Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/724002
SEPTEMBER 7-13, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Dr. Filler I was a married man for a long time, but about a year ago, after grieving my divorce, I got into friends- with-benefits things with two different women. (Neither knows about the other.) We like each other, but we don't call or text regularly or discuss whether we're seeing anybody else. Well, last month, I met this great woman and felt a real romantic connection. We haven't slept together because I want to end these FWB things first. My question is: How do I do that? What does a woman who isn't a girlfriend but has been having semi- regular sex with a man want to hear that will not hurt her? — Concerned The really terrible breakups are those where the other party just won't let go — like when the gym chain or cable company makes you talk with three "retention specialists" and show the lease to your new place 6,343 miles away, with no access to transportation but a rickety footbridge over a 400-foot chasm. However, most helpfully, Paul Mongeau, who researches communication in relationships, finds that there are three different levels of friends-with-benefits relationships: "true friends," "network opportunism," and "just sex." "True friends" mean something to each other. They know and care about each other and also have sex. "Network opportunists" are a step down from true friends. They're people in the same social group (or "network") who aren't really friends but are friendly enough to go home together if neither meets anybody better at the bar. And lowest on the FWB ladder is what you have — the "just sex" thing. The just sex-ers don't hate each other or anything, but, as the researchers explain, for them, the "friend" in FWB "is a misnomer." They're in each other's life for one reason: to be sexual grout. It bodes well for the woman you want that you care so much about being kind to the women you don't. But consider that you probably have deeper and more frequent conversations with the guy who makes your burrito at Chipotle. So, for these women, losing their "just sex" man will be inconvenient and annoying but probably not as heartbreaking as needing to find a new plumber. Just politely inform them that you have to end it because you've started seeing somebody (and not just for 45 minutes at 1 in the morning). Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The phenomenal Japanese singer Hatsune Miku (100 million YouTube hits) is coming off of a sold-out, 10- city North American concert tour with high-energy audiences (blocks- long lines to get in; raucous crowd participation; hefty souvenir sales), except that "she" isn't real. Hatsune Miku is a projected hologram on stage singing and dancing (but her band is human), and her May show in Dallas, according to a Dallas Observer review, typically ignited frenzied fans who know the show's "every beat, outfit ... and glow stick color-change." Her voice, a synthesized "vocaloid," is crafted in pitch, timbre and timing to sound human. (The latest PlayStation brings Hatsune Miku into the home by virtual reality.) [Dallas Observer, 5-16- 2016] The Finer Points of Law Make Up Your Mind, Feds: On Aug. 11, the federal government's Drug Enforcement Agency famously refused to soften the regulation of marijuana, leaving it (with heroin) as a harsh "Schedule I" drug because, citing Food and Drug Administration findings, it has "no medical use." However, as the Daily Caller pointed out, another federal agency — Department of Health and Human Services — obtained a U.S. patent in 2003 for marijuana-derived cannabinoids, which HHS pointed out have several medical uses (as an antioxidant and for limiting neurological damage following strokes). [Daily Caller, 8-17- 2016] Priorities: (1) "A dog has better protection than our kids," lamented an Oregon prosecutor in May because, unlike the pet law, the "child abuse" law requires proof the victim experienced "substantial" pain — which a young child often lacks vocabulary to describe. (Simply showing welts and bruises is insufficient, the Court of Appeals has ruled.) (2) That same Oregon Court of Appeals ruled in June that Thomas Wade, 44, was not guilty of a crime when in 2013 he unzipped his pants, reached inside, and at that point cursed the woman he had confronted in a public park. "Distasteful," wrote the Court, but it was an exercise of Wade's free speech right. [The Oregonian, 5-21-2016] [The Oregonian, 6-10-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 A playful and generous spirit make you a favorite friend to have around, Aries. Many may be clamoring for your attention, and you do not know where to direct it first. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, uncertainty has you wondering about the direction in which your life may be going. It's a time for reflection. Look to a parent or trusted advisor for guidance. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Romance may get in the way of logic this week, Gemini. This is sure to be exciting, but try to maintain your focus. Keep lines of communication with your significant other open. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, do your best to overhaul your finances. Some recent purchases might have made you vulnerable, and now is a great time to regain control. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, a sudden burst of creativity will inspire you and others in the days ahead. Keep up the great work you're doing, and don't be afraid to take chances. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 You are given to behaving selflessly, Virgo. But this week you can still help others and take your needs into consideration. Ask for help if you need it. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, resist the urge to overindulge in food or beverages this week. Good times are ahead and you want to be able to enjoy them to the fullest. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, you're focused on furthering your career, but responsibilities at home must be weighed before making a final decision. Don't give up; just reevaluate your timing. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, rather than dreaming of faraway places, make a plan to travel. Establish a savings account or vacation fund and begin making your travel goals happen. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, gifts might start coming your way and you don't understand all the generosity. Accept what is offered and recognize that you deserve it. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 It's easy to expect others to keep your pace when you have all of your ducks in a row, Aquarius. However, not everyone works on the same schedule that you do. Allow time to catch up. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, promising more than you can possibly deliver at this time will not win you any admirers. Others will appreciate your honesty. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard