Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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AUGUST 31 - SEPTEMBER 6, 2016 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPE ADVICE GODDESS Duck Face The Nation I'm a woman in my late 20s. Guys don't have car crashes looking at me, but I am pretty and have a nice boyfriend. I have three drop-dead gorgeous girlfriends who are perpetually single, but not by choice. I realized that they all do two things: complain that things never work out with a guy and constantly post stunning selfies on Facebook. One takes a daily pic in her car, showing how hot she looks. When I mentioned this to my boyfriend, he said guys want a hot girlfriend but they don't want one who does that. Please explain. — Wondering Selfie posting, not surprisingly, has been associated with narcissism — being a self-absorbed, self-important user with a lack of empathy and a sucking need for admiration. But consider that there are nuances to what sort of person posts selfies and why. There are those who post selfies in keeping with their interests — like "here's today's outfit!" (because they're into fashion) or "here I am about to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel" (because they are into adventure travel and are also kind of an idiot). Though these "stuff I like!" shots include a picture of the person, they're ultimately about some hobby or interest they have. And then there's the person — like these women you mention — who simply posts endless vanity shots, like "it's Monday, and I'm still alive, and aren't I pretty? #WeAllHaveOurCrossToBear" Clinical psychologist Christopher T. Barry and his colleagues found that posting a lot of "physical appearance selfies" is associated with a subtype of narcissism, "vulnerable narcissism." Vulnerable narcissism involves self-worth that's "highly contingent" on what others think, "hypervigilance" about rejection, and a tendency to manufacture a facade to protect against rejection. ("Grandiose narcissism" is the louder, more domineering sub-type most of us think of as narcissism.) Yes, like ice cream and medical marijuana, narcissism comes in different flavors. Though you can probably feel for the vulnerable narcissists, they also come up short on empathy. They just do it more quietly. Chances are, guys who want more than a hookup or arm candy see a slew of "Worship me!" selfies as a generic sign of narcissism — and a big flashing danger sign telling them to look elsewhere. As the saying goes, "beauty fades…" but unempathetic is forever. Copyright Amy Alkon NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Australians are about to learn how particular some people are about their genders. Queensland University of Technology and three other sponsors have created an online preference survey (currently underway) that asks participants to decide among 33 "genders" (since "gender" is, according to the World Health Organization, "socially constructed"). "Male" and "female" are clear enough — but only where "identity" matches plumbing. Otherwise, it's "trans" or "transsexual," or else the more complicated bigender, omnigender, polygender, pangender, intergender, genderf luid, "cisgender," trigender, demigender, "gender non- conforming," "non-binary," "none gender" and a few others. [News.com. au (Sydney), 7-29-2016] Government in Action More federal civilian employees have "arrest and firearms authority" than the total number of active-duty U.S. Marines, according to a June report by the organization Open The Books, which claims to have tallied line-by-line expenditures across the government. Several agencies (including the IRS and EPA) purchase assault weapons and other military- grade equipment (camouf lage, night-vision goggles, 30-round magazines) for their agents, and even the Small Business Administration, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and Department of Education buy their agents guns and ammo. [Washington Free Beacon, 6-22- 2016] San Diego Padres outfielder Melvin Upton Jr. was traded on July 23 to the Toronto Blue Jays — in the middle of a series between the Padres and the Blue Jays in Toronto. Normally, such a player would merely gather his belongings and walk down the hall to the other team's locker room. However, while Canada treats Blue Jays' opponents as "visitors," Blue Jays players, themselves, are Canadian employees, and if not residents must have work permits. Upton had to leave the stadium and drive to Lewiston, New York, which is the closest place he could find to apply to re-enter Canada properly. (He made it back by game time.) [Associated Press via New York Times, 7-27-2016] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, once you have your mind set on something, it is hard to get you to think about anything else. This dedication can be an asset at work in the days ahead. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you are in good spirits this week and it could be due to some good news that provides you with extra energy. Tackle some tasks at hand and then have fun. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, it may be time for a change of scenery, especially if you feel like you need recharging. Plan a getaway that allows you to unwind free of distractions. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Accept help when it is offered, Cancer. Doing so will considerably cut down on your workload and put you in a better frame of mind. Someone has a proposition that's promising. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, though you often enjoy being the center of attention, you will enjoy a much-needed break from the limelight in coming days. Use the time to reflect. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, when a job opportunity pops up, jump on it without delay. This could be the break you're looking for, so don't pass up the opportunity to get on board. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, recognize that some things are beyond your control, no matter how hard you try to influence the outcomes. Do your best and things will work out for you. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, sometimes the best way to help someone is to refrain from offering advice and let him or her work it out. This week you'll be put to the test in this line of thinking. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, do your best to address a financial issue in the weeks ahead. It may take some time, but use this week to lay the groundwork for your future financial security. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, a pleasant surprise has you wanting to share good news with anyone and everyone. However, it may be wise to keep things hush- hush for a while until you know all the details. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 There's no time like the present to perform a self-analysis in an effort to better yourself, Aquarius. Expect the support of family as you look to make positive changes. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, positive thinking and taking action can help you overcome difficult obstacles. Good news is coming your way. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard