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Tuesday, August 23, 2011 – Daily News 3B FEATURES Ignored indicators Dear Annie: My hus- band (probably soon-to- be ex) and I read your col- umn with our morning coffee. We've been mar- ried 43 years and have two married children and five beautiful grandchil- dren. I felt very blessed, loved and cherished. ''Bill'' retired two years ago. Obviously, I wasn't paying enough attention to notice the red flags. I trusted my hus- band completely, but he developed a rela- tionship with one of his co-workers. I'd met her at the company Christmas party, but failed to notice how much she and Bill seemed to enjoy being together. I'm sure he had no clue that all his other co-workers were gossiping about him and this gal. They tried to warn me about the relationship, but I had blinders on. I couldn't believe my Bill would be interested in another woman. I found a card from her saying she'd be Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ''seeing him soon'' and signed ''with love.'' He had hidden it in his desk. When I con- fronted him, he said he planned to see her about once a month, just to keep in touch. He made it clear that I was not included in these meetings. When I realized what a fool I'd been to trust him all this time, I decided to file for divorce. In spite of that, Bill refuses to stop seeing this woman. My daughter says I'm doing the right thing, but my son fears I'm rushing into something both of us will regret. I want to warn other couples to pay atten- tion to those red flags. Don't blithely disre- gard what others are saying. Those same co- workers now tell me that they stopped warn- ing me because I refused to listen. This expe- rience destroyed my world. Annie, if you have any advice for me, I'm listening now. — A Formerly Trusting Wife Dear Trusting: Spouses often ignore warning signs because they can't fathom being betrayed by someone they trust, and facing their worst fear is too painful to bear. Your son doesn't want you to have any regrets. Please ask your husband to come with you for counseling before making your decision permanent. If he refuses, go with- out him, and make sure your choice is the right one. Dear Annie: Several times a year, our relatives get together for family dinners. When my husband's married cousin arrives, he pulls me into his body, wraps his arms around me and blows kisses in my ear. When we are in the same room, he some- times walks up behind me and hugs me tightly. My husband says to ignore him because he is simply being a jerk. I spend the entire time trying to avoid him. I have asked him to stop, to no avail. Am I wrong for feeling this uncomfortable? — Creep Factor Dear Creep Factor: Hardly. This cousin is a world-class stinker who will keep grop- ing you until there are consequences for him. The next time he does it, shriek loudly in sur- prise, and then tell his wife that her husband can't seem to keep his hands off of you. That ought to take care of it, since your husband won't. Dear Annie: ''Inger from N.H.'' expressed a pet peeve about the way change is returned to the shopper in retail establish- ments. Instead of sympathizing, you simply said that the column was available for letting off steam. My father was a former A&P manager, before the era of supermarkets, when clerks still waited on customers. I learned how to say ''yes, ma'am'' and ''no, sir.'' And we had one of those cash registers that didn't tell you how much change to give, so I had to learn how to make change and count it out in the customer's hand. When you have experienced this kind of treatment, you never forget that we once lived in a civilized society. I, for one, fully empathize with ''Inger'' and lament the loss of a kinder past. Please let her know there are still some of us left. — Thomasville, Pa. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Tremor must be identified DEAR DR. GOTT: My hands shake when I'm trying to use them but are still when in my lap. I am a 74- year-old male and have had this condi- tion all my life, but it is getting worse as I age. DEAR READER: Because you indicate the condition is long- standing and you fail to report other symptoms, I believe you have an action- postural tremor, the most common of which is benign essential tremor. This condi- tion is a disorder of the ner- vous system that can affect almost any part of the body, but it occurs most often with involuntary shaking of the hands when a person attempts to perform simple tasks. It can also affect the arms, head and voice. Symptoms may include head nodding, difficulty writing, drinking from a cup or glass or holding a fork. The cause for essential tremor is unknown but almost half of all known cases appear to occur because of a genetic muta- tion. There are two known risks for development. The first is an inherited variety that translates to one parent passing on the defective gene. If you had one parent with this genetic mutation, you have a 50 percent chance of developing essen- tial tremor. The other risk that becomes greater with time is age. While not dangerous, essential tremor worsens over time and can be more pronounced in some people than in others. It can be aggravated when a person is under stress, has consumed caffeine, is on specific med- Dr. Peter Gott ications, and may be exacerbated by variations in temperature. Your physi- cian may make a diagnosis through visual and physical examination and by asking specific questions. How- ever, additional testing may be necessary to rule out such disorders as Parkinson's disease, dysto- nia, Wilson's disease, Char- cot-Marie Tooth syndrome and other neurological con- ditions. I strongly urge you to see a neurologist who can put a name to your problem. There are several medica- tions used for the treatment of essential tremor, but the drugs can carry side effects of fatigue, shortness of breath, nausea, a slowed heart rate, gait abnormalities and drowsiness. Readers who would like related information can order my Health Report "Parkinson's Disease" by sending a self-addressed, stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 U.S. check or money order to Dr. Peter Gott, P.O. Box 433, Lakeville, CT 06039. Be sure to mention the title), or print an order form from my website's direct link: www.AskDrGottMD.com/o rder_form.pdf. DEAR DR. GOTT: My dog has recently been diag- nosed with diabetes and is requiring insulin injections twice a day. She hates these injections, pulls away when the needle is inserted and yelps when the medication is injected. I'm a wreck. She is 10 years old and has had a good life. I don't want her last years on this earth to be so miserable. Please tell me I have alternative! DEAR READER: Well, I have an MD after my name, not a DVM, but I'll try. Dietary control, along with daily injections, can help most dogs with dia- betes, allowing them to lead healthy lives. Speak with your veterinarian regarding your technique to be assured you are injecting the insulin as painlessly as possible. While oral medications are used for people, they aren't effective in dogs. Having said that, I note that glipizide in tablet form taken orally has been known to stimulate the pancreas and initiate the production of insulin. If things are present- ly unbearable, you might wish to speak with your vet- erinarian about this possibil- ity. Then there's cinnamon sprinkled on food and apple cider vinegar added to the drinking water, but this may be way out there in terms of effective therapy. Feed your dog canned and dry foods containing higher concentrations of fiber and complex carbohy- drates. Both help slow absorption and minimize fluctuations in sugar levels. If your dog is overweight, attempt to exercise her more. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including "Live Longer, Live Better," "Dr. Gott's No Flour, No Sugar Diet" and "Dr. Gott's No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook," which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com Oh Snap! The Daily News wants your photos: Cute kids, Adorable pets, Inspirational sights, Any shot you think readers would enjoy You might just see it in the Daily News Send pictures to editor@redbluffdailynews.com or drop off at 545 Diamond Ave. in Red Bluff. Include a caption.