Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/804858
Iwasremindedofwhat is really important in life a few weeks back when Bil- lie and I trav- elled to the Men- docino Coast and rented a home overlook- ing the Pacific Ocean with our daughter, her husband and our grandsons. The trip was one of those last-minute spur of the mo- ment deals. We left early on a Thursday morning in a two- car caravan, taking Highway 20 around Clear Lake. When we reached Ukiah, we headed over the hill to Booneville. There the lady who gives you directions on the iPhone sug- gested we take a short cut to the coast. We headed over the moun- tain on what appeared to be a covered wagon trail. I think we passed the site where they filmed "Deliverance", but by the grace of God we somehow ended up on the Mendocino coast. When we pulled up to our getaway home, we were pleased to see that the Pacific Ocean was only a few hundred meters away. We clambered up the front stairs, dragging far too much luggage for a two- night stay. We were pleased to find a couple three bedrooms and a loft that would more than accommodate the Corne- lius/Brimhall motley crew. There was a sign on the wall asking that we turn the porch light off early each night, as the neighbors complain that the light keeps them awake; my kind of neighbors indeed. After settling in, I headed to the living room with a plan to enjoy watching golf on television, to be followed by a Golden State Warrior game. Sadly, after frantically looking everywhere, includ- ing under the couch, I discov- ered that this was likely the only house in America that was not equipped with a tele- vision. Even more sadly, that was only a sign of things to come. After throwing a collective family tantrum, all six of us decided that we would make the best of a bad situation by turning to our next best enter- tainment option: our iPhones, his-phones and her-phones. That's when we discovered that not only did the home not have wi-fi; it didn't even have cell service. No television, no Facebook, no Twitter, no e- mail, no Snap — what in the world would we do? I suspect our collective primal scream registered at least 2.0 on the Richter scale. After a heated debate about whether we should load up and return to the civilized world, we decided to tough it out and make the best of what was quickly turning out to be a bad situation. With no television to watch or games to play on our iPads, the boys and I decided to en- joy a soak in the hot tub that was sitting on a deck with a breathtaking view of the Pa- cific Ocean. We climbed in, only to discover that only two of about fifty jets actually worked; and it didn't take long before we realized that the last time chlorine was added to the spa was likely in the 20th cen- tury. Out of the tub we came. By this time we were all hungry for dinner. Cori placed a large container of lasagna in the microwave, only to have the microwave handle come off in her hand. Of course it did. Someone found a deck of cards, and we began playing a game called Three-Thirteen, which is slightly less sophis- ticated than the challenging game of Go Fish. Billie won two of the three games we played, telling you all you need to know about the intellect needed to succeed at Three- Thirteen. Youngest grandson Tait asked if I might teach him and his brother the manly game of poker. The three of us played poker throughout the week- end, and the only time I let them win was when Wyatt had lost so many hands that he was left wearing nothing but boxers and socks. When it was finally time to get a little shuteye, we duti- fully turned off the porch light so as not to disturb our light- sensitive neighbors — only to be blasted out of our collec- tive sleep by those very same light-sensitive neighbors who were obviously having a party. The guest list appeared to be made up mostly of members of the Hell's Angels and for- mer employees of the Mustang Ranch. It is anybody's guess how they got that cannon up the stairs and on the deck that overlooked my bedroom. Sans currently preferred en- tertainment devices, we spent three days on the coast doing what our parents and grand- parents had likely done a long time ago. We walked on the beach and played in the ocean. We let the sand ooze through our toes. We walked for miles and miles with the only sign of the modern world being a drone hovering above; it had seemingly appeared out of no- where. We visited a lighthouse, taking its tour, and learned of shipwrecks so very long ago. We visited the wharf and slurped down the best clam chowder I have ever tasted. Without question, the high- light of our trip was the puz- zle. We found our puzzle in a closet. It was comprised of 1,400 remarkably similar pieces that, when completed, revealed the Pacific Ocean full of whales, dolphins, surf and sand. The puzzle was difficult, and anytime one or two or three of us had a free mo- ment we painstakingly poured through puzzle pieces to add another piece to our board. The cool thing about working on our puzzle to- gether was that it allowed us — for the first time I can re- member — the uninterrupted opportunity to communicate with each other for hours and hours and hours. We talked about anything and every- thing, and surprisingly every single one of us seemed to en- joy the experience. We finished our puzzle on the morning we departed for home, but were mildly disap- pointed to find that we were actually missing the final piece of the puzzle. A few days later Billie was doing laundry and surprise, surprise, that fi- nal piece of our puzzle tum- bled out of a towel. We are truly blessed. •••• Check out the State Theatre Seat Sponsorship program at www.statetheatreredbluff.com. BillCorneliusisalifelong resident of Red Bluff, a retired Chief Probation Officer, a champion of the State Theatre and an exceptional athlete. He can be reached at bill. cornelius@sbcglobal.net. WilliamTells Traveling back in time Cartoonist's take It was probably worse for the Transportation Security Ad- ministration officer than it was for me. Maybe I'd bet- ter explain. I recently had the misfortune of experiencing the TSA's recently en- hanced pat-down procedure. According to ABC News, you see, an audit by the Department of Homeland Security determined that TSA officers failed 95 percent of air- port security tests in which un- dercover agents snuck mock ex- plosives and banned weapons right by them. As a result, the TSA modified its screening procedures. Offi- cers used to have five pat-down types to choose from — five de- grees of thoroughness, in a manner of speaking — but now they have one. And, boy, is it invasive. As I attempted to board a flight in San Antonio, Texas, my computer bag was flagged by the X-ray machine. The TSA of- ficers pulled me aside for "spe- cial screening." Three officers rooted through my computer and carry-on bags like crack addicts looking for change. A fourth snapped on a fresh pair of white plastic gloves and began working me over like I was a side of Kobe beef. I tried to maintain my com- posure, but "no means no" had zero effect. "Don't touch my junk" fell on equally deaf ears. Now, I can empathize with the poor fellow who was doing my screening. It's not his fault that religious fanatics are driv- ing cars into innocent crowds, shooting co-workers at Christ- mas parties and attempting to hide explosives in their skivvies so they can blow our planes out of the sky. But how do I, a freckle-faced fellow with a hint of Jame- son on his breath — I don't en- joy flying and the hooch calms me — fit the profile of the fanat- ics hoping to commit these hor- rific acts? I don't. Neither do the little old grannies or nuns or countless other people who must now go through overly invasive pat- downs when their baggage sets off the X-ray machine. I understand the process is even worse for women. Because they have more undergarments — and more places to conceal explosives — they're being pat- ted down in a manner that used to require dinner and a show. In a saner world, we would make a couple of key changes to end this pat-down madness. First, we could modernize the dated technology most air- ports are still using. "The machines the TSA is us- ing at Ronald Reagan Washing- ton National Airport to scan carry-ons at checkpoints are nearly a decade old, and the practice of X-raying a bag goes back far longer," reports CBS News. Three-dimensional CT scan- ning technology, commonly used in the medical industry, "can detect explosives in lap- tops, liquids and gels, which means the days of having to take things out of your carry-on bag could be numbered," says CBS News. So why aren't we using it? Second, why aren't we using better screening processes as practiced in Israel? Despite considerable threats, Israel boasts some of the safest airports in the world — with- out groping millions of inno- cent people. Here's why: Israel's security people are highly trained. They conduct multiple checkpoints and screenings before you enter the gate. And they profile. Profiling does not mean "ste- reotyping by skin color or na- tionality," either. It means that highly skilled agents are contin- uously assessing behavior and any oddities. These processes are extremely effective. Why are we afraid to do something that sensible? Because we're afraid of of- fending people who keep telling us they want to blow our planes out of the sky? All I know is that the next time you fly, there's one thing you'd better be prepared to leave at home. Your dignity. Tom Purcell, author of "Misadventures of a 1970s Childhood" and "Wicked Is the Whiskey," a Sean McClanahan mystery novel, both available at Amazon.com, is a Pittsburgh Tribune-Review humor Tom Purcell With TSA, indignity security's price We climbed in, only to discover that only two of about fifty jets actually worked; and it didn't take long before we realized that the last time chlorine was added to the spa was likely in the 20th century. ChipThompson, Editor How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@ redbluffdailynews.com Fax: 530-527-9251 Mail to: Daily News 728Main St., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS Bill Cornelius Tom Purcell In the three decades that I've been writing about immigra- tion, activists have held dozens of national demonstrations and hundreds of local protests. The theme is always the same: im- migrants' rights must be pro- tected, and in the name of jus- tice, amnesty must be granted. Some of the demonstrations have been impressive like ones in 2006 where millions showed up nationwide, includ- ing 500,000 in Los Angeles, to demand amnesty. But Congress rejected amnesty in 2006, and in every subsequent year. Activists have changed few, if any, minds during these last 30 years, as this week's United States Conference of Mayors' "Cities Day of Immigration Ac- tion" proved. Coming shortly af- ter the failed "A Day without an Immigrant," the USCM spon- sored a 100-city event which in- cluded a "Know Your Rights" workshop that Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti's Office of Immigrant Affairs hosted. Also on hand were Los Angeles Po- lice Department officers, the Los Angeles Archdiocese and the National Immigration Law Center. Univision provided a phone bank. In January, USCM adopted a resolution that de- manded Congress pass legisla- tion to give citizenship to the nation's 12 million illegal immi- grants, a proposal that would be DOA if it ever gets to Congress. Garcetti, who also chairs the USCM's Latino Alliance for Mayors, said that his rally was about families, friends and co- workers standing together to support those who contribute to the economy, and who are the "social, cultural and eco- nomic fabric of our cities." Al- though these gatherings may be well-intended, activism ral- lies have no impact on the peo- ple they need to convert —— the millions of Americans who may be conflicted about immi- gration, but are clear that they want a system that benefits U.S. citizens, and that's sensibly reg- ulated. The USCM events, and simi- lar ones organized during past years, fail because they're dis- honest on their face. They're not organized on behalf of im- migrants, but rather they pro- mote and defend illegal im- migration. A legal immigrant doesn't need a "day of action." He enters through an autho- rized port of entry and shows his valid visa. The mayors' au- dience is illegal immigrants, a term they specifically avoid us- ing. USCM's timing is curious. While President Obama took a passive role in immigration en- forcement, President Trump has promised to enforce the law, and as his top priority to remove criminal aliens. The day before "Cities Day of Immigra- tion Action," President Trump's administration vowed again to impose a crackdown on sanc- tuary cities that include Los Angeles. Citing a new Depart- ment of Homeland Security re- port which found that within a seven-day period sanctu- ary cities released 206 crimi- nals aliens, some charged with murder, rape, gun violence, wife beating and sex abuse, the Trump administration reaf- firmed its enforcement determi- nation. I get it. Activists have to be active. But suggesting that President Trump might be per- suaded on amnesty, and giving false hope to millions is wrong. Joe Guzzardi is a Californians for Population Stabilization Senior Writing Fellow. Contact him at joeguzzardi@ capsweb.org and on Twitter @ joeguzzardi19. Joe Guzzardi Immigration rallies target the wrong audience OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Wednesday, March 29, 2017 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A6