Issue link: http://www.epageflip.net/i/16307
Wednesday, September 15, 2010 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES In-law’s infant invites incessant Dear Annie: My husband and I have a year-old baby boy. He is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to us. However, my hus- band’s family almost makes me regret having a child. His stepmom say anything that might upset her. I am actually scared that she may try to take our child. Am I overreacting? — Waiting for Disas- ter Annie’s didn’t like me before I got preg- nant, but as soon as I gave birth, there was a complete turnaround. She is obsessed with babies. I wanted my husband’s fam- ily to be a part of my son’s life, so I allowed her to get closer, but the situation has become ridiculous. We visit once a week, Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Dear Waiting: Stepmom isn’t likely to kidnap your baby, but like some obsessed grandparents, she would love to dis- but she constantly bugs us to bring the baby over more often. She keeps ask- ing to be alone with him. She repeatedly tells me that my husband and I need a romantic getaway and we should let her babysit. She even jokes about kidnap- ping him, which I really don’t appreciate. Her latest request was to take him on a vacation with her family, without us. I am a stay-at-home mom and have no need for a babysitter. On the week- ends, my husband wants to be only with us. Her demands to have the baby are really bothering me. I don’t understand why she wants to be alone with my child, but my husband doesn’t want either of us to place you as the object of your child’s affection. That isn’t going to happen, so stop worrying about it. Your baby is too young to go on vacation without you, and you should say so. When she demands that the child be brought over more often, reply as sweetly as possible, ‘‘We can’t man- age that, but we’ll try to see you on Sunday.’’ Repeat as needed, and ignore the rest. Her behavior is irritating, but not threatening. Rest assured, as your baby gets older, her fixation will lessen. Dear Annie: Whenever my husband writes, he mixes uppercase and low- ercase letters within his words. I have explained that it makes him look une- ducated, but he disagrees. I am embarrassed for him. His writing is seen by many people in his office, as well as by clients. I am hoping that if he sees this in print, he may pay atten- tion. — To Cap or Not To Cap Dear Cap: It is correct to capitalize only the first letter of a sentence and to leave the remaining letters in lowercase. However, with all the texting and e- mail these days, few peo- ple care about proper sen- tence structure. And there is some degree of personal preference allowed in handwriting. We’d leave this alone. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Worried Mom in the Midwest,’’ whose son thinks a ‘‘D’’ is an OK grade. Your advice for him to get a job or travel is right on. I, too, was OK with D’s in high school. In fact, my motto was: ‘‘D’’ equals Diploma. I worked a retail job for several years after high school before I fig- ured out what I wanted to do with my life. To get there, I needed a degree. I am now in my third year of college as a full-time stu- dent and am on the Dean’s List. I simply needed time to grow up and set my own goals. College may never be something her son wants to do, and that should be accepted. Many well-pay- ing jobs do not require a college education. I have seen too many of my fel- low students drop out or get kicked out of college because Mom or Dad pushed them into attend- ing. ‘‘Worried’’ should ask her son what his goals are instead of picking his career for him. — Hobart, Ind. Fighting oral cancer DEAR DR. GOTT: I follow your column in our local paper religiously, and your “No Flour-No Sugar” plan has made a big difference in the hypo- glycemia condition that I seem to be prone to. Sadly, I don’t stick to it nearly often enough. More specifically, I am 65 and probably an alcoholic — the result of a lifetime of bad choices and a couple of bad marriages. I live (by choice) in a fairly remote part of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, where medical advice is hard to come by. I also have a history of oral cancer, despite not having smoked for more than 20 years. The only ENT doc available to me has decided that the “cut it out and biopsy it” approach every three months or so is the proper one. While I quite understand that his approach is the most conservative one, I am barely healed up by the time I need to go see him again. A second opinion is not available to me up here, and I am truly miserable for the time it takes for my mouth to heal. Do you have any suggestions on an alternative approach? DEAR READER: I was immediate- ly struck by your straightforward, no- nonsense summation. It is both healthful and refreshing. Let’s take things a step at a time. My approach to weight loss expects that you might falter. That’s the beau- ty of it. If you choose to go out for a great pasta dinner, do it. There shouldn’t be any guilt involved, but simply a wish to diversify briefly. You can get back on track and take up where your diet left off. Unfortunate- ly, pounds have a way of creeping back on rather quickly, so it’s impor- tant you don’t splurge too often. If you think you “may be” an alco- holic, you probably are. People often Dr. Peter Gott feel they are stuck in a rut. It becomes quite easy to pick up a drink in an attempt to pass the day rather than think of taking a walk, sketching in a book, going bowling or play- ing a game of solitaire. How- ever, even in remote areas of the country, there are AA meetings and support groups available if you are truly moti- vated. Oral cancer can form in any part of the mouth. The risk of acquir- ing it increases with tobacco use, the consumption of alcohol, in males over the age of 40, for those with a family history; for those with HIV and those exposed to radiation. A dentist may choose to perform a painless oral brush biopsy that involves taking a sample of tissue for analysis. If the tissue remains suspi- cious, a scalpel biopsy may be per- formed under local anesthesia that can be performed by a dentist or special- ist. A surgeon may believe the best method of control is through surgery, such as you have had, perhaps fol- lowed by radiation, chemotherapy or a combination thereof. Present these options to your sur- geon or dentist for his or her review. If you disagree with what you are told, locate the nearest teaching hospital, make an appointment, get a second opinion and carry on from there. You’ve made it clear this will be an imposition because of your location, but you owe it to yourself. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. HOME SERVICES DIRECTORY 7900 Runs Every Monday - Wednesday - Friday $ $ with a 3 month commitment Blinds Need Blinds? C A L L P A U L Paul Stubbs Blinds & Draperies www.nsbd.biz Lic.#906022 Handyman Help for Seniors & Singles “Let me help you with the small repairs to keep your home running smoothly” 527-2288 Home Repairs At Very Reasonable Rates Call Richard at Recyling J.W. Sides Recyling New hours starting July 1st Tues. thru Sat. 8am to 4pm Sats only $1.65 lb. for CRV Alum cans Buy - Copper - Brass- Alum. & Scrap Alum. 530-527-7041 11475 Hwy 99W Red Bluff 527-0842 North State Building Construction R. G. 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