Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/70726
4B Daily News – Tuesday, June 19, 2012 FEATURES Woman remains an outsider with in-laws Dear Annie: I married at the age of 18. Shortly before my wedding, both of my par- ents died, leaving me with no other relatives. I looked for- ward to sharing life with my husband's large, close-knit family. But the day after the ceremony, my new mother- in-law began a crusade to divorce me. She went to each family member with horrible lies about me, and they believed her. I never got the chance to know them. The worst lie was telling my husband that I was unfaithful. The whole family condemned me without a shred of evidence. Fortunately, my husband knew better. My mother-in-law banned me they are. He seems to relish the role of martyr at the hands of a horrible wife. It is diffi- cult to discuss this with him, as he has an uncontrollable temper and sometimes resorts to physical violence. Should I simply accept Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar from all family functions and forbade everyone from having contact with me. She insisted that we move far away to a rural area, isolated from everyone. Before every holiday and family event for the past 25 years, I have cried watching my husband drive off for a day of fun and memo- ries with his family, leaving me all alone. He says that he cannot disobey his mother, especially now that she is terminally ill. After she dies, I am hoping that things will change and that I finally will be allowed to join the clan, but I'm unsure how to do this. My hus- band feels things should continue as an abuser. After 25 years, we would- n't count on his family being more accepting, particularly if your hus- band discourages it. Instead, please consider ''family'' those people who care about you. If you have children, they, their spouses and their in-laws are your family. If you don't have children, your friends can become the family you need. Since divorce is not an option, we recommend counseling on your own to help you cope better with the hand you've been dealt. Dear Annie: My wife and I own a place in a resort community where golfing greens fees at a public course are included in our annual charges. We are not sure how to handle it when guests visit and want to play golf with us. It feels awkward when they pay the full amount while we appear to be getting in for free. Should we subsidize our friends even that I never will be able to call anyone family? Sadly, divorce is out of the question for many reasons. — Alone in Minnesota Dear Alone: Your hus- band is a coward, as well as Dear Annie: ''Indianapolis'' said her brother is in hospice and the wife has disconnected his phone and won't let anyone visit. Please tell her that even with power of attorney, the sister-in-law and the hospice care facility cannot interfere with his visi- tors without evidence that such visits are not desired by the brother or are prohibited by a court-ordered restraining order based on the visitor being a danger. I would suggest that ''Indianapo- as you would if taking your friends to a museum, concert or out for dinner. If you've invited them to golf with you, you should pay the greens fees. However, if they invite themselves, they should handle their own costs. What you and your wife pay is irrel- evant, although you could explain the circumstances if it would make you feel better. though we've already paid our fees as part of our yearly dues? — Paul Dear Paul: You should treat this Factor in nutrition in battling fatigue TOR K: I'm in good health and I've been sleeping well. But I'm tired all the time. Could my food choices be causing this lethar- gy? DEAR DOC- lis'' contact her local Adult Protec- tive Services or Long-Term Care Ombudsman program (www.ltcom- budsman.org). Long-Term Care Ombudsmen are federally mandated, state certified volunteers dedicated to ensuring that individuals in long-term care facilities are treated with dignity. — Kathy Terry MS, Field Services Coordinator, Long-Term Care Ser- vices of Ventura County, California, Ombudsman Program In an effort to control medusa-head and yellow star thistle, invasive weeds plaguing ranchers and con- servationists alike, the Tehama-Glenn Unit of the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protec- tion (CalFire) will conduct a control burn on Wednes- day, June 20. The 262-acre burn of grass in the Dye Creek area is in partnership with the CalFire and Gallatin Ranch plan rangeland burns ble to the public. Nature Conservancy. Burn- ing will start about 9 a.m. and should be done by 4 p.m. This burn was sched- uled for last week but was postponed due to hot and windy weather conditions. CalFire will partner with the Gallatin Ranch on Thursday June 21, for a 737-acre burn of Tehama County rangeland. Burning will start about 8 a.m. and HAD A SMASHING WEEK? WE WILL GIBBS GIBBS NOW OFFERS RENTAL CARS M-F 8AM-5PM 527-2649 780 EAST AVE. (behind Food Maxx) STRAIGHTEN IT OUT. Voted BEST in Tehama County all 7 years 2006~2012 AUTO BODY REPAIR should be done by 4 p.m. Both burns will be con- ducted weather permitting. This year, the burns will incorporate a live fire train- ing course that will provide instruction for CalFire and local government firefight- ers in firing techniques and methods. The rangeland burn at the Gallatin Ranch is located in the Red Bank area of western Tehama County not generally visi- DEAR READ- ER: Most of us experience some mid-afternoon drowsiness — the "3 o'clock slump" or the "4 o'clock fade." But if you feel groggy throughout the day, that could be reason for concern. Fatigue often signals that something is wrong. Stress and depression, for exam- ple, often cause fatigue. Many diseases cause fatigue; among the more common are anemia and underactive thyroid. ing the burns with cooper- ating land managers under the Vegetation Manage- ment Program (VMP), a state-sponsored cost shar- ing program to encourage prescribed fires on private property. Burns will be implemented only if weather conditions meet prescribed parameters for a safe, effective operation. CAL FIRE is conduct- J. C. OLANDER, ATTORNEY AT LAW --STOP Foreclosure-- --STOP Creditor Harassment-- Get REAL, LEGAL, Debt Relief! FREE CONSULTATION 530-824-0288 www.jcolander.com Estate Planning--- ---We also help families with A federally qualified Debt Relief Agency under 11 U.S.C. 101(12(A)) Not eating often enough. Eating small meals and snacks throughout the day maintains your energy level better than eating one or two large meals. Eating fre- quently creates a steadier level of sugar in the blood, with less pronounced peaks and valleys. For most peo- ple, the ideal eating pattern is breakfast, lunch and din- ner, with light snacks in between. Overeating. A big meal floods your blood with sugar, giving you a tempo- rary energy lift. But this is quickly followed by an inevitable crash and feeling of lethargy. your energy level is usually minor. Still, nutritional fac- tors can contribute to fatigue. The impact of food on enough water and other flu- ids is important, too. Fatigue is one of the first signs of dehydration. Drink when you're thirsty to replenish what you lose. Drink extra water if you've consumed a caffeinated beverage or alcohol. And drink plenty of water before and during exercise. Vitamin and mineral Lack of fluids. Getting Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. easy to diagnose; your doc- tor just needs to order some simple blood tests. For most people, any deficiencies are easy to remedy with supple- ments. We have more informa- deficiencies. Being deficient in some vitamins and min- erals can cause fatigue. In the Unit- ed States, the most common deficien- cies are of iron, magnesium, dietary calcium, vitamin B- 12 and vitamin D. Vitamin and miner- al deficiencies are tion on fighting fatigue in our Special Health Report, "Boosting Your Energy." (Learn more about this report at AskDoctorK.com, or call 877-649-9457 toll- free to order it.) Fatigue-inducing foods. Milk, poultry, corn, brown rice, chickpeas, pumpkin seeds, peanuts, bananas, dates and chocolate all con- tain a nutrient (called L- tryptophan) that helps you feel relaxed and possibly fatigued. If you're prone to fatigue, avoid these foods in the middle of the day. Several years ago, one of my patients told me his Thanksgiving had been "ter- rible." Why? Because short- ly after the meal he became extremely sleepy and could- n't keep his eyes open dur- ing the football game! And he loved football, particular- ly the Detroit Lions, who traditionally play on Thanksgiving Day. He had eaten lots of peanuts before the meal, then an unusually large amount of turkey and pump- kin pie. He topped it off with a glass of hot chocolate. I hope he fell asleep before thinking about the number of calories he had con- sumed. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. $5 off Signature Service® Oil Change 190 S. Main St., Red Bluff 530-527-8264 Jiffy Lube, the Jiffy Lube design mark and Jiffy Lube Signature Service are registered trademarks of Jiffy Lube International, Inc. ©2011 Jiffy Lube International, Inc. DONATE YOUR VACATION newspaper dollars to the Newspaper In Education Program Support our classrooms, keep kids reading. HELP OUR CHILDREN DAILYNEWS For more details call Circulation Department (530) 527-2151 RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 PHONE: (530) 527-2151 FAX: (530) 527-5774 545 Diamond Avenue • P.O. Box 220 • Red Bluff, CA 96080