Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/92214
Wednesday, November 7, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Gal finds herself one of three sharing man boyfriend lives with a woman who gave birth to his child. He says it is not a romantic arrangement. She wanted to get pregnant, and he provided the genetic material. He sleeps on the sofa. Dear Annie: My wants to spend time with this kid, the mother must always be present. She also isn't aware that he is dating me, and we've been togeth- er for two years. He is divorced, and his ex-wife and other children don't know about this child. He expects me to keep his secret, stay away from the birth mother and be fine with all of this — even when overnight trips are planned. I will never be fine with this. He says I should trust him. But, Annie, I just can't wrap my head around why I should blindly accept this. Am I wrong? — Third Wheel Dear Third: Your boyfriend is juggling three separate lives: one with you, one with his ex-wife and children, and another with his ''secret'' child and the biological mother. We can think of no good reason for this man to be living with another woman unless he has made a commitment to her in addition to his child. He can support the child emotionally and financially without sleeping on her sofa. My issue is, when he It is not your place to inform his Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ex-wife or his other children about his arrangement. However, we think he is having a romantic relation- ship with the woman he lives with, and you are his sideline. What you do about that is up to you. Dear Annie: I am 17 years old, and I have cizes my driving and puts me down. She also calls me a lot of names and says hurtful things. We even got into a physical fight. I've told my parents that she is rude and I am not inclined to do anything for her. But my parents won't get involved. They never pun- ish her, and she gets away with everything. In fact, they just bought her a new computer. I don't know what to do any- more. I can't wait until I leave for college and won't have to deal with her. Is that wrong? What should I do? — Frustrated Sister Dear Frustrated: We under- stand that your little sister is driving you nuts. This is not uncommon with younger siblings. We suggest you be the adult. Don't let her ruffle you. Ignore her barbs and criti- cisms, which are intended to pro- voke a response and get your atten- tion. When you need to vent, talk to younger sister who is 13. Her attitude is awful. I have to drive her to school every day, and we always get into fights. She constantly criti- a ety Program & Field Trip activities for November are as follows: November Program - The Big Texas Trip - Mon- day, Nov. 19, 6:30 p.m., Chico Creek Nature Center. Local Altacal trip leaders Mike Fisher, Nancy Nelson, Maurico Schrader, Raina King and Steve King will share highlights of their six week, 8,000 mile, birding adventure from Chico to High Island Texas and back during April and May, with lots of stops in Arizona and New Mexico. The collective number of species seen on the trip was about 450 with one trip member adding 150 birds to his/her life list! Come find out what rare birds they found and which ones got away. Field Trips • Nov. 10, Saturday - Second Saturday - Chico Oxiodation Ponds Wildlife Sanctuary. For the month of November Second Satur- day, let's visit the Oxidation Ponds, at the Waste Water Treatment Plant west of Chico. For waterfowl in the winter, and only four miles from Chico, this place is hard to beat. The walk planned around some of the ponds is a little under two miles. If you prefer to keep the walk shorter, you can just walk out to the viewing blind, enjoy the birds from the blind and shorten the walk to about a mile round trip by not walking around the ponds. The walk is flat and graveled to the viewing blind. It can be a little muddy in places if it has rained. Most all of our win- ter waterfowl should be back in the area by Novem- ber. Ponds Wildlife Sanctuary at 2 p.m. Walking in the after- noon keeps the sun mostly at our back and the temper- atures warmer. We should be back to the parking lot around 5 p.m. To get to there, go west on W. 5th Street from Hwy 32 in Meet at the Oxidation Butte Humane Society offers pet photos with Santa Society's annual Pet Photos with Santa fundraising event with portraits taken by Jocey Shannon Photogra- phy at Nantucket Home, 603 Broadway St. Two sessions will be held from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on "Santa Claws" is coming to Chico for Butte Humane Saturday, Nov. 10 and Saturday, Nov. 17. No appointment is necessary, and no fee is due at the your school counselor, best friend, favorite teacher or a sympathetic relative. But please remember that when your sister outgrows this immature stage, she could become your closest friend. Hang in there. to ''Joe's Buddies for Life,'' whose 50-year-old friend is still trying to realize a dream. Dear Annie: This is in response I spent my career as a high school guidance counselor. Many times, kids would have plans to play sports in college as a means of pay- ing for their degree. My advice to them was to go to the coach for an honest assessment of their skills. ''Joe'' needs to do the same thing. He needs to find someone who can give him a true assessment of his talents in his chosen field. He may need some moral support to face this evaluation. He will not be at all agreeable to considering another career until he faces the reality of his chances for success in his dream career. — That First Step Is a Hard One Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Audubon Society activities for November Altacal Audubon Soci- Chico. Follow West 5th Street, which becomes Chico River Rd, for 3.9 miles. The wildlife viewing parking area is 300 yards past the main entrance to the water treatment plant, on the left. Bring binoculars, spotting scopes, water, walking shoes and proper clothing for the expected weather conditions. There is a chemical toilet on the way out to the viewing blind. Rain cancels. For informa- tion: Steve King at 530-566- 6136. • Nov. 25, Sunday - The Great Fly Out - Colusa National Wildlife Refuge. This year's Great Fly-Out field trip will be held at Colusa National Wildlife Refuge. The 4507-acre refuge is the winter home to over 20,000 ducks and 50,000 geese. What's so spectacular about a fly-out is at dusk thousands upon thousands of these water- fowl rise from the ponds around Colusa NWR and fly to nearby fields to feed at night. As the sky fills with birds, the sound of their wing beats and calls is incredible and something you won't want to miss. Meet at the Chico Park & Ride on Hwy 32 (nearest Hwy 99) at 2 p.m. We'll carpool to Colusa NWR and if there is enough time we'll take a short hike down their 1-mile Discovery trail. Colusa is accessible for peo- ple with disabilities. Restroom, designated park- ing areas, and a universally accessible viewing platform are available. Bring your folding chair, hot chocolate, warm clothing, binoculars, and field guide. Heavy rain cancels. For more informa- tion and to sign up please call or email trip leader Jen- nifer Patten, 345-9356, jpchico@sbcglobal.net. All programs and activi- ties are free of cost unless otherwise indicated and are open to the public. For more information, call 530-519- 4724 or send an email to wba@acm.org. TOR K: I'm a young woman recently diagnosed with genital her- pes. The doctor says there's no cure. Can you give me some advice on how to live with this condi- tion? DEAR DOC- ER: I'd like to have a word or two with your doctor. Genital herpes is definitely a problem and not to be minimized, but the words "no cure" make it sound almost fatal. Genital herpes is a sex- ually transmitted infection caused by the herpes sim- plex virus (HSV). What your doctor meant to say is that this virus can never be completely eradicated from your body — either by your immune system or by medicines. The virus continues to live "asleep" inside cells in your genital area. Now and then it reawakens, starts to multi- ply and causes recurrent symptoms. DEAR READ- ally begin as small white blisters in the genital and anal area. These turn into wet ulcers, or sores, when the blisters break. With time, the skin heals over the affected area. But the virus remains in the body. (There's an illustration of what a her- pes outbreak looks like on my website, AskDoc- torK.com.) Herpes outbreaks usu- 3B Antivirals reduce genital herpes attacks Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. partners. So now that you have been diagnosed, focus on three priorities. The first is treatment to reduce the severity and frequency of your outbreaks. Talk to your doctor about whether your recurrent attacks are frequent enough to try taking a daily antiviral drug. Another option to discuss is having the antiviral drug with you at all times, taking it at the very first sign of a new attack. of your symp- toms. If you have severe or frequent outbreaks, a daily antiviral medica- tion may help reduce the number of attacks that you have. Taking a daily antiviral might also reduce the risk of infect- ing any sexual ity is to prevent infecting a sexual partner. Specifical- ly: The second prior- The virus spreads through skin-to-skin con- tact, including vaginal, oral or anal intercourse. A pregnant woman with an HSV infection can pass the virus to her baby dur- ing vaginal delivery. When I was in medical school, there was no way of treating genital herpes outbreaks and no way of reducing the number of recurrent attacks. Fortu- nately, medical research led to the development of potent antiviral medicines. These include valacy- clovir (Valtrex), famci- clovir (Famvir) and acy- clovir (Zovirax). Antiviral medications can reduce the severity and shorten the duration activity when you have visible blisters or ulcers. This is when you are most likely to transmit the infection. — Make sure your partner uses a condom during sexual activity. The third priority is to protect your baby if you become pregnant. If you do, be sure you let your obstetrician know about your past genital herpes infections, even if you are not having any herpes attacks during the preg- nancy. One option to dis- cuss is whether to take antivirals for the last few weeks of your pregnancy. Also, if you have visible ulcers at the time of deliv- ery, your doctor will prob- ably encourage you to have a C-section to pre- vent the herpes virus from spreading to your new- born. — Abstain from sexual Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. CSU on the road for North State conversations event. Sittings are first-come, first-serve, so be prepared for a wait - outside seating and hot cider will be pro- vided. All species of friendly pets are welcome, but pets must be secured on leash or in carriers. No outside photography is allowed. The photographer is volunteering her time at the events and donating 80 percent of proceeds to Butte Humane Society. Butte Humane Society will provide a bin of holiday pet accessories that you may borrow to dress up your pet for their portrait. For more information on Pet Photos with Santa and other holiday fundraising programs for Butte Humane Society, visit www.buttehumane.org. Marine Corps Ball The Tehama County Marine Corps League 1140 Birthday Ball is set for Friday, Nov. 9, at the Elks Lodge, 355 Gilmore Road, in Red Bluff. The event begins with a no-host cocktail at 5 p.m. and dinner at 6:30 p.m. with a choice of New York Steak, New York Steak and Prawns (2), Chicken Cor- donblue or Prawns (6). Tickets are $35 and include an etched wine glass and complimentary wine. The evening includes dancing, door prizes, and drawing for the gun. Raffle tickets will be avail- able at the door. Everyone is welcome. For tickets call MCL-1140 at 625-1140 or Bertha Morreira at 585-2225. Beginning this week, representatives from the CSU, Chico North State Initiative Task Force will begin visiting the 12 counties in the Universi- ty's service area for a series of informal conver- sations to explore ways to strengthen the North State. largest area of any CSU campus: 12 counties, 32,000 square miles, about 21 percent of the state—much of it rural. Building on the long tradition of serving the North State and in recog- nition of our 125th anniversary, CSU, Chico President Paul Zingg launched the North State Initiative Task Force to "broadly focus on serv- ing the North State through the arts, research, civic engage- ment and service learn- ing, increasing the col- lege-going population, and improving the health and well-being of North State residents." CSU, Chico serves the Beginning with Modoc, Siskiyou, and Trinity counties on Nov. 5 and 6, members of the task force will sit down with residents to listen, learn, and explore ways to foster partnerships to serve the region and its residents. Maggie Payne, interim dean of the CSU, Chico College of Communica- tion and Education, and Debra Barger, dean of CSU, Chico Regional and Continuing Education and chair of the North State Initiative Task Force, will be on hand for these ini- tial sessions. The conversations will provide an opportunity for the University to hear about success stories, innovations and initiatives already under way throughout the region, ones that may not make headlines but that make a difference. "This is one small way for us to build connec- tions and relationships with our neighbors in the Take your game to the next level with this sport specific training camp! 2 Camps Gain speed, coordination, agility, and power in this 4 week camp! Camp1 Dates: Nov. 27th - Dec. 20th Camp 2 Dates: Jan. 29th-Feb. 22th Days: Tues., Thurs. Time: 4-5pm Location: Tehama Family Fitness Center Gymnasium Instructed by: Strength and Conditioning Specialist Troy Lalaguna Cost $ 90 per Camp or $ 150 for Both and Division 1 Softball Player and Coach Aubrie Stroman 2498 South Main St, Red Bluff • 528-8656 www.tehamafamilyfitness.com region, as well as between counties and organiza- tions," said Barger. tiative aims to help the University reaffirm its role in our region and to explore ways in which we can be even more valuable to our neighbors who count on us," says Zingg. "This task force will help us to look at our ori- entations and achieve- ments from the perspec- tive of the public and other external con- stituents. It will help us look at ourselves from the 'outside in' not just from the 'inside in.' " "The North State Ini- Meeting dates in the remaining counties are currently being sched- uled. For more information about the conversations or about the North State Initiative, please contact Debra Barger, North State Initiative Task Force chairwoman at 530-898-6105, dbarg- er@csuchico.edu. Community Clip? e-mail: clerk@red- bluffdailynews.com or Fax: 527-9251 Softball Fusion Baseball