Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/768930
JANUARY 4-10, 2016 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Sleeping Beauty I'm a 32-year-old guy, and I want a real relationship. I am good- looking and charming and can get girls into bed pretty early on, but I'm beginning to wonder whether that's hurting me. I think I end up starting relationships based on sex instead of common interests, personality, etc. Does it pay to hold off on sex, and if so, how long? — Wanting It Real There are some wonderful committed relationships that started off with "I want to spend the rest of my boner with you!" The reality is, those lovebirds probably got lucky (in getting it on with someone they happened to be compatible with). When you have sex right away, you're prone to getting into a hormone haze — a sort of sex fog — that ends up blurring just about everything but the bed (and maybe the kitchen table, three or four times). Though people are increasingly getting into relationships through hookups ("sex first/date later"), relationship researcher Dean Busby and his colleagues find that waiting to have sex seems to keep "feels so right!" from killing your ability to see whether it actually is. In their research, dating for at least a month before having sex was associated with higher relationship stability and satisfaction, better sex, and better communication. Again, this isn't to say that people who have sex on — or even before — the first date won't have satisfying relationships. But as the researchers put it, "the rewards of sexual involvement early on may undermine other aspects of relationship development and evaluation" — for example, keeping partners from putting as much energy into "crucial couple processes" like hammering out communication. It can also prolong relationships that ultimately don't work when both people are dressed and standing up. You don't have to set your sex clock according to the research: "Oh, look at the time — week four and a half; better get it on!" The point is to wait until you see whether you really like a person and click with them in all the essential ways. Six months into a relationship, if you grab your partner and kiss them as if the world were ending, it should be because you love them that deeply, not because it's the best way to get them to shut up that doesn't involve jail time. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD A News of the Weird Classic Holes Against Humanity The rebellion against the absurdities of Black Friday this year by the organization Cards Against Humanity came in the form of raising money to dig a pointless hole in the ground. During the last week of November, people "contributed" $100,573, with Cards digging initially for 5.5 seconds per donated dollar. In 2015, according to an NPR report, Cards raised $71,145 by promising to do "absolutely nothing" with it, and the year before, $180,000 by selling bits of bull feces. (Asked why Cards doesn't just give the money to charity, a spokesperson asked why donors themselves don't give it to charity. "It's (their) money.") [NPR via KUOW Radio (Turnwater, Wash.), 11-27-2016] Government in Action New York City's Department of Parks and Recreation has completed its two-year project of assigning ID numbers (with arboreal characteristics) to every one of the 685,781 trees in the city's five boroughs. More than 2,300 volunteers walked the streets, then posted each tree's location, measurements, Google Street View image, and ecological benefits for the surrounding neighborhoods (rainwater retained, air pollution reduced). (Privacy activists hope the National Security Agency is not inspired by this.) [Architecture Daily, 11-28-2016] The Continuing Crisis A note in The New York Times in October mentioned a website that comprehensively covers everything worth knowing and wondering — about shoelaces. Ian's Shoelace Site shows and discusses (and rates) lacing methods, how to mix lace colors, how to tie (comparing methods, variations and, again, ratings), lengths of laces (how to calculate, which formulas to use, what to do with excess lengths), "granny knots," aglet repair and much more — neatly laid out in dozens of foolproof drawings for the shoelace- challenged (because no one wants to be caught in a shoelace faux pas). [Ian's Shoelace Site, http://bit.ly/1mVIpDO] Copyright Chuck Sheppard ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, emails and texts might fill your week as everyone wants to speak with you in the coming days. Schedule a break from your devices if you find yourself overwhelmed. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Career progress is more complicated than you had originally thought, Taurus. You might need to take a step back and reassess your career path. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, doors are opening for you all over the place, but you don't know which one to choose. Speak with someone you trust who can serve as an advisor and mentor. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you have a need to be emotionally connected to others at this time, but you also want to exert your independence. You might have to make some decisions. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, others are on your mind this week. You feel a need to help in any way you can, so use this week to explore volunteer opportunities in your community. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 You may need an adjustment period to tackle a new assignment, Virgo. This is not something to rush, so take your time even if the results are slow to come along. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Prior commitments this week may prevent you from doing something you've long wanted to, Libra. Keep your head up and another opportunity will present itself. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 It could be now or never, Scorpio. You want to make your mark but are cautious in keeping your intentions to yourself. Eventually your master plan will come to light. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, you're increasingly busy this week, but things are not what you expect. You could be running around for all of the wrong reasons. Reexamine your plan, if necessary. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, your focus may be on personal gains this week, but you might want to shift it to something else. An unforeseen opportunity awaits if you can recognize it. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, it's difficult to contain your excitement the next few days. But keep your cool so others do not start to look at you strangely. Your time to shine is coming. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 You have a secret to share, but you must wait to do so, Pisces. Do your best to avoid spilling the beans before the time has come. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard