Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/8590
Friday, April 2, 2010 – Daily News – 5A FEATURES Partner too wrapped up in his divorce Dear Annie: I am 33 and have a 16-year-old daughter. I’m currently in a loving relationship with a 44-year-old man. I adore him with all my heart. He treats me well and shows me lots of affection. ‘‘Al’’ is a great father to his four kids, but my problem is that he is still legally married. Al knew when we start- ed dating that I wanted to settle down. Every time I bring up his pending divorce, he talks about how it’s ‘‘not that simple’’ and ‘‘takes time.’’ He goes on to say that his wife wants every last dime and he’s not going to let her take everything he worked so hard for. I don’t know if he’s holding on to the past, or if he’s mad that she left him to be with another man and thinks the other guy should take care of her now. He tells me he wants to be with me and that there is no way he would ever get back together with her. What should I do? — New York Dear New York: This is actually your decision — how long are you willing to wait? Do you want to be with Al even if the divorce takes 10 years? Either Al is harboring mixed feelings about his wife, or he is too wrapped up in the money to put you first. That type of battle can take years to resolve, and in the mean- time, there is tremendous acrimony on all sides, which is terrible for the kids. If Al truly wants to marry you, Open Vistas Aware- ness Center, 900 Walnut St. in Red Bluff, invites the public to join the Sunday program at 10 a.m. April 4 when the center presents an aware- ness celebration honor- he will find a way to push the divorce through, even if it costs him more money than he would like. Other- wise, please get out of this mess. Dear Annie: Please Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar allow me to address two growing problems: morbidly obese people in clothing that does not fit and adults who do not bathe. I was at a restaurant recently, and a hugely fat man walked in. He wore a T- shirt that barely covered his massive chest and left his giant stomach (which hung to his knees) exposed. From the back, you could see a nice portion of his rear end. Needless to say, I lost my appetite. You could feel a rumble of shock and disgust go through the other patrons, as well. The next week, two men came into the same restaurant. They looked OK until I got within three feet and was nearly knocked over by the rancid sweat stink. These were men in their 50s. It’s hard for me to believe they couldn’t smell themselves. Their stench permeated the whole room for the duration of their meal. What has happened to the simple rules of behavior? If you are so fat that your clothes don’t fit, get a big- ger size or have them custom made. If you smell so bad that you’d choke a pig, take a bath. Please don’t tell me to find another restaurant. This one is con- venient, and the food is good. ing the Easter season, the renewal of spring and each person’s own soul awareness. The celebration will honor rich traditions of Easter and the inspiration of Jesus as well as the Instead, would you print this so people who sleep, work out and dine in the same clothing will see themselves? — Grossed Out in the Silver State Dear Silver State: Everyone, even if they think they smell like daisies, should take a shower after working out. Otherwise, stay home. There is no excuse for assuming others will not notice or care. There are, however, people with body odor problems that are physiologi- cal in origin and difficult to treat. They do the best they can and shouldn’t be lumped in with people who practice poor hygiene. As for those who wear ill-fitting clothes that unintentionally expose body parts, we hope your letter will wake them up. It’s not pretty. Dear Readers: We are carrying on Ann Landers’ tradition that April 2 be set aside as Reconciliation Day, a time to make the first move toward mending broken relation- ships. It also would be the day on which we agree to accept the olive branch extended by a former friend or estranged family member and do our best to start over. Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Awareness celebration at Open Vistas herritage found in the influence of other teach- ers, such as Buddha. A potluck meal will be served. Open Vista believes the basis of all life is freedom, the purpose of your local recreation services and bring the American Red Cross to Corning. The humanitarian, volunteer- led, non-profit organization is dedicated to partnering with local communities in disaster response and health services. It wants to partner with the recreation department, city lead- ers and residents of Corning to ensure Red Cross services are accessible to those who need them. life is joy and through awareness and intention people can deliberately create the life they desire. For more information call the Rev. Tresha Wing at 200-0187 or 529-9285. Bring the American Red Cross to Corning CORNING — Help support Specifically it wants to train the leaders and residents of Corn- ing in the following skills: • To establish a location with regularly scheduled training year round for community members in the life-saving skills of CPR, and first aid. • Emergency response services of food, clothing and emergency shelter to victims of house fires, Gallery, 625 Walnut St., will be holding a reception 5-8 tonight for its April exhibit: Rodeo. The exhibit includes “Horse Paintings” a collec- tion by Red Bluff artist Marjorie Curl. The gallery will be open 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday April 12 through Sunday, April 18. Normal hours are localized floods, winter storms and other disasters. • Emergency response to larger disasters that require Emergency Evacuation Shelters and Mass Care. • Emergency messaging to those in the armed forces. The meeting is scheduled for 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, April 6, at City Hall, 794 Third St. For more information, call 891- 0811 or 244-8000. Round-Up exhibit reception set for tonight Montana Morrison Art Wednesdays 2:30-5 p.m. and Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays noon to 5 p.m. The Gallery charges $10 per image shown, but does not charge commission on any sales. For information call 529-3347. Necrotic jaw needs attention DEAR DR. GOTT: I was diag- nosed with dead bone in my jaw in June 2009. It is actually in the large torus palati- nus, on the roof of my mouth. My oral surgeon is convinced it was caused by my tak- ing Actonel or Boniva for osteoporosis for seven years. My fami- ly physician wasn’t so convinced the Boniva caused this. The first step by the oral surgeon was to take me off Boniva. He said we would only watch the exposed bone for six months, that there was a chance the bone would fall out on its own. When he wanted my family physician’s permission to go off the Boniva and I got it, I learned my physi- cian was not so sure about it. After eight months, the bone has grown down, and some has chipped off. Last week, the oral surgeon pulled an area the size of a lima bean out. The current plan is to continue to watch it in the hope the dead bone comes out completely on its own in the next four months. He told me all along it would be a year before he would consider it safe to do surgery if any of the bone needs to be removed. Half the torus palatinus has effectively dissolved. He indicated we might want to con- sider removing the other half to prevent bone from dying there. I would like to avoid surgery if I can. I take good care of my teeth, and I am a 62-year- old female who runs, lifts weights, takes calcium, and tries to do all the right stuff to prevent further damage to my bones from osteoporosis. What do you think of the idea of removing the other half of the torus palatinus? DEAR READER: The torus palatinus is a benign bony growth known as an exostosis located in the middle of the hard palate in the roof of the mouth. Generally, it doesn’t require treatment unless it Dr. Peter Gott becomes so large it interferes with function or dental placement. In fact, the most common reason for surgical removal is that dentures do not fit well. The proce- dure is relatively simple. I am well aware of the issues of necrotic bone from med- ications taken to fight osteoporosis. The issue came to light several years ago and even today prevents a great number of women from taking the recommended medica- tions. I can offer my personal opinion but must defer to your oral surgeon regard- ing surgical removal of the half torus palatinus that remains. If the necrotic (dead) bone ejects on its own, your problems are likely solved. If not, speak with another surgeon for a sec- ond opinion and guidance on what the best course of action is for your situa- tion. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, and the waiting must be terribly frustrating. Some considerations are whether any sharp projections interfere with eating and talking, and whether you constantly irritate your tongue if there are projections. Good luck. To provide related information, I am sending you copies of my Health Reports “An Informed Approach to Surgery” and “Osteoporosis.” Other readers who would like copies should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order for each report to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title(s) or print an order form off my website at www.AskDrGottMD.com. Dr. Peter Gott is a retired physician and the author of the book “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet,” available at most chain and independent bookstores, and the recently published “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook.” Free workshop on fire safety in your landscape Gardening season is here and the Tehama County Resource Conservation Dis- trict is offering a free work- shop, "Fire Foresight: Garden- ing for Wildfire, Wildlife and Pest Management," open to everyone, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Sat- DW PLUMBING INC. Local Plumbers Serving all Your Plumbing Needs Since 1993 530 527-6403 Major Credit Cards Accepted Lic. No 679492 urday, April 10, at the Tehama District Fairground, Jr. Art Building. This is the final workshop in a series of three on garden- ing, landscaping and creating defensible space from wildfire around a home. Those who Bartlett & Spence and • Payroll Open year around 1395 Montgomery Rd. • Bookkeeping Red Bluff, Ca • 527-2276 Marie Bartlett & Shirley Spence Hrs: 9am-6pm Monday-Saturday Boneless Ham Boneless Pork Chops Ground Buffalo $ $ $ 329 299 599 Now Accepting E.B.T., Debit, Credit Cards lb. lb. lb. CHECK OUT OUR IMPROVED SPICE RACK HONEY • SPICES • RUBS • MARINADES 12600 Hwy 99E, Red Bluff Located 5 Miles from I-5 • 530-527-6483 Expires 3-16-10 GREEN BARN STEAKHOUSE Comfortably Casual Dining LUNCH SPECIALS 11:30 am - 2 pm Served with 1 menu item Tuesday Barn Burger Wednesday Corned Beef Ruben Thursday Prime Rib French Dip Friday Steak Sandwich Good thru April 15th $699 No substitutions, not good on to go orders 5 Chestnut Ave.,Red Bluff • 527-3161 PUMPKINLAND Chocolate Company Complete line of Sweets & Holiday Candy made by the Chocolatier. We also have Easter Basket Goodies you pick .89¢ lb Call for availability of /we pick $ 139lb 12000 Hwy. 99E (6 miles South of Red Bluff) 530 527-3026 Open daily 10am-6pm Asparagus Closed Easter Sunday missed the first two workshops are welcome. Topics include practices to apply to yards and gardens, such as reducing wildfire risk, practical pest management, inviting beneficial wildlife to a yard or garden, effects of wild- fire on wildlife, local salmon and deer populations and how yards may effect them, key elements for wildlife and car- bon sequestration. Interested parties are asked to RSVP for the workshop and can receive additional infor- mation by calling the Tehama County RCD at 527-3013, ext. 3. Those who live in Tehama County on the east side of the Sacramento River, may be eli- gible for free yard and garden evaluations.