Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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JULY 8-14, 2015 UCW 17 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Emotion Sickness Last week, my girlfriend was all annoyed about something (something relatively unimportant). I'm normally not a bad listener, but I was getting stressed out just hearing about this. I blurted out, "Calm down!" and she really flipped, yelling, "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!" It took me forever (and lots of "I'm sorrrreeee"s) to get her to mellow out. I mentioned this incident to a friend, and he said, "Man, don't you know? You never say that to a woman!" Please explain. — Mr. Doghouse Many people believe the myth that the typical man is about as emotionally sensitive as the typical hammer. However, neuroscientist Tor Wager looked at the findings from 65 brain imaging studies and found that — overall — men's brains weren't any less responsive to emotional stimuli than women's. However, Wager's study and others did find sex differences, like that women seem more likely to experience negative emotions — fear, anxiety, and depression. Women also seem to be more emotionally expressive — verbally and in writing — and better at processing emotions, so they're less likely to end up feeling dragged out back and beaten up by them. To a man, an irate woman's sharing of her emotional drama can be a bit like her sharing her Drano-tini. Relationships researcher John Gottman explains that men can become physiologically overwhelmed from stressful conversation alone, getting "flooded" with stress hormones and feeling physically ill and desperate to withdraw. This happens through a "misattribution of arousal," which means that your brain subconsciously (and instantaneously) puts mere talk that has a stressful vibe into the wrong bin — the "fight or flight" bin that alerts you, "Run from that tiger!" In response, adrenaline surges, your heart races, sweat beads up, and parts of your brain and body that aren't vital for bolting the hell out of there shut down. The thing is, running away — as your body has primed you to do — would metabolize the stress hormones. But when you just sit there, the stress hormones just sit there, pooling, poisoning you, leading to sickening feelings. The natural impulse is to take shelter from the adrenaline storm — to escape and go off and recover — but this is hard to explain in any articulate and emotionally sensitive way in the moment. Of course, the problem here wasn't that she needed to calm down, but that you did. Going for a run wouldn't be a bad idea. However, in the spirit of better male/female communication, you need to tell your girlfriend your plan. No, you can't just flash her a look of panic and bolt out the door — though being chased down the street by an enraged woman clutching your renaissance faire crossbow should do wonders in diminishing that nasty adrenaline buildup. AMY ALKON Copyright 2015 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Gregory Reddick, 54, and his employer, SJQ Sightseeing Tours, filed a lawsuit in June against New York City for "harass(ing)" them and hampering their ability to rip off tourists, specifically, interfering with their "right" to sell tickets for $200 or more for trips on the Staten Island Ferry — which is actually free to ride. Reddick was wearing an (unauthorized) "Authorized Ticket Agent" jacket when arrested, and according to a New York Post account, believes he operates legally because he misunderstands a technicality in a 2013 court case. Prosecutors, who described the waterfront tourist- exploitation scene as "the wild west," found Reddick with seven dates of birth, five aliases and six Social Security numbers. [gothamist.com, 6-5-2015] Can't Possibly Be True Doctors at a hospital in Dongyang, China, removed 420 kidney stones from a single patient in June (a "Mr. He"). One of the surgeons told reporters that a soy-heavy diet of tofu was probably to blame. According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the most stones removed from one kidney during surgery (in India in 2009 in a three-hour operation) is (this is not a misprint) 172,155. [Qianjiang Evening Post via BBC News, 6-8-2015] In May, the Museum of Modern Arts in Krakow, Poland, began showing a video of naked men and women entering a room and playing a game of tag — then revealing that that particular room was actually a building in a Holocaust gas-chamber facility in Auschwitz. The idea, apparently, was to bring three affected nations (Poland, Germany and Israel) together, and among the sponsors of the exhibit was the Israeli embassy in Warsaw, despite criticism that the work was somewhat "repulsive and offensive." (A similar project opened in Tartu, Estonia, in February, but was closed almost immediately after objections from Jewish-advocacy organizations.) [ Jerusalem Online, 6-5-2015] Copyright CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, changes on the horizon have you excited. Something may come up that appears to compromise your plans, but keep an open mind and everything will work out. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, give into your feelings and throw caution to the wind this week. You might shock someone by doing something risky. Explore this boldness if it suits you. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 You are a born leader, Gemini. You are normally comfortable designating tasks and overseeing their completion, but you may have to get your hands dirty this week. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 You may experience a breakthrough this week, Cancer. You have been toiling over something for some time now, and you finally have the information you need. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you have a lot of enthusiasm and are ready to share it with others. Devote your time to a worthy project or host a social event to bring friends together. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, you normally like to take things step-by-step, but excitement this week may find you taking a less careful approach. Ask a friend to keep you in check. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, an important decision is awaiting you. Weigh all of your options before making a final decision. Giving yourself more time is the more prudent move. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, many career opportunities are available to you. Decide if you want to stay where you are or if change will serve you better over the long haul. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 This can be a good week for you, Sagittarius. Many things are going your way, and you needn't worry about plans falling apart. Friends will help out as needed. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 You may be feeling bored and pressured to make some changes, Capricorn. Before you make any changes, be sure you are making them for the right reasons. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, this week you may be challenged by circumstances that prevent you from straying too far from home. You might desire a vacation, but it's on hold for now. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 A new project at work excites you, Pisces. This may open up more opportunities in the weeks ahead, so give your best effort. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard