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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Iamamar- ried mother of a 2-year- old and a 5-month-old baby. My husband and I are both professionals, and I am currently on parental leave. My hus- band's is the "primary" career in the house, and he earns a lot more than I do. I am happy tak- ing care of my little ones, but I am still get- ting up three or four times a night with the baby and getting progressively more tired. Lately I have started snapping and lashing out at my husband. I feel terrible about it later. I have always done everything in the relation- ship — shopping, wash- ing, cooking, cleaning, financials, social activi- ties, etc. — and continue to do so. He isn't great at taking care of himself. He also often wakes up the children when he gets home late from work, which greatly upsets me. I feel as though this is my "job" (as he is the breadwinner), and that I should be able to handle it. If he could even just tidy up after himself, it would make my life easier. He promises to do more, but then doesn't. If I get angry, he im- mediately checks out or acts as though I have behaved badly. I have no perspective on wheth- er I am asking too much. —TiredWife DEAR TIRED » It is a measure of your extreme fatigue that you don't seem to have a perspec- tive on your own feel- ings or reactions to this extreme challenge. It is not your "job" to exhaust yourself taking care of two children, as well as another able-bodied adult. Parenting is a partner- ship, no matter who is the primary breadwinner. With two young children, your husband needs to up his game. His behavior and reaction to you is not kind, loving or helpful. If he can't be more helpful and supportive (because of his profes- sional work hours) or won't participate (because of his bullheadedness), this will be a lonely and very challenging time for you. Yes, he should at the very least tidy up after himself and act like an adult, versus your third child. He is going to have to dial in to your family in practical ways, so that your family can start to thrive. You need practical help and emotional sup- port. Turn over jobs he can do (bill paying and laundry, for instance). I f hi re d ho us e h ol d he lp would ease things for you, then please — get it. He has the opportunity to be a hero. He is refus- ing this opportunity, and is punishing you for your very reasonable expectation. For a scholarly and eye-opening perspective on the challenge you are facing, you and your hus- band should read "The Second Shift: Working Families and the Revolu- tion at Home," by Arlie Hochschild and Anne Machung (2012, Penguin). Exhausted mother deserves some help and understanding You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson. com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Taurus(April20-May20) — Greater stability will be yours if you embrace an offer that comes your way. Don't hesitate to make a move. Taking on a challenge will pay off. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Someone will take advantage of you if you are too easygoing. Think hard about what's being asked of you and if it's in your best interest. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Domestic alterations will entice you, but check to make sure you can afford the changes you want to make before you begin. It's who you are that counts. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Don't dwell on the impossible. Find a way to get along and get things done. Arguing will be a waste of time. Keep the peace. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Look for new opportunities. Go for interviews and send out your resume. Meeting with a former co-worker will lead to an interesting proposal. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — A chance to do something interesting with a close friend, loved one or youngster in your life will give you a boost and offer insight into ways to raise your income. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Refrain from sharing your feelings. Get down to business and do your best to take care of job-related matters with precision. Your reputation relies on finishing what you start. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Talks, meetings and interviews will lead to ad- vancement. It's time to initiate change and use your knowledge, experience and intelligence to go after your goals. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Use your experience to guide you if someone tries to take advantage of you or tempt you to engage in some- thing that isn't in your best interest. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — A steady pace will help you get things done. Don't fret over things you cannot change or the emotional baggage you've been carrying around. Make amends and start anew. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Make sure you get all your facts straight before you forge ahead. Not everyone will be telling the truth. Choose to work with people who will put in as much effort as you. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Make a point to pay close atten- tion to what others do and say. The information you gather will help you avoid getting coerced into a no-win situation. Protect your reputation. Horoscope By Eugenia Last THURSDAY, APRIL 20 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM THURSDAY, APRIL 20, 2017 2 B