Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/804501
MARCH 29 - APRIL 4, 2017 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS A World Of Loot Conquers All Nobody expects a free meal from a restaurant. So what's with wedding guests who think it's acceptable to give no gift or just $100 from two people? My understanding is that you are supposed to "cover your plate" — the cost of your meal (at least $100 per person). If you can't, you shouldn't attend. I'm planning my wedding and considering not inviting four couples who gave no gift at my two siblings' weddings. Upsettingly, most are family members (and aren't poor). I'd hate to cut out family, but if they won't contribute, what else can I do? — Angry Bride The truth is, this "cover your plate" thing is not a rule. It's just an ugly idea that's gained traction in parts of the country — those where bridezillas have transformed getting married into a fierce social deathmatch, the wedding spendathalon. What gets lost in this struggle to out-lavish the competition is the point of the wedding — publicly joining two people in marriage, not separating their friends and relatives from as much cash as possible. And though it's customary for guests to give gifts, The Oxford English Dictionary defines "gift" as "a thing given willingly." But because you — incorrectly — believe that guests owe you (more than their company), you've awakened your ancient inner accountant, the human cheater-detection system. Evolutionary psychologists Leda Cosmides and John Tooby describe this as a specialized module the human brain evolved for detecting cheaters — "people who have intentionally taken the benefit specified in a social exchange rule without satisfying the requirement." Identifying and punishing freeloading slackers was especially vital in an ancestral environment, where there weren't always enough grubs to go around. These days, however, maybe you have the luxury to do as I advise in Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck: refuse to let a few (apparent) Stingy McMingies shape "who you are — which is created through … how you behave." Instead of grinding down into tit for tat, you can decide to be generous. It's a thematically nice way to start a marriage — in which 50/50 can sometimes be 95/"Hey, don't I at least get your 5 percent?" It also makes for a far less cluttered invitation than "RSVP…with the price of the gift you're getting us — so we know whether to serve you the Cornish game hen at the table or the bowl of water on the floor. Thanks!" Copyright 2017 Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Perhaps there are parents who (according to the Cinepolis movie chain) long to watch movies in theaters while their children (aged 3 and up) frolic in front in a "jungle-gym" playground inside the same auditorium. If so, the company's two "junior" movie houses (opening this very week in San Diego and Los Angeles) may bring a new dimension to "family entertainment." Another view, though, is that the noise (often "screaming"), plus the overhead lighting required for parents to monitor their tykes' equipment- usage, plus the planned $3-per-ticket surcharge, will soon create (according to the Guardian critic) a moviegoing "apocalypse." [The Guardian (London), 3-8-2017] Can't Possibly Be True (1) The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office in January granted IBM's 2010 application for a patent on "out-of- office" email message software (even though such messages have, of course, been ubiquitous for two decades) after the company finally convinced examiners that its patent had enough software tweaks on it to qualify. (Critics, such as the Electronic Frontier Foundation, laughed at the uselessness of the tweaks.) (2) Also in January, the office granted Daniel Dopps a patent for "adhesive vaginal lipstick," which his Mensez Technologies claims can cause the labia minora to tighten so strongly as to retain menstrual fluid until the woman can deal with buildup in privacy. [Ars Technica, 3-1-2017] [News Limited via Fox News, 2-21- 2017] News of the Pretentious Why live with a cat if one cannot take it out for some wine together? The Apollo Peak in Denver and the Pet Winery in Fort Myers, Florida, serve a variety of the real grape to humans and nonalcoholic proprietary drinks for the kitties to enjoy tableside (or underneath). "Pinot Meow" ($12) in Denver and "Meow and Chandon" ($15) in Fort Myers, are specialties — basically watered catnip, according to a February New York Times report (so the felines can also get buzzed). The wine outing is the human's preference, of course, with a loftier cachet than the "happy hour" most cats might prefer (say, a "sardine bar"). [New York Times, 2-15-2017] Copyright 2017 Chuck Sheppard ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, if you have been working too much, you have to find time to relax or you will not be able to grow. Your brain and body need recharging to work at their optimal levels. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, be sure to follow through on any promises you made to others and yourself. Set aside some extra time to address each of these commitments. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, work on honing your flirting skills. Whether you are attached or looking for new romance, think about the subtleties that will draw others close to you. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, prioritizing goals and maintaining some flexibility are the keys to managing what life has in store for you this week. With the right mindset, you can handle a busy week. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, there is a time for buckling down and a time for having fun, and this is a great week to let loose. Plan an excursion with friends or go on a solo holiday for pure enjoyment. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Do not underestimate other people, Virgo. There may be more to them than meets the eye, and you don't want to be at a disadvantage in a relationship. Learn all the facts first. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Be mindful of what you say and with whom you chat for a little while, Libra. While it's good to be friendly, you may be sharing too much personal information right now. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Stop focusing on what you could have done differently in the recent past, Scorpio. Looking back is not going to change anything now. It's better to focus on the future. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, share more details of an important situation with others. They will need more than just bits and pieces as they try to help you figure out your next move. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, although life has been a bit hectic lately, you have managed to hold things together quite well. Others may even remark on how calm you have been. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, exercise caution, but try to avoid being overly suspicious of others who are trying to help. Let some things go and you'll be happier for it. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 There's no need to rush a special project, Pisces. You have more than enough time to get it all done. Plan out your steps and dig in. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard