Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/456991
FEBRUARY 4-10, 2015 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Rants Tomb I'm a woman in my early 20s. I do fine getting dates, but only first dates. And no, I'm not having sex with guys on the first date, but I still never hear from them again. I ran into one of these guys at a party and begged him to tell me what had gone wrong. He said, "You're kind of intense." I asked him to explain, and he said, "You do a lot of talking." I do talk a lot, but I'm informed and opinionated. Do I really have to be some mute little woman to get second dates? — Man Repellant Consider that there's a middle ground between channeling Nancy Grace and playing a shy geisha hiding behind her fan. And sorry, but being "informed" and "opinionated" does not give you a pass to turn a date into a re-education camp with wine and entrees. In fact, this sort of conversational takeover is like a toupee; it usually ends up calling attention to whatever it was supposed to cover up (self- worth issues, nervousness, or maybe a need to push people away, despite putting yourself out there like you want a relationship). To see more of these guys than their exhaust as they drive away forever, be mindful of the purpose of a date: getting to know somebody, not getting to know how they look listening to you. As for all this information you're excited to impart, ironically, the way you get somebody interested in listening to you is by showing interest in them. You do that by listening to them — really listening (from the gut, not just nodding while waiting for them to take a breath so you can shoehorn in your next point). Being willing to share the conversational space isn't a sign you're some empty dress of a woman; quite the contrary. It's what secure people do -- connecting with others instead of pepper-spraying them with words. Try an experiment on your next few dates. Say as little as possible about yourself all evening. Answer questions about yourself when asked, but focus on asking your date about who he is and what he thinks. Chances are, you'll have a much better time and maybe get asked on some second and third dates. Wonderful things can happen when you give a man the sense that there's a real reason for him to be there — as opposed to the idea that he could have stayed home and, in his place, sent a giant ear. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Fourteen employees of a Framingham, Massachusetts, pharmacy were indicted in December for defrauding the federal government by filling bogus prescriptions (despite an owner's explicit instructions to staff that the fake customers' names "must resemble real names," with "no obviously false names" that might tip off law enforcement). Among the names later found on the customer list of the New England Compounding Center were: Baby Jesus, Hugh Jass, L.L. Bean, Filet O'Fish, Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae, Harry Potter, Coco Puff, Mary Lamb, all of the Baldwin brother actors and a grouping of Bud Weiser, Richard Coors, Raymond Rollingrock and, of course, Samuel Adams. The indictments were part of an investigation of a 2012 meningitis outbreak in which 64 people died. [WBZ-TV (Boston), 12- 17-2014] Cultural Diversity Two recent innovations to the generations-old Middle East sport of camel racing boosted its profile. First, to cleanse the sport of a sour period in which children from Bangladesh were trafficked to use as jockeys, owners have begun using "robot" jockeys — electronic dummies that respond to trainers tracking the races with walkie-talkies (growling encouragement directly into camels' ears) and joysticks (that trigger a whip at an appropriate time). Second, the firm Al Shibla Middle East of United Arab Emirates has introduced lycra-style, whole-body camel coverings that are believed to enhance blood circulation and, perhaps, racing speed (although the fashions are now used only in training and transportation, to lessen camels' "stress"). Ultimately, of course, the coverings may carry advertising. [New York Times, 12-26- 2014] [7 Days in Dubai, 12-31-2014] The New Normal "It's not fair! There is not justice in this country!" shouted the mother of Franklin Reyes, 17, in a New York City courtroom in January after a judge ordered the son tried for manslaughter as an adult. Reyes, an unlicensed driver fleeing a police traffic stop, had plowed into a 4-year-old girl, killing her, but had initially convinced the judge to treat him as a "youthful offender." Reyes' mom was so enraged at the judge's switch that she had to be escorted from the room. (After the judge's generous youthful offender ruling, Reyes had violated his bail conditions by getting arrested three more times.) [New York Post, 1-15-2015] ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you may feel that a goal is beyond reach, but you can get there if you are willing to make some sacrifices. Make a decision quickly this week. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Many different people, including loved ones and colleagues, hold you in high regard, Taurus. That's because you are a forward thinker willing to take chances. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, take a careful approach to any obstacles that come your way this week. A problem that arises will require some thoughtful analyis and a slow and steady approach. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, be honest about what you desire, even if it seems like getting it is impossible. You never know what you can achieve if you push yourself and have a little patience. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you have many good ideas and are ready for many of them to come to fruition. Muster up some energy and clear your schedule so you can conquer the tasks at hand. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, you have more in common with a colleague at work than you originally imagined. Pool your resources and work as a team to get the job done. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, you may have to be a little more assertive than usual to get your way this week. If you have good ideas, stick behind them and make your voice heard. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Set goals that are difficult to reach, Scorpio. This is a great way to push yourself to be the best you can be. Expect some special news to arrive very soon. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Something that may have been important to you a few days ago has lost its luster this week, Sagittarius. Don't pursue it any longer because it's not worth your time. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, make the most of a business opportunity that presents itself in the coming weeks. This opportunity could be the chance you have long been waiting for. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Don't push yourself beyond your limits this week, Aquarius. There's no rush to get things done and no need to subject yourself to fatigue or burnout. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, do not let your daydreams get you into trouble. Harness your imagination in the next few days so you can focus on the here and now. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard IN THE MORNING Weekdays 5:30AM to 10:00AM