Red Bluff Daily News

February 11, 2010

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6A – Daily News – Thursday, February 11, 2010 Dear Annie: I've been married for 29 years to a man I adore. We have had our ups and downs, but have weathered the storms because we both believe we are meant to be togeth- er. But we have a problem I don't know how to solve. ''Joe'' plays an online role-playing game that I have never been comfort- able with. And he always gets involved with some- one online, and it is always a woman. They can't advance in their game unless they work together. Several years ago, Joe became emotionally attached to another woman and left me for a while. When he came back, I thought those things were behind us, but I keep dis- covering lies. I know he meets up with this woman online every day while I am at work. My kids can hear the sound of her voice. My son was so upset, he wanted to move out of the house. This torments me so much that I can barely function at work. I love my job, but I cry in the bath- room, and people are start- ing to ask questions. I have finally realized that Joe is going to do this type of thing forever, and it breaks my heart. Joe treats me beautifully when we are together, but I don't want to share him with other women. I have asked his family for help, but they say Joe has a right to his relaxation and it shouldn't bother me. I am planning to start counseling before I have a ner- vous breakdown. I don't want to lose this man, but I have to save myself. Don't you think these women should consider the time they are spend- ing online with someone who is married? Is there any hope for me? — Crying Every Day Dear Crying: Don't blame ''these women'' for Joe's behavior. The world of online gaming has plen- ty of men he could team up with, but he obviously makes the effort to find females. Joe's history indi- cates he becomes attached to his online friends, which is unhealthy for your mar- riage. If he cannot see (or doesn't care about) the damage he is causing, things don't look good. We are glad you will be getting counseling. It will help. Dear Annie: My hus- band and I have five chil- dren together, and he has an older child from a previ- ous relationship. My question is about the firstborn of our five children. Our son passed away at the age of 9 months, but we still con- sider him part of our lives in so many ways. When asked how many children we have, what is the prop- er response? We don't want to leave out our first- born, but we also don't want to give the wrong impression. — Elkhart, Ind. Dear Elkhart: The answer is up to you and depends on how much per- sonal information you wish to divulge. If you prefer, it is OK to say you have six children. You are not oblig- ated to give any- one the details. However, if you are willing to talk about your first- born to those who ask this question, it might be com- forting for you to say you have six children, but one died as an infant. Dear Annie: I'd like to respond to ''At a Loss,'' the 16-year-old who wets the bed. I wet the bed until I was 17. So did my sister, my grandson and my nephew. Somewhere down the line, we inherited this from a relative. For me, it was my father. The good news? We all outgrew it by the time we were in our 20s. I recom- mend she get some adult diapers from a medical supply store and just put them in the trash in the morning. They worked wonderfully for my grand- son. I wish her luck and hope it's almost over with. — Mem Dear Mem: A certain percentage of bed-wetters outgrow it eventually. We're glad that worked for you. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e- mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.ne t, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Hubby addicted to Web hook ups Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: Do you have an archive online or other- wise of past columns? In the past month or two, I think you had a column entry that discussed the condition known as trigger finger. In the past two weeks, my hus- band has had a flare-up of this condition. He is 47, and his 78- year-old mother also suffers with trigger finger. Any advice or experience from you or my fellow readers/writers would be welcomed. Thank you. DEAR READER: First, let me discuss your husband's condition, and I'll expand on your inquiry from there. As you are aware, trigger finger is a condition in which a finger joint catches in a bent position. The joint appears as though the person has pulled the trigger of a gun. When the finger unlocks, it pops back suddenly, as if releasing that trigger, thus the name. Accompanying pain can often be controlled by icing and splinting or over-the-counter Advil, Aleve, Motrin and similar products. When OTCs fail to provide satisfactory results, it's time to consult a physician to determine the next step, which might be a cortisone injection or surgical release under local anesthesia. The procedure is relatively common, and your primary-care physician should be able to direct you to a local surgeon who can provide relief to your husband. In terms of his mother, she should weigh the degree of impact on her life. If she is truly troubled by the condition, her physician can review any other possible medical conditions that might have an impact on potential surgery and point her in the right direction for relief. Now, for the second part of your inquiry. I have been holding on to your letter for a number of months, awaiting my entry into the 21st century. I must confess yet again that I've been rather proud all these years to be a member of the Lead Pencil Club and a technophobe, as well. I began my column with a pad of paper in front of me, answering every question that has appeared in my column. And, believe it or not, I still do just that. Medicine is my field of expertise, not machinery. My office staff, which does some research on my behalf, has backed me against a wall and demanded my entry into the computer age. After what has seemed like an excessively long period of prepa- ration, I am pleased to announce that my column is now available at www.AskDr- GottMD.com. I am aware of my name and material appearing on several other sites; however, this is the only "official" site. Taking on the format of a newspaper column, it will contain new material and columns from the past. You can search for information on specific diseases and illnesses through dates of publication and can follow what my guest columnists have to say on a variety of medical topics. My initial plan is to run guest columns weekly, beginning on Sundays. Health Reports can be reviewed by title with readers being directed to download and print out an order blank for forwarding to the fulfillment center's address in Ohio. Then there is a contact page for readers to write to me through the Web site with their questions and concerns. I welcome input, both positive and negative. To test your question on trigger finger, I called up the site, typed in the words "trigger finger" and was immediately directed to my March 31, 2009, column titled "Recurring Trigger Finger Difficult to Treat." You can do the same and review my comments from that column. Gott enters the 21st century Dr. Peter Gott $ Money $ 2 Lend Cash 4 Notes McKinley Mortgage Co. CA DRE # 01773837 Call 530-241-0977 800-909-1977 Smog Check starting at $ 29 95 (most cars and pick-ups) Pass or FREE retest COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR + cert. All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES 527-9841 • 195 S. 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