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4B Daily News – Tuesday, March 6, 2012 FEATURES Self-centered siblings steam sentient soul Dear Annie: My father is 87 years old and has con- gestive heart failure. I am the youngest of four sib- lings, two of whom live out of town. For some reason, everything falls on me. We pay for a caregiver to come in for four hours a day, but she leaves at noon. My brother sometimes takes over until I get home from work, at which point I stay until my husband relieves me. Then I go home to change clothes and return. I have not enjoyed the comfort of my own bed for a while. On weekends, my hus- band and I take care of Dad together. When my two out-of-state sib- lings last came to visit, I told them this is too much for me and I have no time for myself or my family. One told me he didn't care about my life, that all he cared about was Dad not being alone. I told him to ask the neighbor how many hours I am with Dad. He became angry and said that after Dad dies, he never wants to see me again. I left my father's house and decided if that's the way it's going to be, I'll take the night shift and stay with Dad from 8 p.m. to 7 a.m. every day, but no more. If they want additional coverage, they'll have to do it themselves or pay for it. One of my brothers can fly here anytime he wants. Dad doesn't know we argued, Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar and I don't plan to tell him. I took care of my mother when she was ill and don't appreciate being treated this way. I think it's time every- one contributed their fair share. — Hurting in Texas Dear Hurting: Your sib- lings are being terribly unfair to you, but that's not uncommon in these circum- stances. Can your other sib- lings contribute financially to extend the caregiver's time during the day? Would it make sense to put your father in an assisted-living facility or let him move in with one of you? You might also look into respite care so you and your husband can get a break. Check the National Family Caregivers Association (thefamily- caregiver.org) for resources and support. Dear Annie: My boyfriend recently broke up with me via text message, stating that I "'deserve better.'' He leads a very active and busy life, and so do I. He also told me our relationship wouldn't last and was- n't going anywhere. But the funny part is, he keeps inviting me out. I did go over to his place, and he apologized and said he regretted the breakup. But he added that in the long run, it was for the best. He keeps asking me to stay all night, and he holds me real tight. I am confused. What should I do? — Devastated Dear Devastated: Walk away from this manipulative guy. He's looking for ''friends with benefits,'' not a real relationship. He's been honest enough to say there is no future for the two of you. That much you can believe. Dear Annie: I read with interest the letter from ''Troubled in Talla- hassee,'' whose supervisor is con- stantly interrupting her. While your suggestions are help- ful if her claims are true, I was sur- prised you did not mention that one reason why her supervisor inter- rupts might be to keep her on point. I have supervised many employees in my life, and it never fails that at least one employee in a group feels the need to prattle on endlessly about tedious details, sometimes totally unrelated to the topic. I suggest you add to your advice the suggestion that ''Troubled'' trim down her responses to ''just the facts, ma'am,'' and rely on her super- visor to ask any questions if further information is needed. — No Time for Nonsense in Imperial, Penn. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Tough enough to RIDE pink? Courtesy photo Red Bluff Yamaha donated a hefty discount for the purchase of a customized "Tough Enough to Wear Pink"Polaris Razor ATV, which will go to the highest bidder at a live auction at the Red Bluff Round-Up on Sunday, April 22.Auc- tion proceeds will go to the Imaging Center at St. Elizabeth Community Hospital to support its mammography program,funding the hospi- tal's ability to offer free mammograms to dis- enfranchised people in need, as well as the general population. This is the sixth year the "Tough Enough to Wear Pink" organization has secured the donation of a major auction item to support the hospital resulting in nearly $150,000 donated to the national campaign that has raised $10 million. Pictured are Robert Carrel, owner of Red Bluff Yamaha; Greg Stevens, chairman of the Red Bluff- Tehama County Chamber of Commerce; Sister Pat Manoli and Todd Smith from St. Elizabeth Community Hospital; Jolene Kemen, Round- Up director and representing the Round-Up's "Tough Enough to Wear Pink" committee, and Dave Ramelli, president of the Round-Up board of directors. Cardiac rehab just what doctor ordered DEAR DOC- TOR K: I recently had a heart attack. Now my doctor wants me to start cardiac rehabilita- tion. Is it danger- ous for me to start exercising so soon? DEAR READ- ER: I understand your concern. Not that long ago, rest was exactly what the doctor ordered after a heart attack. Taking it easy, the thinking went, would help the heart heal more quick- ly. Now, doctors know that inactivity doesn't help your heart or the rest of your body. Exercise actu- ally strengthens your heart, if you do it correct- ly. And it helps your mus- cles use oxygen more effi- ciently, easing the heart's workload. Cardiac rehabilitation is a medically supervised program. It's designed to help you heal your heart and keep it healthy. The centerpiece of car- diac rehab is usually a structured and supervised exercise program. Your initial attempts at exercise are closely monitored in a medical setting. You start off exercising slowly, for short periods, and gradu- ally increase the pace. Monitoring can spot any heart problems that may develop while you exer- cise. You should start car- diac rehab a month or so after a heart attack or bypass surgery. You can start even sooner after angioplasty. Rehab programs also teach you how to manage your risk factors for heart disease. These include weight management, nutrition, stress reduction and quitting smoking. The staff typically includes doctors, nurses, exercise specialists, phys- ical and occupational therapists, nutritionists and psychologists. You should expect to go to the rehab facility for a few hours, one to three times a week. Some peo- Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. ple attend for just a few weeks. Oth- ers continue for months. Ask your doctor if the pro- gram is certified by the American Association of Cardiovascular and Pulmonary Rehabilitation (AACVPR). Properly super- vised exercise not only is healthy for your heart after a heart attack, it also introduces many people to exercise for the first time as an adult. I had a patient who was a world-class couch pota- to. He hadn't done any- thing remotely resembling exercise since his high school phys-ed class. In his late 50s he had a heart attack. Not surprisingly, he wasn't a happy camper the first few days on a sta- tionary bicycle. But by the third week of cardiac rehab he told me, "This isn't so bad." By the end of the second month, he noticed he was feeling happier and more ener- getic than he had since high school. That was 20 years ago, and he has exercised near- ly every day since. And he hasn't had another prob- lem with his heart. Still need some con- vincing? People who par- ticipate in cardiac rehab are less likely to die dur- ing the first few years fol- lowing a heart attack or procedure. Participating in rehab can also improve your quality of life. And you may enjoy exercising with people who've gone through a similar experi- ence. We have more informa- tion on cardiac rehabilita- tion in our Special Health Report, "Heart Disease: A Guide to Preventing and Treating Coronary Artery Disease." You can find out more about it at my web- site. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. CARE TO COMMENT? At redbluffdailynews.com, scroll to the end of any story, click the link and type away. Support our classrooms, keep kids reading. 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