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DAILYNEWSPHOTO Joaquin Albornoz, 7, of Corning won the Daily News' Through a Child's Eyes ad contest for grades 2and 3. For his winning ad, for Big Boys Toys in Red Bluff, Albornoz received $40. Albornoz is homeschooled. ADCONTEST ALBORNOZ WINS FOR GRADES 2, 3 Howmanytimes have you dismissed a negative behav- ior in yourself or someone else be- cause you believe it is an innate char- acter trait that can't be helped. Are you judgmental, a grump, opinionated or hard to deal with? Are you a doormat, always second fiddle, too meek to stand up for yourself and always in an abusive situation? While the theories of nature vs. nurture are true; much of your per- sonality is formed from your heritage from mom and dad and your circum- stances shape what experi- ences you have and you re- act accordingly. The fact remains that two different people can experience the same event and react in different ways. Over time we begin to react to life in a series of patterns. These patterns may be all we are exposed to as children and they be- come so intrenched in our mind that we simply be- lieve them to be truths. Sometimes these are great pat- terns, Sunday din- ners with fam- ily, helping oth- ers, sharing toys. Other times they are destructive, hit- ting to resolve con- flict, using intimidation as a means of control, de- meaning others. There is a point in life where things shift and you are exposed to enough common soci- ety that you begin to know if your patterns of thought are accurate or flawed. That's where the power to change occurs. Once you know that there are better ways to handle life's problems and you elect to hold on to your maladaptive ways like they are your child- hood blankie, you are making conscious deci- sions to stay stuck. If you are uttering the phrases "but it's just the way I am" or "That's just how they are" you are enter- ing into crazy town. I've been to crazy town. I met the mayor, the town harlot and the village idiot, trust me, it's not a great place to visit. There is no personal- ity trait, no reactionary coping skill and no anti- social behavior that you can't change. Recognition is the key. I am sure that you have lived enough life by now to have identified what behaviors you have that grate on your and ev- erybody else's nerves. They can be changed. You can admit that you are scared, don't know it all and need to make changes. It doesn't make you weak and it doesn't negate what you survived as a child. In my life I was exposed to the worst type of prob- lem solving skills imagin- able. I learned that big is better than small, children have no vote in anything in life, if people don't do what you want you can get them to through hitting or humiliating them and that a moms job was to do whatever the dad said, no matter what. I learned that it was normal for the lead parent in the house to be unpredictable, mad one minute and laughing the next and that it was my job to predict that future for my own safety. Coming out of that childhood lifestyle, you can imagine the won- derful potential skill set I brought to a marriage, friendships and parent- ing. The truth is I realized by the time I was an adult that many of the experi- ences I had were not nor- mal. I took classes, saw counselors and learned about healthy ways to be with others. You can too. You can overcome your negative traits. It's not just how you are. It's how you decide to be. FaydraRector,MAisa mental health administra- tor, author, public speaker, educator and life coach who lives in Red Bluff. She can be reached at life- coach@shasta.com or view her blogs at faydraand- company.blogspot.com/ and allaboutdivorce.blogs- pot.com/. FAYDRA RECTOR Butit'sjustthewayIam Faydra Rector The following information has been compiled from Red Bluff Police Depart- ment, Tehama County Sheriff's Department, Corning Police Department and California Highway Patrol logs. Arrests TreyClevlandKing: 27, Red Bluff was arrested on suspicion felony receiving known stolen property and misdemeanors of pos- session of a controlled substance, paraphernalia and driving on a suspended license Friday at Jefferson and Hickory streets. Bail was $18,000. Kevin Dale Martin: 53, Los Molinos was arrested Saturday on the 7000block of Tina Drive on outstand- ing charges of felony trans- portation of a controlled substance, possession of a controlled substance for sale, failure to appear and misdemeanors of false identification to a peace officer and failure to ap- pear. Bail was $10,000. Danielle Joyce Pennell: 27, Los Molinos was ar- rested Saturday at Grant Street on a felony fugitive of justice arrest warrant. Paulino Roman: 24, Red Bluff was arrested on sus- picion of felony cruelty to animals and misdemeanor possession of cannabis concentrates Sunday at Rio Vista Mobile Park. Bail was $18,000. Jessie Allen Sanders: 36, Corning was arrested Saturday at Gilmore Road and Antelope Boulevard on outstanding charges of felony possession of a controlled substance, four counts of failure to appear, possession of cannabis concentrates, selling mari- juana and misdemeanors of obstruction, two counts of driving without a license and paraphernalia. The 2nd Avenue: Someone reported the the of $40in cans from their front yard Friday. Vandalism Channel Way: A vacant home was damaged and around $600in fuel re- moved from a tank on the property. 15000block Bowman Road: Vandalism was reported Sunday at a resi- dence. POLICE REPORTS A Creative Writing for Seniors Group began meet- ing Monday at the Red Bluff Community and Se- nior Center, 1500 S. Jack- son St. in Red Bluff. The group meets 10- 11:30 a.m. every Monday except for the last Monday of the month in a confer- ence room at the end of the hall. There will be a sign on the door. The group first started on April 7, 1997 at the Sal- vation Army Headquarters and will soon be celebrat- ing its 18th anniversary. JoAnne Kreitberg Frye would be happy to know that her dream to start a writing group for seniors in Red Bluff is still going strong. The writing group is for anyone 50 or older. The purpose of the group is to encourage seniors to write their life story in their own words. Class members may also share poems or fic- tion. Computer or typing skills are not needed. Your writings are not graded or corrected. You can request the group critique it. It is open to anyone regardless of your education or abil- ity to write. Many seniors have a strong desire to share their life stories with family. It is a wonderful gift that se- niors can give to their chil- dren and grandchildren. Pat Jensen is the facili- tator of the group and can be reached at 527-5762 for more information. CREATIVE WRITING Group caters to senior citizens, meets weekly County Treasurer Bal- lard will not break off at once being a farmer. Yes- terday morning he got up early, milked six cows, fed a drove of hogs, chopped a cord of wood — maybe — and did a raft of small chores before time to come into town and begin his day's work in the office. All this makes for vigor- ous health and enables a man to do more and bet- ter work. — Jan. 6, 1915 100 YEARS AGO... Ballard still loves the cows and chickens Smog Check (MOST CARS & PICK-UPS) 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. starting at $ 29 95 + $ 8 25 certificate SERVICESATLOWERPRICES All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K MembersWelcome Callusat530-891-4673 CA. 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