Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/78732
Wednesday, August 15, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Former beau causing custody troubles Dear Annie: I left a relationship of six years when my boyfriend became physically and emotionally abusive. We have two chil- dren together. With my children's well- being as my first priority, I decided to stay in the same town so they could have full access to their dad. Here's the problem: My ex keeps trying to win me back, and I am not interest- ed. Whenever I see him in order to drop off the kids for visita- tion, he always asks me to spend some time alone with him. I always decline, but he is persistent. It has become an uncomfortable situation for me. And if I have my new boyfriend (or anyone) with me when he comes to drop off the kids, he turns around and takes them back to his place. I don't want him to ruin my new relationship, but I still have to find a way to get my children to my ex. How do I make these weekly transi- tions less painful and awkward? — Pulling My Hair Out Dear Pulling: It might help if you could arrange the transfer of the children without your direct involvement. That means allowing someone else to meet your ex in a neutral location to hand over the kids, and then repeat the procedure when they are to be returned. If your ex is not cooperative and with- holds the children when it's time for Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar new boyfriend. Since then, she rarely returns my calls or answers my emails. She often promises to write more next time and asks me to be patient, saying she really wants to see me. them to come home, you should speak to your lawyer or a mediator. And please keep your new boyfriend out of the picture during pick-up and drop-off times. His pres- ence only makes a difficult situation worse. Dear Annie: I have been friends with ''Sarah'' for seven years, since we were in high school. After col- lege, we continued to stay in touch, even after I married. Last summer, Sarah got a I am surprised to find that Sarah has become such a fair-weather friend when I've gone out of my way to keep in touch. Recently, Sarah mentioned that she would be in my city and that she'd like to meet up for lunch. After a few days passed, I called to ask whether she was still interested, and she said she'd already come and gone. Is it time to cut off this friendship and explain my reasons? Maybe she'd shape up. Her infrequent emails and texts imply that she still considers me a friend, although apparently only when she feels like it. — Sad Sack Dear Sad: You can tell her why you're unhappy if you like. But it is not uncommon for some women to be so enthralled by a current beau that they neglect their female friendships. Things may normalize in time, but it will require a lot of patience from you. We suggest you put Sarah on standby status for now. Continue to email and text occa- sionally in order to keep in touch, but don't expect more. Either she will come around or the friendship will fade away naturally. Dear Annie: I applaud your answer to ''Feeling Inconve- nienced,'' the woman who is unin- terested in developing a relationship with her son-in-law's 5-year-old from his first marriage. May I take that answer a step further? Dear Inconvenienced: Your choice will either forge a greater bond with your daughter than you have ever known, or it will create a chasm never to be bridged in your lifetime. Make the right choice. Give this child every bit of uncondi- tional love you are capable of. Not only will you leave a precious lega- cy for the little one long after you are gone, but you will reap a harvest of inner joy for yourself beyond anything you could imagine. — Grandmother in Azusa, Calif. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Sheriffs speak out in Mendocino UKIAH – Constitu- tional sheriffs continue to discuss issues critical to rural counties during town hall meetings held throughout the North State. the land. "We are the watch Sheriffs from Califor- nia and Oregon will share the podium Aug. 18 looking for solutions at the Support Rural America Event held 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Redwoods Empire fair- grounds in Ukiah. Mendocino County keepers," said Allman, "not because we think we are, but because the Constitution gives us that authority." Sheriff Tom Allman will host this sixth in a string of 2012 events, which began up in Siskiyou County in February. Like-minded sheriffs are learning from each other and citizens are standing up in support of these elected sheriffs. In fact, the citizens are enthused by the forti- tude of these men who are standing on the Con- stitution as the law of in Trinity, Tehama and Del Norte counties' events in May, June and July. So far, 12 sheriffs are involved in the Sup- port Rural America events and crowds 600- strong have roared their approval. Sheriffs attending Support Rural America events include Siskiyou County Sheriff Jon Lopey; Modoc County Sheriff Mike Poindex- ter; Trinity County Sheriff Bruce Haney; Tehama County Sheriff Dave Hencratt; Del Norte County Sheriff Dean Wilson; Plumas County Sheriff Greg Hagwood; Humboldt County Sheriff Mike Allman participated Downey; Shasta County Sheriff Ton Bosenko; Glenn County Sheriff Larry Jones; and in Ore- gon Sheriff Glenn E. Palmer from Grant County and Josephine County Sheriff Gil Gilbertson. Each sheriff is com- mitted to the oath taken after their election — to defend the Constitution and his citizens. Their rural economies are hurting and public safety issues have exploded, but the public funds to provide public services are diminished, because of poor economies. ment. But, unencum- bered policy-making by some bureaucratic agen- cies is causing econom- ic havoc. "I have the legal right Allman sees many problems, but claims they are not insurmount- able. He said sheriffs have cerns, individually, with California Gov. Jerry Brown. So far, the gov- ernor seems to be sup- porting law enforce- expressed con- Joining Allman on Aug. 18 in Ukiah will be Siskiyou Sheriff Jon Lopey; Tehama Sheriff Dave Hencratt and Del Norte Sheriff Dean Wil- son. Oregon's Josephine County Sheriff Gil Gilbertson will also attend. For more information on past events and youtube videos, go to Support Rural Ameri- ca.com or call Liz Bowen at 530-467-3515 or Erin Ryan at 530- 515-7135. to know when a road is going to be closed on federal lands," said All- man, referring to issues with the U.S. Forest Service. "Or when a cat- tle lease is being can- celed." TOR K: I have severe hearing loss that hasn't been helped by hearing aids. Could I be a can- didate for a cochlear implant? DEAR READ- DEAR DOC- 3B Cochlear implant will mean learning to hear ER: You sure could be. Cochlear implants are a rel- atively new technology; they weren't available when I graduated from medical school. There often were no effective options for people like you with severe hearing loss. Even the most advanced hearing aids didn't help. But since then, more than 200,000 people around the world have been helped by this technology. To understand how a cochlear implant works, you need to understand how we hear. Hearing starts when little hairs inside your ear pick up sound waves. The hairs are in a snail-shaped part of your ear called the cochlea. When sound waves cause the hairs to vibrate, signals are sent up the hearing nerve (called the acoustic nerve) to the brain. The brain then interprets those signals and we hear sound. Sensorineural hearing loss usually comes on gradually, caused by aging or by an ongoing exposure to loud noise. The hair cells in the cochlea can be damaged beyond repair. One way that happens is being exposed too often to very loud sounds — such as operating a jackhammer, or attending too many rock concerts. Cochlear implants are used only when a person has severe hearing loss in both ears, so extreme that even the best hearing aid doesn't help. If you are a good candi- date for an implant, here is what happens in the pro- cedure: An ear surgeon who specializes in cochlear implants places a wire inside your cochlea. The wire is attached to a tiny receiver, placed just inside your skull. Electri- cal signals through that Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Outside your ear you wear a lit- tle microphone that is attached to a transmitter. When the micro- phone picks up sound waves, it transmits a wire- less signal to the receiver inside your skull. That signal travels down the wire into your cochlea and stimulates your hearing nerve. (I have a picture of how this happens on my website.) wire stimulate the hearing nerve. You are under general anesthesia during the proce- dure and don't feel anything. Once your implant is in place, you must work with an audiologist to learn how to listen to and inter- pret sounds through the implant. Speech may sound mechanical, and other sounds may be unrecognizable at first. Just as important, you must be willing to put in the time and effort required to relearn how to hear. Rehabilitation can take up to a year. We have more informa- tion on cochlear implants in our Special Health Report, "Hearing Loss." (Learn more about this report at AskDoctorK.com, or call 877-649-9457 toll-free to order it.) Although it takes work and time to learn how to hear again after a cochlear implant, the rewards can be enormous. You don't absolutely need to restore hearing to carry on con- versations, as people who are deaf can tell you. What my patients who have had cochlear implants talk most about are the sounds — of the wind, the music, their grandchild laughing in the next room. That's what makes the effort worth- while. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Drivers urged to use caution; school session begins today Today, Aug. 15, school will be back in session in the Red Bluff area. The Red Bluff Police Depart- ment would like to encourage everyone to drive carefully and watch for children and parents walking and riding bicy- cles to and from school. Please remember the speed limit on city streets, unless posted otherwise, is 25 MPH. School Zones are also 25 MPH and carry an increased fine if you are cited for speeding through one. So plan ahead and take some extra time when you're driving through town so you don't have to rush. Also, please make sure you yield the right of way to pedestri- ans at crosswalks, whether they are marked or unmarked. Democrats plan headquarters in Corning and Red Bluff Finalizing plans for opening campaign headquarters in both Red Bluff and Corn- ing will be the major agenda items for Thursday's Democrats of Tehama County meeting to be held at Los Gordos Taqueria, 200 S. Main St. in Red Bluff. Recognizing the support being received from Corning, this additional headquar- ters will be a first for county Democrats. In addition, six new members will be welcomed to the County Central Commit- tee including Dennis Albright, Linda Hamilton, Susan Price, Rob Root, Bob Wilkinson and Louise Wilkinson. They will join existing members who were elected or reappointed: Ruth Mathiesen, Joan Kaiser Bell, John Elshere, Charles Rouse, Sharon Young, Jean Wagoner, Holly Wilson, Raymond Rodriguez, Judy Turner, Orle Jackson, Angelica Rouse, Cathy Streight, Mike Streight and Mark Proctor. Public television sta- tion KIXE is selling tick- ets to its King of the Road Sweepstakes. Tickets are $5 each and the winner will receive a $1,000 visa gas of Office at the July meeting by County Clerk and Recorder Beverly Ross. On Thursday, special recognition will Members were administered the Oath be given to Sue Gallagher for her service as chairwoman of the Central Committee during the past two years. On hand to con- gratulate her will be Jim Reed, candidate for Congress and Charles Rouse, candidate for Assembly. A special congratulatory message will be provided from the State Democratic Party. During this meeting elections will be held for officers of the local Central Com- mittee for 2012 to 2014. All interested Democrats are invited to attend this meeting, Thursday, Aug. 16 at 5:30 p.m. at Los Gordos. For further infor- mation, to be placed on the Democrats' email list or to volunteer for upcoming activities, send an email to tehamacounty- democrats@gmail.com. KIXE plans sweepstakes, tickets on sale now card from Susan East- man, Financial Advisor with Wells Fargo Advi- sors. There will be more than $1,000 in other prizes including a portable DVD player, GPS and car alarm. The drawing will be held Sept. 27. For more information, call 243-5493 or visit kixe.org. obey the same rules of the road as vehicles and everyone less than 18 years of age should also remember to wear a hel- met. All pedestrians are encouraged to use the All bicyclists must sidewalk whenever possi- ble and stay out of the roadway. Also, please use a crosswalk when cross- ing the street and make sure passing vehicles stop before walking out in front of them. Thanks everyone in advance for helping us have a safe start to our school year. Anyone with ques- tions, comments, or con- cerns can contact the Red Bluff Police Department at (530) 527-3131.