Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/759468
DECEMBER 7-13, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Do No Harem I've been happily married to the same wonderful guy for 20 years. However, the longer we're together the harder it is to remain faithful — surely for both of us. Sex and skin are everywhere these days, and men are especially impacted by the barrage of provocative images. How does a woman realistically balance this with the desire to have a relationship that's monogamous in body and mind? — Troubled Though you can have a monogamous relationship, our minds are anything but monogamous. As neuroscientist Michael Gazzaniga explains, about 98 percent of our brain's activity happens beyond our conscious awareness — including some of the "reasoning" behind our choices and where our attention runs off to. Key players in who and what we're drawn to are our brain's "reward circuitry" and the neurotransmitter dopamine, pushing us to pay attention to and go after stuff that will help us survive and pass on our genes. Dopamine is ever on the lookout for this stuff — including hotties, or, as neuroscientist Wolfram Schultz puts it, "reward-predicting visual stimuli." Understanding the neuroscience behind attraction is helpful — revealing that attraction is a physiological reaction, like being tired or hungry. If your husband wants a sandwich, you don't take that personally. The problem is that it's been seen as a shameful personal failing (instead of the biological predisposition it is) to merely feel an attraction to someone other than your spouse. This means that the "forsaking all others" business in the wedding vows is often the first and last time the subject gets discussed. However, the late infidelity researcher Peggy Vaughan explained that a couple are more likely to remain faithful if they admit that "attractions to others are likely (indeed inevitable) no matter how much they love each other." This allows them to engage in "ongoing honest communication about … how to avoid the consequences of acting on those temptations." In other words, it's by admitting that we have a problem that we can get cracking on how to solve it. So, no — sadly — monogamy isn't "natural." However, on a hopeful note, neither are $300 Nikes, zero-gravity toilets, or messages that come by smartphone instead of by waving a loincloth over a fire. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Australian aviator David Mayman has promised investors that his personal jet packs will hit the market by mid- 2017, though early adopters will pay about $250,000 for one, to fly a person at up to 60 mph for 10 minutes. The JB-10 (developed by Mayman and designer Nelson Tyler) has made about 400 test runs in Monaco and over downtown London and New York City, but the partners realize that ultimate success will require that the fuel tanks be downsized so that the craft can be powered electrically — and thus seek crowdfunding both for that model and a larger one to accommodate the Pentagon's (Special Operations Command) tactical needs. [Daily Mail (London), 11-11-2016] The Continuing Crisis Wild Life: The state agency Colorado Parks and Wildlife filed 21 criminal charges in October against the Squirrel Creek Wildlife Rescue center in Littleton, alleging that some of the orphaned and rehabbing animals Kendall Seifert houses are not being kept according to the state's strict standards — and that Seifert's 15-year-old center is also home to his popular swingers' club (Scarlet Ranch) featuring weekend sex parties. One of the criminal charges suggests that rescue animals could be stressed by gazing at activity in the ranch's bar area. Seifert said he will challenge the charges out of fear that many of the raccoons, foxes, song birds, coyotes, skunks, rabbits and squirrels he would have to relinquish would not find suitable facilities elsewhere. [The Guardian (London), 10- 27-2016] In St. Paul, Minnesota, a 25-year-old woman told police on Nov. 3 that she was involuntarily roughed up several hours after being voluntarily roughed up at Arnellia's Bar's weekly "Smack Fest" — in which female patrons competitively slap each other's faces for three "rounds" under strict house rules. The woman said she spoke amicably with her opponent, but by closing time, the opponent and several friends, including men, punched and kicked her outside the bar. (In other slapping news, a 71-year-old woman died in Lewes, England, in November while participating in a Chinese healing seminar that emphasizes being slapped repeatedly to rid the body of poisoned blood and toxins. The "healer," Hongshi Xiao, charges clients around $900 to beat what he calls the "sha" out of them.) [St. Paul Pioneer Press, 11-7-2016] [The Argus (Brighton), 11-14-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, exchange heartfelt words with someone who could benefit from a pick-me-up. This might change this person's entire perspective and greatly improve his or her week. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you have the right to speak up if someone demands more of you this week than you can possibly deliver. This person might just need to be reminded you can't do it all. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, patience has gotten you very far, but you may have to make your moment happen in the coming week. Seek the support of friends when making your next move. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Things that may seem obvious on the surface actually have much more depth than you'd first imagined, Cancer. You may need to explore a little bit more. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, if you find yourself facing some resistance, you may need to use a different tactic. What you have been doing isn't working as you'd have hoped, but it can be fixed. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, do not lose your cool when met with an emotionally charged situation. Instead, pull back and assess the situation from afar. This could shed light on a new way to proceed. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, facing one of your biggest obstacles this week will not be an easy task. However, with a support team behind you, you can overcome this obstacle. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, you may match wits with someone who shares your stubbornness. But this is a battle that will come out with no winner. Embrace compromise instead. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 An interesting turn of events shifts your focus from one of your goals to another, Sagittarius. This may be a time of great change, so expect the unexpected at every turn. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, if you feel stretched to your limits, start delegating some of your work to others. It isn't a sign of giving up, but rather an indication of your ability to manage. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Conversations with a spouse or loved one can expand your way of thinking, Aquarius. This fresh perspective may be just what you need to see goals through to completion. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, things within the realm of your relationships may be in flux, but you must take control and figure out how to proceed. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard