Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/315195
6 MAY 21-27, 2014 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM What the Frack? by PITT DICKEY If you liked Duke Energy's tasty coal ash spiked water, you are going to love drinking North Carolina's fracked up water. Remember Dean Wormer in Animal House and the Delta's double secret probation? N.C. now has its own Dean Halliburton who has placed N.C's water supply on double secret probation. We are going to enjoy drinking Halliburton's fracking chemicals. We just won't know what we are drinking. Welcome to the brave new world of fracking. Fasten your mutated cells, it's gonna be a bumpy flight. It's a one-sided battle — trade secrets versus public health. Frackers argue that revealing the contents of their chemical secret sauce would expose trade secrets. The enviro soreheads opposed to fracking argue that people should know what's in their ice tea. Under N.C's Republican controlled government, which side do you think is going to win? On a need-to- know basis, we don't need to know what we are drinking. Shut up and drink up. In 2012, to make our little corner of the world safe for secret fracking chemicals, the N.C. General Assembly created the new improved N.C. Mining & Energy Commission or the MEC, pronounced to rhyme with Yecchh. The job of the MEC is to develop a protective embryonic fetal financial sac to allow Frackers to frack for fun and profit in North Carolina. Our old buddies Halliburton and Koch Industries both sell chemicals and various products used to pump secret sauce into the ground to frack out natural gas. Coincidentally, they are both represented by the same lobbyist, a gentleman named Bo Heath. Bo is a convivial kind of guy. He likes to eat in nice restaurants and talk about fracking. According to a recent AP article, Bo is very good at his job. In May 2013 the MEC had proposed some rules that would have required a limited amount of disclosure of the secret sauce the Frackers want to pump. The Chairdude of the MEC, Jim Womack, pulled the proposed rules right before the MEC's meeting to vote on them. Coincidentally, Jim's retraction of the rules came after he spoke with a Halliburton executive. Quoteth Jim, "They indicated to me in a phone conversation that there may be other options than what was written in the rule." Yeah, like no disclosure of the secret sauce instead of just a little disclosure. It turns out that Jim met lobbyist Bo two times for meals. Jim said Bo wanted to talk about the chemical disclosure. Some soreheads might think that the Chairdude of the MEC meeting at a secure undisclosed location with the Fracker's lobbyist to discuss preventing the disclosure of the chemicals to be pumped into N.C.'s ground might look a bit suspicious. Nothing could be further from the truth. Jim proudly announced that "Both times, I picked up the tab." See, N.C.'s clean water can't be purchased for a couple of meals in Sanford. The price may be considerably higher for the schlubs in N.C. who can't afford to buy and bathe in bottled water after the Frackers hit the ground running. But who cares? Another MEC commissioner, Vik Rao, worked for Halliburton for 9 years himself. Vik allowed to the AP that he had spoken briefly to Bo at a restaurant when he bumped into him by coincidence. How fortunate for the Frackers that Bo keeps bumping into MEC commissioners at eateries. Another MEC commissioner, George Howard, had two meetings with Bo, one of which was calendared as "Beer with Bo." Lobbyists and MEC Commissioners do not live by bread alone, but also by Bo's beer. It is unclear who picked up the beer tab. Bo may not be able to turn water into wine, but he may well be able to turn North Carolina's water into a secret sauce of frack juice. Unfortunately for the Frackers, the witches in MacBeth have already revealed the secret fracking chemicals. Their formula is: "Double, double, toil and trouble: fire burn, and cauldron bubble/ Round the caldron go/ In the poison'd entrails throw/ Swelter'd venom sleeping got/ Boil thou first in the charmed pot/ Eye of newt, and toe of frog/ Wool of bat, and tongue of dog/ Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting/ Lizard's leg and owlet's wing/ For a charm of powerful trouble/ Like a hell-broth boil and bubble/ Add thereto a tiger's chaudron/ For the ingredients of our caldron." Drink up me hearties! Clean water, we hardly knew ye. You never miss the water till the well catches fire. PITT DICKEY, Attorney, Contribut- ing Writer. COMMENTS? Editor@ upandcomingweekly.com. Jim Womack, N.C. Mining and Energy Commission GRAND PRIZE-2014 Toyota Scion xD Donated by Rick Hendrick Toyota Scion - Jeff Windom 2nd PRIZE-65" Flat Screen TV Donated by Wal-Mart Distribution - Willie McKoy Jr. 3rd PRIZE-European Day Spa Package Donated by the Renaissance Day Spa - Fred & Nona Fisher 4th PRIZE 1 Year Membership to the Spa Fitness Center - Dalton & Patrice Carter 5th PRIZE - 2 Night Getaway by Home2 Suites By Hilton - Jackie Kubinski Corporate Duck Plunge Winner - Dorothy's Catering Kidsville News! Duck Coloring Contest Winner - Anna Childers from Alma Easom Elementary Honorable Mentions - Ninoshka Tjohajong from Lucile Souders Elementary Madison Shaffer from Cumberland Mills Elementary Top Nonprofit With The Most Duck Adoptions Special Olympics - 2 years in a row! Top Selling School - J.W. Coon (Principal Blanton) FAYETTEVILLE URBAN MINISTRIES CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2014 FAYETTEVILLE DUCK DERBY WINNERS! SPECIAL THANKS TO: The 20 Local Non-Profit Organizations, Dogwood Festival, Cumberland County Schools, Dr. Frank Till, Chief Medlock & Fayetteville Police Department, Mayor Nat Robertson, Two Men And A Truck, Decker's Automotive, Fayetteville Urban Ministry Board of Directors, The Re- store Warehouse on Forsythe St, Wal-Mart Distribution, The Spa Fitness Center, The Renais- sance Day Spa, Home2 Suites by Hilton, Duck Derby Co-Chairs Lynne B. Greene- (President of Highland Lumber) & James Wilson, Fayetteville State Youth Entrepreneurship Program "Lemonade Day", Saare White, Calvin Gilmore, Link Campbell, Lt. Daniel Belton, Ready Haul Trucking, Inc., Roddale Wynn and all of our Volunteers MARQUEE DUCKBILL: TOP BILL: Cumberland County Tourism Development Authority Cumulus Broadcasting LUCKY DUCK: Bounce TV • Univision 40 THE HAPPY QUACKER: Array Magazine • Cape Fear Orthopedics • The Fayetteville Observer The Re-Store Warehouse on Forsythe Street • Wells Fargo THE LITTLE QUACKER: BB&T • Cape Fear Eye Associates, Dr. Riggins • Dorothy's 2 Fayetteville Area Plumbing Contractors Association • Kidsville News! Public Works Commission • St. Joseph of the Pines LIFE • Up and Coming Weekly THE HUNDRED DUCKIES: BJ's Membership Club • Eaton Corp. • EHC Environmental • Extended Reach Highland Lumber Company • Lamarr Johnson & Associates Pennsylvania Lumberman Mutual • Piedmont Natural Gas • TRP CPS • W.A. Bissette Interested in helping plan next year's event? Fayettevilleduckderby@gmail.com