Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/41965
NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The heavy hand of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service landed on 11-year-old Skylar Capo and her mom in June, after an agent happened to spot Skylar holding a baby woodpecker in her hands at a Lowes home improvement store in Fredericksburg, Va. Actually, Skylar had minutes before saved the woodpecker from the primed teeth of a house cat and was providing temporary TLC, intending to release the bird when the trauma had passed. The agent, apparently, was unimpressed, reciting a provision of the Migratory Bird Act, and two weeks later, another Fish and Wildlife agent knocked on the Capos' door (accompanied by a Virginia state trooper) and served Mrs. Capo a citation calling for a $535 fine. (In August, Fish and Wildlife officials relented, calling the agent's action a mistake.) [WUSA-TV (Washington, D.C.)] Compelling Explanations Though a university study released Chuck Sheppard in June linked birth defects to the controversial mining industry practice of mountaintop removal, lawyers for the National Mining Association offered a quick, industry-friendly rebuttal: Since the area covered by the study was in West Virginia, any birth defects could well be explained merely as inbreeding. (A week later, the lawyers thought better and edited out that insinuation.) [Charleston Gazette, 7-11-2011] Michael Jones, 50, told a magistrate in Westminster, England, in May that he did not "assault" a police officer when he urinated on him at a railway station a month earlier. Jones claimed, instead, that he was "urinating in self-defense" in that the water supply had been "poisoned by the mafia." The magistrate explained that Jones' argument "is not realistically going to be a viable defense." [CourtNews.uk, 5-31-2011] Ironies When Laura Diprimo, 43, and Thomas Lee, 28, were arrested for child endangerment in Louisville, Ky., in June, it appeared to be yet another instance of a mother leaving an infant locked in a hot car (91-degree heat index outside) while frolicking elsewhere (drinking with Lee at the Deja Vu club). According to a report on WDRB-TV, while the two were in the police car en route to jail, Lee complained that the back seat of the cruiser was uncomfortably warm. [WDRB-TV (Louisville), 6-1-2011] COPYRIGHT 2011 CHUCK SHEPHERD WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19) You may know that your friend is not a measuring rod by which to determine your own height. But tell that to a 4-year-old whose primary wish is to get bigger. The child version of you is still inside you, wanting to be acknowledged for being all grown up. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Though interact- ing with you may be a joyful experience for others, you cannot really make another person happy without his or her consent. Do your best, but recognize that you are not solely responsible for what other people feel. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Sometimes it's diffi cult for you to feel successful. That is the blessing and the curse of the extremely ambi- tious. You may feel dwarfed by the tall moun- tains, but that has nothing to do with whether or not you can actually make it to the top. One step at a time will get you there. CANCER (June 22-July 22) As the week progresses, you'll get a burst of energy that you can apply toward moving your mood in the direction of greater happiness or misery. It will take the same amount of energy to move in either direction — the choice will be up to you. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) If only there was a day this week when you could lounge around in bed from morning to night. Come to think of it, the last time you did that (sick days not included) was about ... never. An extremely lazy day is an experience you should have at least once. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) The person you know who has had the "hardest day of his life" has probably had a hundred such days before. You'll wisely sense where people are in the emotional maturity department and give proper credence to their statements. ADVICE GODDESS Fraud Prince LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) You will contem- plate a departure. Perhaps this has to do with an institution, a belief system or a school of thought to which you can no longer subscribe. Consider this choice very carefully. Some school-leavers — Thomas Edison and Bill Gates — moved on to change the world. Oth- ers haven't moved on at all. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) Immediate answers are likely to be incorrect. Take a "wait and see" attitude. Don't move until you feel 100 percent convinced to do so. Patience is most important. Everything will come together as it's supposed to. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Focusing on seemingly inconsequential matters may seem impractical, and yet this is precisely the focus that will prove most useful. An aura of glamour comes over you as you concern yourself with nonessen- tial areas of life. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Whilst seek- ing a harmonious life with pleasant surround- ings, you wind up on a path of excitement, confl ict and drama. Is this secretly what you wanted all along? Or did you stumble here purely by accident? The answer to these ques- tions will make you feel both wise and free. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)You are still blaming yourself for something that happened long ago. Rationally examine the matter, and you will understand that there is no need for blame, since at the time your actions truly could not be helped. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) There are emotions that hinder you, not because they are "bad" or "wrong," but because they are burdensome to the psyche. You'll effectively steer clear of such emotions because you know they'll slow you down. By Holiday Mathis September Events LATE NIGHT WITH CRAIG KARGES Sept. 14 at 8:00 p.m. in Reeves Auditorium PERCUSSION RECITAL FEATURING DON PARKER Sept. 16 at 7:30 p.m. in Hensdale Chapel Free admission NORTH CAROLINA SYMPHONY CONCERT Sept. 16 at 8:00 p.m. in Reeves Auditorium BOOK SALE Sept. 19–30 in the Davis Memorial Library Paperbacks, 50¢; hardbacks, $1.00 FACULTY RECITAL FEATURING ELIZABETH WINSTEAD AND SCOTT MAROSEK Sept. 27 at 7:30 p.m. in Hensdale Chapel Free admission METHODIST UNIVERSITY THEATRE DEPARTMENT PRESENTS THE GUYS Sept. 29-30 and Oct. 1 at 8:00 p.m. Oct. 2 at 2:00 p.m. in Reeves Auditorium Admission: $10 for adults; $7 for seniors and students; $4 for children; free for MU students, faculty, and staff Engage. Enrich. Empower. Methodist University strives to engage the community with its offering of lectures, performances, and events that are open to the public. Whether it's for a sporting event, class, or concert, you are invited to visit our campus! For more information about these and other events, please visit methodist.edu. When my boyfriend moved across the country to Manhattan for two years, we pledged we'd be faithful. We talk and text daily, and he tells me he loves me and that I'm the only person for him. Well, my best girlfriend visited her brother, my boyfriend's roommate, and returned with some real fun facts: Last year, my boyfriend became obsessed with some girl and got into an "open relationship" with her — all year. He claims only she slept with others; he didn't. Yeah, right. He also insists he only slept with her once and didn't tell me because he didn't think I could handle the truth. That's ridiculous because he knows honesty is everything to me. I now feel I have reason to leave him. Still, I'm 24, he's my fi rst boyfriend, and Amy Alkon we've been together for four years, so I'm reluctant to end it. Please give me a silver lining to this dark cloud over my head! — Last Straw For some, a wake-up call is a gentle nudge or the delicate tinkle of a fi ne watch; others need to be bludgeoned over the head with an alarm clock. In case you're wondering, you're in the sound sleepers group. In our email exchange, you revealed that in addition to a number of friends warning you about your boyfriend, a complete stranger who spotted you with him in a bar took you aside to hint that he had zipper issues. In red fl ag terms, this is a call to start shopping for an Eiffel Tower- sized fl agpole. Although women typically stick with dirtbag boyfriends out of a lack of self- respect, your problem seems to be an excess of respect for The Relationship. Okay, he's your fi rst boyfriend and you've been together for four years. This is merely interpersonal census data, not reason to stick around to be lied to and cheated on for another four years. To this day, your boyfriend shows you that his words are suspect anytime he says anything weightier than "pass the Cheerios." In fact, he may be in Manhattan, but the old joke about the Hollywood agent applies: "Hello," he lied. What you need isn't a silver lining, but a diving pool of louse shampoo. You also need to understand that boyfriends who are liars and cheaters go for girlfriends who put up with lying and cheating. If you want honesty, don't swallow lies like they've been buttered, and don't let wanting a man to be ethical get in the way of looking to see whether he actually is. You might also take a more realistic approach to human nature. The 20s are our prime rutting time. Send any twenty-something man off for two years, and unless he's on a solo mission to Mars, you'd better ask him to supplement his daily "ur the only 1!" texts with a webcam so you can see the girl he isn't sleeping with in the background, motioning him to get back into bed. Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. SEPTEMBER 14-20, 2011 UCW 61