is more hours and interrupt your likely to occur in an unfa- sleep. Poor quality sleep miliar environment in a may also contribute to dark place. I had a patient sundowning. ��� When she begins to who never experienced sundowning at home, but feel symptoms, she should sometimes when she and either rest or do someher husband traveled, it thing familiar that relaxes would happen in a hotel her, such as knitting or room at night. Sundown- reading the newspaper. If the problem is ongoing occurs quite often in hospitalized patients. It ing, have your doctor can lead to problems such review the medications as falls and fractured she is taking to be sure bones as people get out of that they���re not causing bed in their confusion and the problem. Sundowning is more trip over something. Sundowning isn���t an common in older people illness; it���s a temporary than you might think. Forcondition, and we don���t tunately, it���s not usually a entirely understand what sign of a serious underlycauses it. One explanation ing problem. But it can is that by late afternoon, lead to problems, like falls some older people have and fractures, so try some difficulty coping with the of the things that you and accumulation of stresses she can do yourselves. If that build over the course they don���t help, ask her doctor if testing of her of the day. Here are some ways intellectual function might you and your wife can be required. But I���ll bet alleviate the effects of that won���t prove necessary. sundowning: ��� Keep a daily log and Dr. Komaroff is a jot down events that seem to trigger symptoms. For physician and professor at instance, too much noise Harvard Medical School. or the act of preparing To send questions, go to dinner could be a trigger. AskDoctorK.com, or write: Once you and your wife Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck recognize these triggers, St., Second Floor, Boston, you can work on ways to MA 02115. Eight tax benefits for parents Your children may help you qualify for valuable tax benefits, such as certain credits and deductions. If you are a parent, here are eight benefits you shouldn���t miss when filing taxes this year. 1. Dependents. In most cases, you can claim a child as a dependent even if your child was born anytime in 2012. For more information, see IRS Publication 501, Exemptions, Standard Deduction and Filing Information. 2. Child Tax Credit. You may be able to claim the Child Tax Credit for each of your children that were under age 17 at the end of 2012. If you do not benefit from the full amount of the credit, you may be eligible for the Additional Child Tax Credit. For more information, see the instructions for Schedule 8812, Child Tax Credit, and Publication 972, Child Tax Credit. 3. Child and Dependent Care Credit. You may be able to claim this credit if you paid someone to care for your child or children under age 13, so that you could work or look for work. See IRS Publication 503, Child and Dependent Care Expenses. 4. Earned Income Tax Credit. If you worked but earned less than $50,270 last year, you may qualify for EITC. If you have qualifying children, you may get up to $5,891 dollars extra back when you file a return and claim it. Use the EITC Assistant to find out if you qualify. See Publication 596, Earned Income Tax Credit. 5. Adoption Credit. You may be able to take a tax credit for certain expenses you incurred to adopt a DAILY NEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMA COUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U NTY S I N C E 1 8 8 5 child. For details about this credit, see the instructions for IRS Form 8839, Qualified Adoption Expenses. 6. Higher education credits. If you paid higher education costs for yourself or another student who is an immediate family member, you may qualify for either the American Opportunity Credit or the Lifetime Learning Credit. Both credits may reduce the amount of tax you owe. If the American Opportunity Credit is more than the tax you owe, you could be eligible for a refund of up to $1,000. See IRS Publication 970, Tax Benefits for Education. 7. Student loan interest. You may be able to deduct interest you paid on a qualified student loan, even if you do not itemize your deductions. For more information, see IRS Publication 970, Tax Benefits for Education. 8. Self-employed health insurance deduction - If you were self-employed and paid for health insurance, you may be able to deduct premiums you paid to cover your child. It applies to children under age 27 at the end of the year, even if not your dependent. See IRS.gov/aca for information on the Affordable Care Act. Forms and publications on these topics are available at IRS.gov or by calling 800-TAX-FORM (800-829-3676).