Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/78907
Thursday, August 16, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Hurtful comments complicate parental puzzle Dear Annie: Many years ago, my husband, ''Sam,'' and I divorced. I started seeing someone else and became pregnant. That man left me, saying he did- n't want more children. Sam and I began dating again, and he said we could remarry if his name went on the baby's birth certifi- cate. The biological father didn't care, so I agreed. Three months after the baby was born, Sam and I married again. That was 13 years ago. The prob- lem is, sometimes Sam and I will argue, and he'll say, ''Just take your daughter and get out,'' and other hurtful things indicating he's not her real father and so there's noth- ing to tie us together. I'm worried that our daughter Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar will find out about her parentage and be hurt. Should we tell her about her biological father? I know her bio dad recently got out of prison after a year's sentence for child molestation. I don't know where he's living, but I don't really want him around my daughter. Any suggestions? — Living a Lie Dear Living: The biological father no longer has any claim on your daughter. He gave up his rights. Your daughter is old enough to know about her background, although due to the particular cir- cumstances, we suggest you first discuss it with a therapist who spe- Scammers are gearing up for this year's Presi- dential election, from robocalls offering a "free cruise" for taking a polit- ical survey, to promises that President Obama will pay utility bills. Bet- ter Business Bureau is advising voters to be on the lookout for the grow- ing number of scams that are likely to continue leading up to the Presi- dential election. tives based on what they think voters want to hear," said Gary Almond, president of BBB serving northeast California. "Hot topics like health care, econom- ic recovery and unem- ployment are the alluring topics this election sea- son, but it can be any- thing in the news that makes the pitch sound more realistic." Below are the top election scams con- sumers should be aware "Scammers use incen- This couple wants to cause as lit- tle disruption as possible to their child's home environment. They plan to rent a nearby house, and the parents will swap living there so the child gets to stay in the original home. cializes in such issues. It would help to bring Sam into the sessions, as well, because his comments are not only reprehensible, but could cause all kinds of repercussions in his relation- ship with his daughter. He may be too angry with you during these arguments to fully realize how much he can hurt this child. Dear Annie: Two of our closest friends are getting a divorce. We are godparents to their adorable and sweet 9-year- old child. first to think of this arrangement, even though it's new to us. As dis- ruptive as a divorce is, would this add a sense of security for the child as opposed to sending her off to the estranged parent's house for a short period of time as is commonly done? — Puzzled in Florida Dear Puzzled: Quite a few par- Annie, I'm sure they're not the from ''Washington,'' who said her feelings for her husband are com- pletely gone. Many Catholic dioceses have suspect it is easier if they don't have to pack up every weekend. It also lessens the stigma for the non-cus- todial parent whose residence is ''Dad's place'' or ''Mom's house'' but not ''home.'' Dear Annie: I read the letter weekend programs for married cou- ples, and other denominations may have similar programs. Our diocese offers Marriage Encounter to help a couple rediscover the spark. The program is for those whose mar- riage is basically OK but could be better. vaille, a French word meaning ''rediscovery.'' It helps heal prob- lems in a troubled marriage by reopening communication and pro- viding tools that can make a differ- ence. It's for those who feel lost, alone or bored, or are constantly fighting, arguing or thinking about separating. The other program is Retrou- have to be Catholic, although they should be married. — Father B. ents have this arrangement, where- by the children stay in the home while the parents trade a rental space, or in some cases, both par- ents have their own place. While children are resilient and can adjust to almost any living situation, we In neither case does the couple Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Election scammers counting on consumers' support of. There will not be a "free cruise" at the end of the voting survey. This public opinion poll scam typically involves a recorded announcement offering a "free cruise" in exchange for participat- ing in a telephone survey. At the end of the call consumers are asked for a debit or credit card number to cover "port fees" and taxes. sumers who hesitate or ask if they can call back in order to verify the caller's identity are sub- ject to high-pressure tac- tics, such as being told that the offer "is only good right now," and that if they hang up they will be disqualified. Con- President Obama is not going to pay utility bills. Consumers have been contacted with claims that President Obama is providing credits or applying pay- ments to utility bills. Scammers claim they need the consumers' Social Security and bank routing numbers to arrange the payments. In return, customers are given a phony bank rout- ing number that will sup- posedly pay their utility bills. In reality, there is no money, and customers believe they have paid their bills when in fact they have not. Worse, they have given away everything needed for identity fraud. Fundraising calls for political donations may not be real. Consumers are reporting calls from organizations that sound legitimate, but may not really be related to either the Obama or Romney campaigns. If consumers are unsure, BBB recom- mends they avoid donat- ing over the phone. Requesting a callback number is no guarantee in connecting with a legitimate campaign fundraising committee. Call or visit candidates' websites to obtain con- tact information to make donations. No one checks anyone's eligibil- ity to vote. Voter regis- tration records are with the state and no one will call or email to verify eli- gibility. What do these callers claim they need to check? Just a credit card or Social Security num- ber. No way! Don't fall for these scams. Legitimate polling companies never offer prizes for partici- pating in a telephone sur- vey, nor ask for a credit card number. Never pro- vide a Social Security number, credit card num- ber or banking informa- tion to anyone requesting it over the phone or in- person unless the identity of the person is verified and trusted. Do not give in to high pressure tac- tics, whether over the phone or in person. TOR K: My dark skin makes my vitiligo very noticeable. Steroid creams haven't helped. I've heard that light therapy might be an option. DEAR DOC- ER: Vitiligo is a skin condition that caus- es white patches of skin to appear on the body. The patches are more obvious in dark-skinned people. Vitiligo usually appears when people are in their 20s or 30s. The white skin patches of vitiligo are caused by the loss of melanin, the pigment that gives skin its color. Melanin is pro- duced by special skin cells called melanocytes. For reasons we don't understand, the immune system in people with vitiligo attacks these cells and destroys them, so no more pigment is produced. In other words, vitiligo is an autoimmune disease. Vitiligo can occur on DEAR READ- its own in some people. For most sufferers, how- ever, the patches last and expand without treat- ment. The goal of treat- ment is to minimize the contrast between normal skin and vitiligo patches. Topical treatments are helpful for most people, although you said they haven't worked for you. Steroid creams or oint- ments are applied direct- ly to the skin, once a day for up to several months. Ultraviolet (UV) B light treatment is effec- tive in at least half of patients. UV light can be provided by a hand-held light box. For larger its own, but it also often shows up in people with other autoimmune dis- eases, such as Addison's disease, pernicious ane- mia, lupus and thyroiditis. Whenever I see a patient with vitiligo, I look for evidence of these other autoimmune diseases. You might ask your doc- tor whether you have any evidence of them. Vitiligo clears up on 3B Light therapy is one way to treat vitiligo Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. include itching, pain and sunburn, as well as increased risk of skin cancers. areas of skin, you can put on gog- gles and stand inside a closet- sized light box for several min- utes. The treat- ment must be repeated often, usually three times a week for several months. Side effects Psoralen plus ultravio- let A light treatment (PUVA) is another form of light therapy. Pso- ralens are drugs that cause skin to darken when they react with ultraviolet A light. They are applied as a cream or taken as pills, and then you are exposed to ultra- violet light. This treat- ment may increase your risk of skin cancers. Calcineurin inhibitors are medicines that quiet an overactive immune system. The most com- monly used are tacrolimus and pime- crolimus; they are applied to the skin as creams. They are rela- tively new, and there is not yet a lot of experi- ence with them in treat- ing vitiligo. can be effective when rela- tively small patches of skin are affected. Vitamin D creams help calm an overactive immune system. also available but are rarely used because of the potential for serious side effects. Other treatments are Excimer laser treatments Whether or not you pursue further treatment, wear sunscreen. Skin affected by vitiligo is at especially high risk for sunburn and skin can- cers. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. $99 Blinds Need Blinds? C A L L P A U L Blinds & Draperies www.nsbd.biz Lic.#906022 527-0842 North State Paul Stubbs Contractor When you want it done right ... HIRE A LICENSED CONTRACTOR! Complete directory of Tehama County contractors online, listed by specialty on 2011 Contractors Guide under "Special Sections" www.RedBluffDailyNews.com Click on Print Runs Every Tuesday - Thursday- Saturday On-Line runs 7 days a week, On-Line Print and No early cancellation, non-refundable Clock Repair Contractor When you want it done right ... HIRE A LICENSED CONTRACTOR! Complete directory of Tehama County contractors online, listed by specialty on 2011 Contractors Guide under "Special Sections" www.RedBluffDailyNews.com Click on Landscape/Fence & Landscape Service Steve's Tractor • Fence Building • Landscaping • Trenching • Rototilling • Disking • Mowing • Ridging • Post Hole Digging • Blade Work • Sprinkler Installation • Concrete Work Cont. Lic. #703511 Steve Dyke 385-1783 530-736-7079 Grandpa's Clocks 20910 Pebblestone Dr. Red Bluff Jim Paul Electrical clocks Call for appt. Mechanical, Battery and Member NAWCC Advertisement 527-2151 For more information If this was your Service Directory ad customers would be reading it right now!! Call us at Your Clock Repair Shop Tehama Country Real Estate section Residential • Commerical PATIOS • DECKS Construction Remodel, Construction Burrows FREE ESTIMATES & REFRENCES Lic#824770 Water and Dryrot Damage Specialist, New Construction Foundation to Finish New Additions, Siding Repair and Replacement, Ph: (530) 515-9779 Plumbing/Handyman Jim the Plumber and Handyman Services 25 years experience Free Estimates Free Travel Time See Angie's List No Job to small Quality work ...cheaper! Local References (530)366-6033 24 hour service Lic#11003 Construction n o • Plumbing • Drywall Repairs • Fences • Decks • Concrete • Garages House Remodel / Specialist Rental Turnovers / Repairs Bathroom Remodels / Tile Painting • Electrical Quality at a reasonable price FREE ESTIMATES 530 949-6162 Advertisement CA LIC#914460 Tractor Service 527-2151 For more information If this was your Service Directory ad customers would be reading it right now!! Call us at Tractor Dan "Have Tractor-Will Travel" Mow (Rotary or Flail) Till - Disk - Rip - Harrow Load - Light Hauling Gannon Box - Float Dan Marshall Owner/ Operator Insured Tehama County Resident since 1958 (530) 527-1437 Advertisement 527-2151 For more information If this was your Service Directory ad customers would be reading it right now!! Call us at 24 hours a day at www.redbluffdailynews.com in the n A o l l i t e c n u s t s C r