Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/685188
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Mysister often shares that she is upset about things I said or did years ago — some- times decades ago. Her pain is real, but I honestly don't remem- ber the events she is referencing. These are often small interac- tions — for instance, that I didn't lend her a sweater 23 years ago. I'm not comfortable apologiz- ing for something I don't remember. If I offer an apology that I'm sorry she's upset, it's not good enough be- cause it doesn't apologize for my actions. If I say I cannot remember, she says that I don't need to, that I should trust her memory of the events and apolo- gize profusely. And, if I don't, she'll stop speaking to me, often for many months, with conditions attached for when I may call or contact her. For instance, when I disregarded her instructions and sent her a birthday card, she told me I was "disrespectful." It's a vicious cycle of Apologize for Years Ago/ Prolonged Silence. Is there a way to break this cycle, or is it out of my control? Is it reasonable to always listen and only engage in apologies if I remember the infraction? How much time is reasonable for a person to process how they're feel- ing before they share they are upset? Is it disrespectful of me to make my own decisions about cards/ presents? —BetweenaRockand a Hard Place DEAR BETWEEN » Your sister is a difficult and challenging person, and if you want to have a relationship with her (are you sure you do?), you will have to engage in equal measures of patience and persistence. This interpersonal game she's playing is one that requires two players. I suggest that you do whatever you want to do from here on out, as long as it is respectful. Before fulfilling any demand, ask yourself, "Do I want to do this? Is this in my best interests?" You might choose to tell her, "I'm not play- ing the apology-game an ym o re ." As you alter your reactions, your sister may act out with more ferocity. If she doesn't like your behavior, she will have to find a way to cope with it, without insisting that you bend to her will. She is testing you by trying to control you. If she seems overly and persistently unhappy or anxious, you should recommend that she see a counselor, because what ails her is something that you can- not fix. Read, "Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You," by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier (1998, Wil- liam Morrow). Sister's demands for long ago offenses test the relationship You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Gemini(May21-June20)— An unexpected invite, opportu- nity or personal gain is apparent. Take care of your responsibili- ties early so you don't miss out on a chance to do something upbeat. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — If you host an event or invite friends to your residence, someone will offer to help you with a home-improvement project. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Your heart and your head will lead you in two different directions. A proposition will be impossible to ignore. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Refuse to disagree in order to avoid a quarrel. Allowing every- one to do his or her own thing will buy you freedom. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — A brief vacation or shopping spree will do you good. Getting out and enjoying what life has to offer will also spur you to gain more knowledge and experience. Romance is encouraged. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Put your goals and needs first. It's time to be a little self- ish in order to tackle projects that are important to you. Speak up and bring about change. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Don't take unnecessary risks with your money, reputa- tion or health. Protect against being taken advantage of or being led astray. Make personal and domestic moves. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — If you share your opinions, you'll get the help you require to put your plans in motion. Open your doors to group meetings, or start renovations that will add to your convenience and comfort. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — It's a good day to put more time and effort into self- and home-improvement projects that promise a better lifestyle and will point you in an exciting new direction. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Don't let added responsibili- ties get you down. Take care of your chores so that you can move on to more enjoyable pas- times. Reconnect with someone from your past. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Don't let emotional issues turn into a costly kerfuffle. Pick up new skills or sign up for a course that will help you use your knowledge and experience in unusual ways. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Do your homework before you decide to make a move. A new method of reaching one of your goals will reduce the energy necessary to meet it, resulting in a rewarding outcome. Horoscope By Eugenia Last SATURDAY, MAY 28 SATURDAY, MAY 28, 2016 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 5 B