Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/589083
OCTOBER 21-27, 2015 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS High, I Think I Love You Two friends of mine are in "love at first sight" relationships. (One went from chills at seeing the guy to moving in with him weeks later.) Each has said to me, "When it's right, you just know." Well, as I get to know this new guy I'm seeing, I like him more and more. It's just not the instant love of the century like they have, and that makes me feel a little bad. – Lacking Thunderbolts Love at first sight is made out to be the rare, limited-edition Prada purse of relationships — that extra-special luvvier kind of love that we romantic commoners don't get access to. However, what the "first-sighters" actually have is not the enduring love poets write about but the kind animal behaviorists do — when the boy baboon spots the girl baboon's big red booty. People in this fleeting first phase of love are basically on a biochemical bender, high off their asses from raging hormones and neurotransmitters, and shouldn't be operating heavy machinery or making plans any heavier than where to show up for dinner on Tuesday. Those who end up staying together will often sniff, "We just knew!" — which sounds better than "We are idiots who got hitched 20 minutes after meeting and got lucky we turned out to be well-matched." Their initial belief that they're perfect for each other is probably driven by a cognitive bias — an error in reasoning — that psychologists call "the halo effect." Like the glow cast by a halo, the glow from "Wow, she's hot!" spills over, leading to an unsupportedly positive view of a person's as-yet-unseen qualities. But, early in a relationship, you can only guess how someone will behave — say, at 3 a.m., when you're awakened by period cramps that feel as if some big Vegas boxing match accidentally got scheduled in your uterus. Will he mumble "feel better" and roll over or go to the drugstore and roll you home a barrel of hippo-strength Midol? Maybe real romance is finding out all the ways somebody's disturbingly human and loving them anyway. This happens about a year in, after the party manners have fallen off and after you see — for example — whether your partner fights ugly or like someone who loves you but thinks you've temporarily fallen into the idiot bin. In other words, you're wise to get to know this guy instead of immediately drawing little sparkly hearts in your head about your magical future together. Keep unpacking who you both are and see whether you keep wanting more — or whether one of you goes out for a smoke and, a month later, sends a postcard from the Netherlands. Copyright AMY ALKON WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The bold, shameless leering of David Zaitzeff is legendary around Seattle's parks, and more so since he filed a civil complaint against the city in September challenging its anti-voyeurism law for placing a "chilling effect" on his photography of immodestly dressed women in public. Though he has never been charged with a crime, he roams freely (and apparently joyously) around short- skirted and swimsuit-clad "gals" while himself often wearing only a thong and bearing a "Free Hugs and Kisses" sign. Zaitzeff 's websites "extol" public nudity, wrote the Seattle Post- Intelligencer, and explain, for example, that a woman who angles her "bod" to offer a view of "side boob" is fair game for his camera. Zaitzeff 's complaint — that the law criminalizes photography of a person's "intimate areas" (clothed or not) without explicit permission — is distressing him. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer via SFGate.com, 9-17-2015] Democracy Blues Randy Richardson, 42, vying unopposed for the Riceville, Iowa, school board (having agreed to run just because he has two kids in school) failed to get any votes at all — as even he was too busy on election day (Sept. 8) to make it to the polls (nor were there any write-ins). To resolve the 0-0 result, the other board members simply appointed Richardson to the office. Riceville, near the Minnesota border, is a big-time farming community, and registered voters queried by The Des Moines Register said they just had too much fieldwork to do that day. [Associated Press via U.S. News & World Report, 9-20-2015] Medical Marvels Researchers recently came upon a small community (not named) in the Dominican Republic with an unusual incidence of adolescent boys having spent the first decade or so of their lives as girls because their penises and testes did not appear until puberty. A September BBC News dispatch referred to the boys as "Guevedoces" and credited the community for alerting researchers, who ultimately developed a drug to replace the culprit enzyme whose absence was causing the problem. (The full shot of testosterone that should have been delivered in the mother's womb was not arriving until puberty.) [BBC News, 9-20-2015] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES- Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you can't seem to focus your attention on one thing this week. However, wandering thoughts may put you in touch with some better ideas. TAURUS- Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, you may like to tackle projects on your own, but sometimes letting someone else pitch in can provide a fresh perspective and a new way of doing things. GEMINI- May 22/Jun 21 It's time to get serious about your job- seeking efforts, Gemini. Start putting out feelers and see what is available. Also, fine- tune your resume to get noticed. CANCER- Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, while success brings you many things, it can feel lonely at the top. Make some time to reconnect and hang out with friends this week. LEO- Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, listen more than you speak in the coming days. You can learn so much more by remaining quiet and taking it all in, and others will appreciate your attentiveness. VIRGO- Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, after an exciting event, life may seem a little mundane for a while. Happiness is what you make of it. Try a new hobby or make some new friends. LIBRA- Sept 23/Oct 23 Expand your social circles and you may meet some influential new people, Libra. This can only help your reputation and open up new doors to various opportunities. SCORPIO- Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, take control of a situation that comes to light this week. No one else seems capable of taking the reins but you. Chances are you will be an excellent leader. SAGITTARIUS- Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, you may be unable to keep everything organized this week. Don't fret, as you need not be in complete control at every moment. CAPRICORN- Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, you may be inspired to do something creative but don't know where to begin. Pisces may be a good source of inspiration. You can work on a project together. AQUARIUS- Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, make the necessary changes in your life to put primary goals back on target. These may be career or fitness goals or even plans to increase family time. PISCES- Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, this week may start off a little differently than most, but by midweek you will find your groove. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard