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10A Daily News – Saturday, April 14, 2012 FEATURES Readers respond to selfish hubby Eating disorders affect all ages Dear Annie: I read the letter from ''Upstate New York Where It's 20 Degrees Outside.'' said his wife has hot flashes and wants to set the thermostat down, but he likes it at 74 so he can run around in his underwear. She's ready to move out. He thinks she's being selfish. We also are from upstate New York, and I think he is the selfish one. He can dress in lay- ers, put on a sweater or buy himself a parka. On the other hand, there is just so much that she can take off. Yes, he may pay the bills, but I wonder who cooks, cleans, does the laundry, shops and cares for the children. — Long-Time Reader, First-Time Responder He Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar toward your part- ner. Indiana: No one needs to suf- fer from hot flashes. As soon as my doctor pre- scribed an anti- depressant, it was like some- one flipped a switch. woman in her eighth year of hot flashes and night sweats, I have learned some coping skills. Many women cannot take hormone replace- ment. I have found some relief in yoga, breathing techniques and mindful meditation. I suggest the wife find a room she can call her own and keep it at a temperature that is comfortable for her. This time is a natural progression in women's lives and should be embraced. Chicago: As a Reader: That letter made a lot of readers ''hot'' under the collar. Read on for more: From Wisconsin: Dear Long-Time I hope her journey is a short one. California: Tell him to turn the heat down and put the money he saves toward those mortgage payments he is so smug about. Better yet, donate it to a chari- ty that helps cover ener- gy bills for those who aren't able to pay them. Boston: I have never in my long life said this to anyone, but what a jerk! My husband and I have had this same prob- lem. Our thermostat is set at 69. He wears sweats and warm slip- pers, and I wear T-shirts. This is not about who pays the mortgage, but about your attitude years ago, due to surgery, I had hot flash- es. An acquaintance told me her ob-gyn recom- mended vitamin E. It worked! It took six weeks to kick in, but, oh, the relief! Georgia: I urge you Thirty Upstate New York: What an inconsiderate husband. It's his choice to wear nothing around the house, so he should be willing to suffer the consequences. We keep our house at 65 degrees. Sweaters and slippers are comfortable and healthier than 74 degrees. We sleep well and even better when I get the gas bill. Last time I checked, it was ''our'' house, not ''my'' house. California: I have had brief hot flashes since 2008. They only seem to last forever. I have a hand fan by my bed and recliner, and I carry a folding one in my purse. In the winter, I step outside for a few minutes. I take care of myself without inconve- niencing anyone else, but I will be glad when they are over. to exercise extreme cau- tion in recommending natural remedies for hot flashes. These treat- ments are unregulated and can contain a vari- ety of harmful sub- stances, and they don't have to have any of these on their labels. People should be very careful. For further information, contact the Centers for Disease Control toxicology divi- sion in Atlanta. Florida: I've been in that gentleman's shoes for a number of years and had the same com- plaint. Six months ago, however, I suffered male hot flashes as a result of a hormone imbalance. Having been on the other side, I can tell him that it is a very unpleas- ant experience and one over which you have no control. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast. net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Q: I am a 55-year-old woman who struggled with an eating disor- der (anorexia) during my teen years. As I get older, it's becoming harder and harder to keep excess weight off, and I'm afraid I may be slipping back into unhealthy old behaviors to lose weight. Are eating disorders common in older women? What can I do to avoid unhealthy habits? A: In a sense, it's good that you time planning what to eat and not to eat and how to get enough exercise? — Do you gravitate toward still take pride in your appearance. In fact, many baby boomers are experi- encing a disconnect between how old they feel and their chronological age. In a 2009 Pew Research Center survey, half of people in their late 60s and early 70s said they felt at least 10 to 20 years younger than their actu- al age. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, try to shift your conversations and mental energy away from food and body awareness. If this proves difficult, consider consulting a mental health profes- sional. health regimens that involve purg- ing or restricting food — for exam- ple, going gluten- or yeast-free, becoming a vegan, fasting, or doing colonics or cleanses? Feeling youthful inside is great, but a glance in the mirror may bring you up short. No matter how young you feel, you're likely to see some wrinkles, sags, tummy fat and less firm muscles, due to the weakening elas- tic tissue and natural muscle loss that come with aging. many unrealistic images aimed squarely at mature women. Of course, you know that when you see a model or celebrity touted as looking "good for her age," it's the work of plastic surgeons, colorists, stylists and air- brushers — but your unretouched body image can't help but suffer by comparison. If you feel you should look as good as celebrities your own age, even though their public images may be artificial, your self- esteem can suffer. And this can, in turn, lead to extreme eating habits aimed at weight loss, without regard for your own well-being. Since you have a past history of eating disor- ders, you're more susceptible than most. Here are some questions to help you assess whether body image and food con- cerns are crowding out other important parts of your life: At the same time, we're surrounded by — Do you worry about your body and your age more than your friends do? What efforts do you make to hide the effects of aging? an extra five years and attaining your perfect weight, would you pick attaining your per- fect weight? — If you had the choice between living — Do you and your friends spend a lot of time discussing diets, weight, your looks, gym routines, etc.? — Do you spend an inordinate amount of — Does the number on the scale deter- mine your mood for the day? Eating disorders are usually regarded as a problem of adolescents and young women; their prevalence among older women is less clear. Secrecy and shame often accompany these disorders, and women may not seek help — particularly if they fear being forced to gain unwanted weight or stigmatized as having a "teenager's disease." Despite the underdiagnosis of eating dis- orders in older people, health professionals are now reporting an upswing in requests for help from older women. For some of these women, the problem is new, while others have struggled with disordered eating for decades. In a 2010 study at the Oregon Health & Science University, women ages 65 to 80 were just as likely as young adult women to feel fat or concerned about their body shape. This dissatisfaction matters. People with eating disorders are usually intensely unhap- py about their body shape and size. A nega- tive body image can suggest or prefigure a full-blown eating disorder — or a "sub-clin- ical" problem in which a woman never becomes alarmingly thin but organizes her life around food and weight control. First, you need a thorough medical exam- ination. Certain medical conditions that cause rapid weight loss, interfere with appetite, or make eating difficult can be con- fused with an eating disorder. Tell your doctor about any experiences with weight loss or gain, eating disorder behaviors or use of drugs to control weight. Your doctor also needs to know about any emotional problems you're confronting, including depression and anxiety. After tak- ing a history and performing a physical, she or he may order certain tests, such as an elec- trocardiogram to check for arrhythmia, labo- ratory tests for metabolic imbalances, or a bone density scan). And if your doctor feels you could benefit from an expert in eating concerns, ask for a referral to a specialist. FINAL DAYS! 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