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8A Daily News – Friday, December 16, 2011 FEATURES Grandiose gifts garner grandsons' grief Dear Annie: I've written you before, but this time I hit the send button. I have three grandchil- dren. One is biologically related, and the other two are my daughter's stepchil- dren from two previous relationships. The older child currently lives with his father, who has an enor- mous family. The middle child had no contact with his father until age 4, and then the dad re-entered his life and tripled his extended family. They have lots of money and want to make up for lost time, so they shower this child with gifts, toys, clothes and special trips. We are dreading Christmas. The older boy will get lots of stuff from his paternal family, and the middle boy will get a huge windfall. But the youngest child will get only the small amount we can afford. I will spend the same amount of money on all the children because I treat my grandchildren the same. The problem is, the two older boys look down on the presents from us because they aren't as good as what their paternal grandparents purchase. And the youngest boy feels slighted because he doesn't get as much as his brothers do. The older boys aren't told to share or stop being selfish. How do we make sure all three boys feel equal? — Trying To Be Fair Dear Fair: There is no way you can compete with the other grand- Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar parents, so please stop berat- ing yourself or the boys for the inequity. Children enjoy presents, but they rarely appreciate them beyond the first few days. Instead of focusing on the material, consider giving the grand- children the gift of your time. There are plenty of free or inexpensive things you can do with each indi- vidual boy that will make him feel special and loved. Present them with a ''gift certificate'' for, say, a Saturday at the zoo or the park, a camping trip, a special dinner or volunteering. Gear your gifts toward that particu- lar child's interests, and it will not only become something they look forward to, but a way to create last- ing memories. Dear Annie: I am a 72-year-old man living in a senior citizen apart- ment complex. I'm fit, active and in good health, and I still love the ladies. (They outnumber us about 10 to one.) I always behave like a gentleman when I go out with a lady, and I get along fine with them until the sub- ject of sex comes up. I am sensitive and don't bring it up until we've been out a few times and have got- ten to know each other pretty well. My question is: Why are older women absolutely terrified of sex? To me, it's the natural thing to do after a relationship has progressed to a certain point. I don't get it. What are they afraid of? — Love- less in Spokane Dear Spokane: They may be afraid that you will be disappointed with their aging bodies, that they will feel inadequate and unattrac- tive, that they may contract an STD, or that you will lose interest once you have slept with them. But we suspect you may be misinterpreting their response. They may not be ter- rified, but rather repelled by the idea of sex. They enjoy the courting and cuddling, but that's it. However, not all older women feel this way, so by all means, keep looking. Dear Annie: Like ''Baffled,'' we also had an issue with our neighbor when we installed the first fence. The neighbor came out with a ruler and was flipping it end over end to prove our survey was incorrect. We can laugh about this now, but at the time, it was ugly. Tell ''Baf- fled'' that once the fence is estab- lished, the neighbor will get used to it and perhaps, like our neighbor, will actually compliment them on how nice the yard looks. They will soon learn the old saying, ''Good fences make good neighbors.'' — B.T.D.T. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. IRS offers tips for year-end giving Individuals and busi- nesses making contribu- tions to charity should keep in mind several important tax law provisions that have taken effect in recent years. Some of these changes include the following: Special Charitable Con- tributions for Certain IRA Owners This provision, currently scheduled to expire at the end of 2011, offers older owners of individual retire- ment accounts (IRAs) a dif- ferent way to give to charity. An IRA owner, age 70_ or over, can directly transfer tax-free up to $100,000 per year to an eligible charity. This option, created in 2006, is available for distri- butions from IRAs, regard- less of whether the owners itemize their deductions. Distributions from employ- er-sponsored retirement plans, including SIMPLE IRAs and simplified employee pension (SEP) plans, are not eligible. To qualify, the funds must be contributed directly by the IRA trustee to the eli- gible charity. Amounts so transferred are not taxable and no deduction is avail- able for the transfer. Not all charities are eligi- ble. For example, donor- advised funds and support- ing organizations are not eli- gible recipients. Amounts transferred to a charity from an IRA are counted in determining whether the owner has met the IRA's required mini- mum distribution. Where individuals have made nondeductible contributions to their traditional IRAs, a special rule treats trans- ferred amounts as coming first from taxable funds, instead of proportionately from taxable and nontax- able funds, as would be the case with regular distribu- tions. See Publication 590, Individual Retirement Arrangements (IRAs), for more information on quali- fied charitable distributions. Rules for Clothing and Household Items To be deductible, cloth- ing and household items donated to charity generally must be in good used condi- tion or better. A clothing or household item for which a taxpayer claims a deduction of over $500 does not have to meet this standard if the taxpayer includes a quali- fied appraisal of the item with the return. Household items include furniture, fur- nishings, electronics, appli- ances and linens. Guidelines for Monetary Donations To deduct any charitable donation of money, regard- less of amount, a taxpayer must have a bank record or a written communication from the charity showing the name of the charity and the date and amount of the contribution. Bank records include canceled checks, bank or credit union state- ments, and credit card state- ments. Bank or credit union statements should show the name of the charity, the date, and the amount paid. Credit card statements should show the name of the charity, the date, and the transaction posting date. Donations of money include those made in cash or by check, electronic funds transfer, credit card and payroll deduction. For payroll deductions, the tax- payer should retain a pay stub, a Form W-2 wage statement or other docu- ment furnished by the employer showing the total amount withheld for charity, along with the pledge card showing the name of the charity. These requirements for the deduction of monetary donations do not change the long-standing requirement that a taxpayer obtain an acknowledgment from a charity for each deductible donation (either money or property) of $250 or more. However, one statement containing all of the required information may meet both requirements. Reminders To help taxpayers plan their holiday-season and year-end giving, the IRS offers the following addi- tional reminders: • Contributions are deductible in the year made. • Check that the organi- zation is qualified. Only donations to qualified orga- nizations are tax-deductible. • For individuals, only taxpayers who itemize their deductions on Form 1040 Schedule A can claim deductions for charitable contributions. This deduc- tion is not available to indi- viduals who choose the standard deduction, includ- ing anyone who files a short form (Form 1040A or 1040EZ). • For all donations of property, including clothing and household items, get from the charity, if possible, a receipt that includes the name of the charity, date of the contribution, and a rea- sonably-detailed description of the donated property. If a donation is left at a charity's unattended drop site, keep a written record of the dona- tion that includes this infor- mation, as well as the fair market value of the property at the time of the donation and the method used to determine that value. Addi- tional rules apply for a con- tribution of $250 or more. • If the amount of a tax- payer's deduction for all noncash contributions is over $500, a properly-com- pleted Form 8283 must be submitted with the tax return. Too much screen time unhealthy DEAR DOC- TOR K: I'm starting to think I have an unhealthy addiction to electronic media. I spend a lot of time on social network- ing sites, on the Internet, playing video games and watching TV. Basi- cally, I think I spend too much time star- ing at various screens. How bad is this for me? DEAR READER: We all Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. something remind- ing them of their drug. None of this evidence proves that you can really be addicted to elec- tronic media, but it suggests that it's possible. Here are three tips for cutting back on minor but unhealthy habits: (1) Find a healthier alter- have habits that we'd be bet- ter off without. Sometimes they creep up on us before we notice. If your various types of "screen time" are taking over your life, it's time to take stock. Wanting to change is the necessary first step. There's a big difference between dealing with a minor unhealthy habit and an addiction. You can fix the former yourself. The latter calls for more serious inter- vention, additional support and professional help. In my opinion, trolling the Internet night after night is a slightly unhealthy habit. So is watching hours and hours of TV, and spending more time on social media than in person with friends and family. I know there are people who will disagree with me. Call me old-fash- ioned. Why do I believe these behaviors are unhealthy? In extreme cases, they appear to alter brain function in a way that's similar to drug addiction. One Korean study looked at people who played computer games for more than 30 hours a week. These people reported that they couldn't cut back on playing even though they wanted to. When the addicted sub- jects were placed in an MRI machine and reminded of the game, their brains react- ed similarly to the brains of drug addicts who are shown native. Call a friend or fami- ly member to connect if you're feeling lonely, instead of spending hours on the Internet. (2) Set your sights on reducing your habit by half each day or week. After you've succeeded at this, try going without. Skip your habit entirely one day a week. Then try two days (or more). (3) Practice saying no. Watch out for peer pressure, good-natured or not. Let friends and family know in advance that you're trying to cut back and ask them for their support. I have a patient who became overwhelmed by his Facebook page and barrage of tweets from Twitter. He decided to take a month off and just disap- peared from the social net- works. When he tuned back in a month later, he found some angry notes from buddies. He thought about it a while. Then he decided to take a middle- ground position: He didn't stay completely offline, but he greatly scaled back the number of messages he initiated or responded to. Last I heard, his friends were still giving him a hard time, but he was OK with that. Ultimately, nipping an unhealthy habit in the bud can help you improve your health, save money and reconnect with people and activities you enjoy. Wildlife board funds projects At its Dec. 8 meeting, the Wildlife Conservation Board (WCB) earmarked $22.3 million to help restore and protect fish and wildlife habitat throughout Cali- fornia, including one in Tehama County. A $1.1 million grant to the Northern California Regional Land Trust for a cooperative project with West- ern Rivers Conservancy and DFG to acquire fee title to approximately 599 acres of land for the expansion of the Lassen Foothills Conservation Area, northeast of Chico along State Highway 32 in Tehama County. The project will protect about 1.4 miles of riparian corridor along Deer Creek and surrounding forest and oak woodlands, including habitat for deer and moun- tain lion, Chinook salmon, the western pond turtle and the mountain yellow-legged frog. It will also allow the expansion of appropriate wildlife-oriented public use. The 19 funded projects will provide benefits to fish and wildlife species, including some endangered species, and increase public access to these lands. Sev- eral projects also demonstrate the importance of pro- tecting working landscapes that integrate economic, social and environmental stewardship practices benefi- cial to the environment and the landowner. The funds for all of these projects come from recent bond initia- tives approved by the voters to help preserve and pro- tect California's natural resources. For more information about the WCB, please visit www.wcb.ca.gov. Mobile Pet Vaccinations Bulb Planting Class Sat., Dec. 17th 10:00 am Gift Shop is full of Hostess Gifts & Gift Cards! 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