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4B Daily News – Wednesday, January 16, 2013 FEATURES Flame is out after six months of marriage Room full of stimuli with large breasts. I did not Dear Annie: I have been buy these. For years, I've tolmarried for six months and erated leering men and boys, am crazy for my hubby. He suggestive comments, queshas back problems and tions about breast enhancesome sexual issues that ment and assumptions that I keep us from being intiam of easy virtue. Some peomate. At least, those are the ple are unable to make eye excuses he uses for the fact contact because they are starthat we don't touch like we Annie's ing at my bosom — not to used to. mention the idiots who canI recently came across not possibly take me serioussome love notes to an exgirlfriend, saying how they by Kathy Mitchell ly in the business world are going to be happy grow- and Marcy Sugar because of my cup size. I was once refused a job ing old together and how much he loves her. I pay his child because the supervisor was worried support and love his kids like my what his wife would think. I have learned to deal with all own. He says he loves me, but I have doubts that he is being honest. that. But I have issues with the way He is constantly texting and email- other women treat me. Most take an ing and never puts his phone down. immediate dislike to me. Men stare He acts as if he is afraid I will look no matter how modestly I dress, and their wives and girlfriends glare at at it. I've been hurt before by lies and me, call me names they think I don't don't want to go through it again. hear and generally treat me like dirt. What do I do? — Scared and Lone- Even walking in public past a group of women seems to bring on the ly in Kentucky Dear Scared: Were these recent negativity. We talk about bullying because love notes or old ones that you happened to find? If they are old, try to of body type, but doesn't this qualiignore them. He married you, not fy? Women don't seem to see the his ex-girlfriend. If they are recent, hurt they cause, the chance at however, it could be serious, espe- friendship they miss or the chirocially when combined with constant practic bills I have from hauling and secretive texting, calling and these things around. Breast reducemailing. Married partners owe it to tion surgery is not an option for me each other to be open and honest. right now. Please bring this to the Talk to your husband. If his answers attention of your readers. Some don't reassure you, the next step is might recognize their behavior and make an effort to change. — Too counseling. Dear Annie: I am a small woman Well Endowed in Kansas Mailbox Dear Kansas: Women can sometimes ascribe negative traits to an object of jealousy. If your chest attracts their husbands and boyfriends, they need to find a reason to dislike you. We hope your letter serves as a plea for greater tolerance, but we also recommend you check to see whether your insurance covers breast reduction surgery since you have chronic back pain. You shouldn't suffer needlessly. Dear Annie: ''Connecticut'' complained that her ex-husband pressured their kids not to invite her current boyfriend to their family events. You said that unless the kids stood up to Dad, nothing would change. We have dealt with a controlling ex-spouse for 30 years. She has never changed. And the kids don't want to hurt her feelings, because she is still their mother. A long time ago, we made the decision to celebrate birthdays and holidays before or after the actual day. It lets us have a great time with the kids without the stress of dealing with the controlling parent. And we don't miss out on any celebration. — Lucky Grandparents Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. How Medicare works with other insurance You may have wondered how Medicare works with other insurance coverage, such as a group health plan from a former employer or union. It's an important issue because it determines whether your medical bills are paid correctly and on time. If you have Medicare and other insurance, always be sure to tell your doctor, hospital, and pharmacy. When there's more than one insurance payer, certain rules determine which one pays first. This is what's called "coordination of benefits." The "primary payer" pays what it owes on your bills first -- and then sends the balance to the "secondary payer" to pay. In some cases, there may also be a third payer. The primary payer pays up to the limits of its coverage. The secondary payer only pays if there are costs the primary insurer didn't cover. But keep in mind that the secondary payer (which may be Medicare) may not pay all of the uncovered costs. If your employer insurance is the sec- ondary payer, you may need to enroll in Medicare Part B before that insurance will pay. (The Part B premium for most Americans in 2013 is $104.90 per month.) Here's who pays first in various situations: If you have retiree insurance (coverage from a former job), Medicare pays first. If you're 65 or older, have group coverage based on your or your spouse's current employment, and the employer has 20 or more workers, your group plan pays first. (If the company has fewer than 20 employees, Medicare pays first.) Your group plan also pays first when you're under 65 and disabled, have group coverage based on your or a family member's current employment, and the employer has 100 or more employees. (Medicare pays first if the company has fewer than 100 employees.) If you have Medicare because of end-stage renal disease (permanent kidney failure), your group plan pays first for the first 30 months after you become eligible for Medicare. Medicare pays first after this 30-month period. Medicare may pay second if you're in an accident or have a work- Other Health Benefits: ers' compensation case Your Guide to Who Pays in which other insurance First." You can also covers your call 1-800injury or you're MEDICARE suing another (1-800-633entity for med4227) and ask ical expenses. for a copy to be In these situmailed to you. ations you or TTY users your lawyer should call 1should tell 877-486-2048. Medicare as If you have soon as possiquestions ble. These types about who of insurance pays first, or usually pay first David you need to for services update your related to each other insurance type: information, • No-fault insurance (including call Medicare's Coordination of Benefits Conautomobile insurance); • Liability (including tractor at 1-800-999automobile and self- 1118. TTY users should call 1-800-318-8782. insurance); You can also contact • Black lung benefits; • Workers' compensa- your employer or union benefits administrator. tion. Medicaid and TRI- You may need to give CARE (the healthcare your Medicare number to program for U.S. armed your other insurers so service members, your bills are paid corretirees, and their fami- rectly and on time. lies) never pay first for David Sayen is services that are covered regional by Medicare. They only Medicare's for pay after Medicare, administrator Arizona, employer plans, and/or California, Medicare Supplement Nevada, Hawaii, and the Insurance (Medigap) Pacific Trust Territories. You can always get have paid. to your For more informa- answers tion, visit Medicare questions by 1-800www.medicare.gov/pub- calling lications and read the MEDICARE (1-800-633booklet "Medicare and 4227). Sayen may disrupt sleep can have sudden DEAR DOCloud moments. And TOR K: My 8-yearif you play it, but let old has trouble it stop when the falling asleep. Can piece ends, your you give me some child may notice the practical suggessudden absence of tions that may help? music and have DEAR READtrouble falling back ER: The pediatriDr. K to sleep without it. cians here at Harby Anthony L. — Remove vard Medical School who spe- Komaroff, M.D. video games, media players, cellphones, cialize in sleep problems have given me this computers and TVs from advice: To help your child your child's bedroom. Pretty (or anyone of any age, for obvious advice, I know, but that matter) fall asleep, you you'd be surprised how must remove the obstacles often it's not followed. — Position your child's that may impede or disrupt his sleep. By doing so, alarm clock so that it faces you'll make it much easier away from the bed. This can for your child to settle down be helpful if your child and drift off into a restful stresses out each time he sees that five more minutes slumber. Here are some sugges- have passed and he's still awake. tions that should help: — Insist that your child — Stop your child's caffeine intake at least eight do his homework at a desk hours prior to bedtime. Not (or better yet, outside the a lot of 8-year-olds drink bedroom), not in bed. When coffee or tea, but there's homework is done in bed, plenty of caffeine in cola the associated stress doesn't beverages or in chocolate, go away just because the books are closed. for example. Really, it's the same — Reduce your child's exposure to bright light for advice I give adults with the two hours before bed- problems sleeping: Use the time. Dimmer light helps the bed for sleeping, not for reading, watching TV or brain prepare for sleep. — Keep your child's playing games. (If you regubedroom dark, quiet and at a larly do these things in bed and think they help you fall comfortable temperature. — If your son still uses a asleep — and you don't night-light, choose one with have trouble sleeping — please ignore my advice.) a low-intensity bulb. — Keep pets out of your — Reduce the intensity of your child's reading lamp child's bedroom (and out of his bed!). to 40 watts or less. A great e-book, short — Some parents play classical music in the back- and inexpensive, about ground, hoping it will lull a how to help your child fall child to sleep. Bad idea. asleep and stay asleep is Music — particularly great "Successful Sleep Stratemusic — is not "white gies for Kids" by Harvard noise." The ingenious Medical School's Dr. Denmelodies and rhythms are nis Rosen. You can learn compelling and call to you more about this book at even when you're asleep. my website, AskDocEven generally soft music torK.com. Nielsen tapped for Republican leadership Citing his experience and vast knowledge of the state budget, Senator Jim Nielsen (R-Gerber) was appointed to serve as Caucus Whip by Senate Republican Leader Bob Huff (R-Diamond Bar). "California continues to face many challenges," Nielsen said. "It is imperative that Senate Republicans speak with a united voice and advocate for policies that will help improve the economy so more Californians can get back to work." In his appointment of Nielsen, Huff said, "I am honored to have Senator Nielsen on our leadership team. He will play a key role in advancing our common-sense agenda to carefully oversee the operations of state government." Huff added, "This is the only way to assure we provide access to a quality education for our students, strengthen our economy, and increase job opportunities for all Californians." The Senate Republican Caucus Whip assists fellow Republicans and advance policies that will help Californians. Nielsen was elected to the Senate with 66% of the vote in last week's special run-off election to complete the term of former State Senator Doug LaMalfa, who was elected to the United States House of Representatives. Avoiding winter driving dangers As many regions across Northern and Central California are bracing for possible snow, rain, and cold temperatures over the next few months, AAA Northern California urges motorists to get their vehicles ready and refresh their winter driving skills. "Although summer auto crashes are more often fatal, fall and winter have the highest number of weather-related crashes, deaths and injuries," reports Cynthia Harris, AAA Northern California spokesperson. "The combination of poorly maintained vehicles and driver error, along with loss of visibility and slick roads, causes thousands of preventable crashes each year." Preparing your vehicle is the first step in improving your chances of safe winter driving. There are many ways to winterize your car. • Check the systems. Make sure your brakes, defroster, heater, exhaust system, and lights work properly. Change the blades in your wipers and check the level and condition of the antifreeze. • Inspect the tires. Good tread allows the water to escape from under the tires and increases traction. Keep tires at proper pressure. Low pressure allows the tread to squeeze together and reduces traction. Too-high pressure prevents the tread from contacting the road thoroughly. • Keep a full gas tank. In winter it may become necessary to change routes, idle for long periods of time, travel slowly, or turn around in a storm. A full gas tank allows you to do these maneuvers without worrying about running out of fuel. • Keep the windshield and windows clear. Have a snow brush and ice scraper in the vehicle. Clean off the roof of the vehicle and the windows. Use the car's defroster or a clean cloth to "defog" the inside of the windows. • Carry an emergency kit and your AAA card. Items to include in the kit are a flashlight, first-aid kit, flares or emergency triangles, window washer fluid, tool kit, blanket or sleeping bag, gloves, paper towels, drinking water, and extra food. Also include abrasive material such as sand, salt or non-clumping cat litter, and a small shovel to free the vehicle if it becomes stuck. • Include chains. Remember, chains must be installed on the "drive" wheels of the vehicle. • Carry an extra car key. Many motorists lock themselves out of their vehicles when installing chains or attending to weather-related problems. It's not enough to prepare your vehicle for winter. Brush up on these tips for adapting your driving techniques for winter weather conditions. • Adjust your speed for the weather. SLOW DOWN. Keep in mind that your vehicle needs at least three times more distance to stop on slick roads. • Increase your following distance. To safely stop, a vehicle needs a minimum of four to eight seconds between it and the vehicle in front. • Be alert. Learn to "read" road conditions to anticipate a hazard in time to react safely. Bridges, overpasses, and shaded spots are a special danger because ice often forms first in these areas. • Steer clear of collisions. Learn to take evasive action by steering around a situation to avoid collisions. Steering is preferred to braking at speeds above 25 mph because less distance is required to steer around an object than to brake to a stop. In winter weather, sudden braking often leads to skids. • Recognize hydroplaning hazards. Even a small amount of water on the road can cause a vehicle to hydroplane. Onetwelfth of an inch of water between your tires and the road means each tire has to displace one gallon of water a second. To reduce the chances of hydroplaning slow down, avoid hard braking or sharp turns, drive in the tracks of the vehicle ahead of you, and increase your following distance. • React to trouble quickly. If you are in trouble, pull completely off to the side of the road, turn on the hazard lights, light flares or place emergency triangles, signal for help, and stay in the vehicle with your seatbelt on. Call for help on a cell phone. Remember to keep your AAA card handy for these types of emergencies. • Know how to drive in the fog. Visibility in fog can deteriorate in a moment. The rapid loss of visibility creates serious driving hazards. The following are specific driving tips for fog. • Drive with lights on low beam. • Reduce speed. • Listen for traffic you cannot see. Open windows if necessary. • Use wipers and defroster for maximum visibility. • Be patient! Don't switch lanes unnecessarily. • Unless absolutely necessary, don't stop on any freeway or other heavily traveled road. • If possible, postpone your trip until the fog has lifted.