Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/38540
Saturday, August 6, 2011 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Cyber cheating crosses Dear Annie: I have been married for 30 years and have three grown children. My hus- band served in the Navy and was away a lot of the time. Early in our mar- riage, he was gone for nine months, and during that time, he had an affair with a much younger girl. I found out about it and was heartbro- ken. But I forgave and forgot. Until recently. Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar him to continue a correspondence with a woman he had an affair with — no matter how long ago. Counsel- ing, hopefully, will help him under- stand what is at stake. Dear Annie: My husband and I have demanding careers. We work at least 60 hours per week and have lit- tle free time. The problem is my mother. I adore It seems that after 25 years, this woman looked him up on the Inter- net, and they have been correspond- ing. Annie, I am devastated. All I can think about is what happened long ago and how sick I was then — and now I am again. My husband sees nothing wrong with it, which drives me crazy. He lied and said he stopped contacting her, but I’ve seen texts, phone calls and e-mails. I don’t know what to do. Should I walk out? He says he loves only me, but how can I believe him when he continues doing this? — Sick in Salem, Ore. Dear Salem: Show your husband the evidence of his lies, and insist that he go with you for marriage counsel- ing. He may not realize how serious a breach this is because it’s in cyber- space, but it is a major betrayal for her, call her twice a week, e-mail every day and see her every weekend. We never say no when she needs something. However, Mom expects us to spend every extra moment with her. I can’t see my friends because she becomes jealous and says, ‘‘Maybe next month you’ll have time for me.’’ Vacations are the biggest problem. We are paying off huge college loans, so we tend to take ‘‘staycations.’’ We ask her not to call unless it is an emer- gency, yet she calls constantly and wants to get together. If we say no, she becomes so hurt that it causes more stress and puts a damper on the time with my husband. Mom is vibrant and healthy, has friends, exercises and does volunteer work. She has sisters who live close by and two dogs that she adores. She has a busy life, so it’s not like I am all she has to fill it. My husband and I work hard and deserve time alone without guilt. How can we get Mom to understand without hurting her feelings? — Mama’s Girl Dear Mama’s Girl: Those apron strings are tied a little tight. Your first priority is to your husband and mar- riage. Don’t feel guilty or apologize for having a social life. When you take a staycation, tell Mom to call her sisters in case of emergency, and then turn off your phones. You are a good daughter. If Mom chooses to be hurt because you are not devoting all of your free time to her, so be it. Dear Annie: Are you kidding me? ‘‘Totally Fed Up’’ said her sister- in-law, ‘‘Maureen,’’ smacked her teenage daughter when the girl stole a piece of bacon off of a drying rack. The only wrong thing Maureen did was that she smacked the wrong per- son. She should have smacked the mother for not teaching her daughter better. Where are her manners? I taught my children that they were never to take or touch something that didn’t belong to them. You ask per- mission first. Good grief. — J.P. Dear J.P. We received quite a bit of mail from readers who thought grabbing the bacon was worse than hitting the child. Granted, the child should have been reprimanded about her manners, but under no circum- stances should Maureen have hit her niece (or anyone else). Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Volunteers celebrated at Lassen Volcanic National Park From July to October, more than 130 volun- teers of all ages have donated more than 7,400 hours at Lassen Volcanic National Park. Volunteers donate their time and help with campground hosting, visitor and education activities, field surveys, non-native plant removal, historical research, clerical and library work, computer projects, photography, search and rescue, ski patrolling, maintenance, recycling and the safety program. “Volunteers are truly one of our most valued resources,” said Park Superintendent Darlene M. Koontz. More than 160 volun- teers, retirees, employ- ees, Caltrans representa- tives and Lassen Associ- ation board members participated in the park’s Volunteer Appreciation Day held at Manzanita Lake on Aug. 1. Kayaking and wildlife walks were pro- vided in the morning with a barbecue, provid- ed by the Lassen Associ- ation, and presentations followed with volunteers receiving T-shirts and certificates. “We very much appreciate our associa- tion’s generosity in sup- port of this event,” Koontz said. Noted volunteers include Ski Patrol Phil Finkel for his donation of 1,000 hours. Ski Patroller Joe Wolner and Campground hosts Steve Gibson and Lynne Hadel donated 2,000 hours. Volunteers receiving special recognition included Greg Brahms for his digital image $10 OFF BILL OF $50 OR MORE 3 AREA LOCATIONS! RED BLUFF 2001 Main Street 530-527-2684 CORNING 636 Edith Avenue 530-824-3123 WILLOWS 247 N. Humboldt Avenue 530-934-0600 One coupon per table. Dine in only. Not valid with 2 for $20 meal deal or any other discount offer. Must present and surrender coupon Monday-Thursday only, lunch or dinner. Expires 8/31/11 BILL OF $20 OR MORE $5 OFF One coupon per table. Dine in only. Not valid with 2 for $20 meal deal or any other discount offer. Must present and surrender coupon Monday-Thursday only, lunch or dinner. Expires 8/31/11 library work, Danny Diehl for his Ski Patrol activities and Rob Horn for his contributions to the snowshoe programs, back country patrol and fire lookout staffing. Walter Schlim was rec- ognized as Ski Patroller of the Year. Steve Gibson was honored as Volunteer of the Year for his excep- tional customer service and assistance with maintenance project as campground host. Gib- son has volunteered as Warner Valley Camp- ground Host since 2006. For more information about becoming a park volunteer call the Volun- teer Program Coordina- tor at (530) 595-6133, send an e-mail to lavo_volunteer@nps.go v or check out the park W ebsite: www.nps.gov/lavo. Side effects linked with cholesterol medications DEAR DR. GOTT: I read your article about statin drugs and their side effects. I have been on choles- terol medication for the last couple of years. The side effects are killing me — pain in both of my forearm muscles, calf mus- cles, and numbness in my fingers. The med- icines I was on causing the same side effects were pravastatin 20 mg and simvastatin 20 mg. My doctor suggested I reduce the dosage to 10 mg and then to 5, which hasn’t stopped my pain. He currently has me on Lipitor/atorvastatin 5 mg, but the problem persists. My recent lipid panel showed the following: cholesterol 172 HDL 33; LDL 105, triglycerides 177 and A1C 6.7. These drugs are not cheap. I can’t keep trying this and trying that, so what should I do? DEAR READER: It would certainly help me to know your medical back- ground because without a cause other than your cho- lesterol (such as cardio- vascular disease or dia- betes), your readings are within normal limits with the exception of your A1C. The American Dia- betes Association recom- mends an A1C of less than 7.0, while the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists recom- mends 6.5 or lower. The risk of heart attack increases with higher readings. Your physician appar- ently prescribed statin drugs to both lower your cholesterol levels and reduce the risk of stroke or heart attack. However, as you point out, the side effects can be mighty frus- trating, with muscle pain heading the list. Less com- mon issues include nau- sea, gas, diarrhea and con- stipation. The use of statin drugs also requires periodic blood testing to check for liver damage. Statins cause the liver to abnor- mally increase its produc- tion of enzymes. An eleva- tion could prompt your BAR SPECIALS WINE & WELL DRINKS $3 MARGARITAS $3.50 1/2 PRICE APPETIZERS HAPPY HOUR 1 month unlimited tanning Tehama Family Fitness Center only $25 We’ve added a 3rd Stand Up Unit! 2 lay down beds 3 stand up units 1 month unlimited tanning limited to 2 per customer Any Lotion only $15 Offer ends August 31 2498 South Main St., Red Bluff 528-8656 www.tehamafamilyfitness.com Dr. Peter Gott physician to recommend you stop taking the drug for a period of time until your lev- els fall within the normal range. I am con- cerned about your numb fin- gers. Are you a smoker? Could something else be going on that you are blaming statin drugs for? I suggest a complete physical examination and — if necessary — referral to a vascular specialist. I may be jumping to incor- rect conclusions, but I want you to cover all the bases in this instance. Ask your physician to switch to a non-statin drug for control of your choles- terol. Over-the-counters include products with plant sterols and stanols, cinnamon sprinkled on your food, niacin (vitamin B3), omega-3 fish oil and flaxseed. They may not be as effective as expensive prescription drugs, so it’s a matter of the risks out- weighing the benefits in this case. It’s a situation best discussed with your doctor. Readers who would like related information can order my Health Reports “Understanding Cholesterol” and “Com- pelling Home Remedies” by sending a self- addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 U.S. check or money order for each report to Dr. Peter Gott, P.O. Box 433, Lakeville, CT 06039. Be sure to mention the title(s), or print an order form from my website’s direct link: www.AskDr- GottMD.com/order_form. pdf. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. Today’s Burning Issue Anyone Can Service Swamp Coolers....Can’t They? Is it noisy? Do your doors swell from humidity? Does it leak on your roof? Have you ever had your cooler stop working in the middle of a heat wave? Residential and Commercial Evaporative coolers have been our business for over 25 years. Service, repairs, replacement and installations are handled professionally for reliable cool- ing during the hot days of summer. “You are nice. You came out right away. You solved the (cooler) problem. Your service is prompt, good, and pleasant.” Mrs. Hickle, Palo Cedro THE Chimney Professionals Chimney Sweeps 527 3331 Flue Season Mexican Restaurant MONDAY-FRIDAY 3PM-6PM