Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/295983
APRIL 16-22, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Watching Paint Dry I've been dating a girl I really like for six weekly. She pays her rent with a 9-to- 5 job but studied painting and wants to make it her career. Unfortunately, I don't like her paintings. They are abstract and don't look like they take much craft, and they just don't aesthetically appeal to me. I haven't told her my real feelings. But as we get more serious and as she talks about her aspirations, I'm finding it more and more uncomfortable to keep playing along. I worry that we won't have a future because of this. — Philistine There are questions you long to ask her about her work, such as, "What did you do in art school, spend four years playing Angry Birds on your phone?" Abstract art is an easy target for ridicule. The thing is, somebody who went to art school most likely had to learn formal principles and show they could draw figuratively before they could venture into abstraction. But to the untrained eye, an abstract work can look like somebody made a big mess with some paint and then stuck a mythical title on it. Because your girlfriend's artwork is more than a weekend hobby, your disliking it probably is a big deal. A painting is basically a striptease of the artist's self on a piece of canvas, reflecting who they are, what they see and feel and what they want to say. Also, it's hard enough to try to earn a living as an artist without sharing a bed with one of your detractors. And even if you can hide your true feelings for a while, there's a good chance they'll poke their little heads out during an argument, a la "Wanna vastly improve your work? Incorporate gasoline and a lit match." For a relationship to work, it isn't enough to have the hotsies for somebody. You need to have a crush on them as a human being. Fortunately, you may be able to get to this, even if her paintings don't speak to you (save for saying "I'm ugly"). Admit that you don't know much about art, and ask her to tell you about her work: the thinking behind it, her painting process (color, form, why she includes certain elements), and what she's trying to say or evoke. You might find that you respect where she's coming from and believe in her on that level, which could mean that the two of you can make a go of it. If so, keep in mind all the ways she's just like any other girlfriend, and be prepared to fake a seizure when she asks the artist's version of that classic lose-lose question: "Do I look untalented while painting in this dress that makes me look fat?" . WEEKLY HOROSCOPES by HOliday ARIES (March 21-April 19). People who don't know how to have fun by themselves don't know how to have fun with others. You'll delight in your time alone and later bring a playful sensibility to your social interactions. TAURUS (April 20-May 20). Are you ready to leap, lunge or duck? Being able to react with a range of motion, both literally and figuratively, will give you an advantage on this fast-paced day. GEMINI (May 21-June 21). You long for a time when you can say that everything you own is in good working order and is in its proper place. Such a high level of organization may or may not happen, and luckily your success does not depend on this. CANCER (June 22-July 22). When your subject knows what you want and is resistant to giving it to you, this person has yet to understand the personal benefit of saying yes (if indeed there is one). Point the way. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Spell out what you want to do. Communicate slowly and clearly, assuming nothing. Do not execute your plan until the others involved know and understand what your plan is. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Where others see a lost cause, you see the potential for a real winner. Though there are many steps involved in taking an endeavor from "zero" to "hero," if it's a labor of love, it will be a joy and not a long, arduous process. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You'll work efficiently to get it done, get it right and get it out. Though you may not care who gets the credit, taking your fair share of this will be important to your future work. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). There are times when you've craved the cozy comfort of a familiar relationship, but today you'll set your sights on something unexpected, interesting and even a little dangerous. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You only have to talk with someone for a few minutes to understand where the person is coming from. That's why it drives you crazy when a loved one doesn't seem to have the same "people smarts." CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You're unsure whether the other party is thinking along the same lines as you or will be amenable to your suggestions. Take the risk and find out. Say what you plan to do and see what happens. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Building rapport will be tricky business, but if you do it well, you'll get a prize. Hint: It doesn't always serve you to express your preferences and dislikes to those who may not agree with them. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Purpose and tenacity are your cosmic gifts, but they come with a caveat: You must use them on your own behalf, or you will later wonder why on earth you didn't. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD "The trucks full of paperwork come every day," wrote The Washington Post in March, down a country road in Boyers, Pa., north of Pittsburgh, and descend "into the earth" to deliver federal retiree applications to the eight "supermarket"-sized caverns 230 feet below ground where Office of Personnel Management bureaucrats process them — manually — and store them in 28,000 metal filing cabinets. Applications thus take 61 days on average to process (compared to Texas' automated system, which takes two). One step requires a record's index to be digitized — but a later step requires that the digital portion be printed out for further manila-foldered file work. OPM blames contractors' technology failures and bizarrely complicated retirement laws, but no relief is in sight except the hiring of more workers (and fortunately, cave-bound paper-shuffling is a well-regarded job around Boyers). [Washington Post, 3-22-2014] The Continuing Crisis In February, officials in Sudan seized at least 70 female sheep that had male sexual organs sewn on — the result of livestock smugglers trying to circumvent export restrictions. (Ewes are valued more highly, and their sale is limited.) Authorities had been treating the inspections as routine until they spotted one "ram" urinating from the female posture. [BBC News, 2-10-2014] Karma: Michael Schell, 24, and Jessica Briggs, 31, were arrested on several charges in Minot, N.D., in February when police were called to a convenience store because Schell and Briggs had commandeered a restroom and were having noisy sex. The store is part of the Iowa-based chain of 400 serving the Midwest that go by the name Kum & Go. [Minot Daily News, 2-12-2014] Democracy Blues U.S. Rep. Robert Andrews announced his retirement in February, after 23 years of representing his New Jersey district, and in "tribute," The Washington Post suggested he might be the least successful lawmaker of the past two decades, in that he had sponsored a total of 646 pieces of legislation — more than any of his contemporaries — but that not a single one became law. [Washington Post, 2-4-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard By Holiday Mathis