Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/621240
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman PHOEBEANDHERUNICORN DanaSimpson ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Mybrother has two children, the old- est of whom he adopted when she was an infant. She is now an adolescent and I r ecentl y lea rned that he and his wife (the child's biological mother) have decided not to tell their daughter that she has a different biological father (who, according to them, is a drug addict). They said they will never tell her and are just hoping she never finds out. Their daughter's bio- logical father has family in their small town — some of her cousins even attend school with her. I am concerned that some- day, one of those cousins may tell her that they are related. Or that she may find out in some other less-than-ideal way. I know this isn't easy, even for highly function- ing adults (which, quite frankly, my brother and his wife are not), but I can't imagine them keep- ing it a secret forever. What about potential genetic health concerns? What about her potential desire to know her own ancestry? Is it a right for someone to know this? I feel uncomfortable hav- ing this information that seems relevant to her (I wish that somehow I didn't know this truth). I plan to honor my brother's request unless I am for some reason asked by his daughter directly, in which case I would suggest she talk to her parents. Can you give me some perspective? Am I being too nosy? How damaging is it for a child to stumble upon information like this, versus having it shared directly with them? What would you advise a parent like my brother in this situation? —ConcernedAunt DEAR AUNT » Children should be told the truth about their lives, even if it yields challenges. Imagine the burden that would be lifted on the parents, if they found a way to be honest about this — keeping this secret affects their family relationship in all sorts of unseen ways, as it has already affected their relationship with you and yours with your niece. If the child finds out from others, she may choose to hold this secret, too — creating a lingering chain of secrecy, and a burden. You should urge the parents to disclose the truth — with a profes- sional counselor's involve- ment. A family therapist can help guide both the adults and child, through the disclosure. I also agree with your choice not to override the parents' decision, but to make clear to them that you will never lie to the child if asked. DEAR AMY » I have some wisdom to impart. "Always assume positive intent" is the sales and service slogan for employ- ees of a large computer corporation. It works wonders in my marriage and relationships with my grown children. We keep it taped on our fridge as a friendly reminder. — Dianne DEAR DIANNE » Now it's going onto my fridge. Thank you! Parents choose to keep child's paternity a secret from her You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Capricorn(Dec.22-Jan. 19) — Take the safe route and pay attention to detail. Finan- cial choices must be handled shrewdly, especially if emotional issues are involved. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Avoid purchasing a product that promises the impossible. Focus on personal improve- ments that are a result of proper diet and fitness. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Getting involved in gossip or meddling in someone else's affairs will lead to trouble. In- novative ideas will lead to good fortune. Don't overspend. Aries (March 21-April 19) — You can expect a gift, winning or financial gain to come your way. Invest in your skills and don't settle for anything less. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Talks will lead to new deals, knowledge and the chance to engage in something novel. Business trips will pay off, and expressing your ideas will per- suade others to jump on board. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Approach joint ventures with caution. Don't get drawn into unrealistic plans that you can- not afford. A child or loved one will use emotional manipulation to get your attention. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Don't get into financial disputes. If someone wants you to invest or spend money, take a pass. Put your effort into your own creative ideas and improv- ing your home and family. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Take a break, and sign up for a relaxing or stress-relieving ac- tivity. Romance is highlighted, and planning upcoming projects and trips with someone special will bring you closer together. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Attend functions that allow you to share ideas with your contemporAries. Making a kind gesture will leave you feeling good. Refuse to let someone you love use emotional blackmail or guilt tactics. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Time is of the essence. Work quietly behind the scenes to avoid interference. Change is necessary, but how you go about it will be crucial. Don't let anger dominate your mind. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Mull over your plans and consider locations, organiza- tions and people who could contribute to your success. Make connections and establish your strategy. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Focus on home, family and the changes you can make to ensure that you are ready to head into the new year with greater optimism and stability. Horoscope By Eugenia Last WEDNESDAY, DEC. 30 WEDNESDAY,DECEMBER30,2015 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B