Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/399988
Nearlyayearago,Ispoke glowingly about a person I thought I knew very well who had recently de- parted this good earth. But then a week later, I re- ceived an e mail from a reader who asked if I was kidding — that the person I lauded was in- deed a louse of the first order. She prefaced her remarks with the familiar disclaimer, "I know I should not speak ill of the dead"…and then proceeded to give him the back of her hand, metaphorically speaking of course. She may have good reason for dissing him, but it does raise the question, why not speak ill of the departed? Well, for one thing, the de- parted is not around to defend himself or herself from the defamation. And besides, bad mouthing the deceased would cause additional grief to the family left behind who, until now, would have considered the departed a saint. However, bad press for the deceased in an obituary may not be the worst of it. To be quickly forgotten is the ulti- mate insult. Here today, gone tomorrow is not how any of us want our coda to read. We want to have left behind at least an impression…a footnote to what little history we might have generated. We would like our name spoken out loud from time to time in the ensu- ing years. In this manner, we will have eternal life. ••• Speaking of departure, here is an excerpt from a tome by Cecelia Gavin O'Meara who be- moans the fact that many of us, due to the miracles of medi- cal science, are delaying our in- evitable closing by outwitting the consequence of pneumonia and the like. In so doing we be- come a burden to ourselves and our loved ones. She concludes her lengthy observance of de- parture with "Too often we have stayed too long at the fair, but no one will let us go home. So, please, if I break something when I'm old and frail…and that old friend pneumonia joins me, leave us in peace." ••• In this week's DN Police Log, the curious report from a man who reported a nude woman had run through his fenced back yard and jumped his gate on the way out. This occurred at 11 p.m. on a Saturday. At first blush, this appears to be a simple trespass. On closer inspection, which the late hour admittedly did not fully allow, this could herald a new era of women's lib. It is not so much the unclad nature of the act as it is the apparent hurdling of the gate which, in the hands, so to speak, of an un-trained athlete, could have had a disastrous outcome. However, I think we have about exhausted the subject to await further developments. ••• Let's hear it for advisory bum- per stickers as furnished by W.B. Kelsey of the south bay: "I'm marching to a different accor- dion." "Lord, help me to be the person my dog thinks I am." "Evolution is just a theory…kind of like gravity." "Compost hap- pens." "What if we destroy the planet before Jesus gets back?" And, "Ask your doctor if medi- cal advice from a television com- mercial is right for you." ••• Verbose: Using too many words, or perhaps too obscure references. A recent article in TIME by reviewer Lev Gross- man regarding a new book by Kathy Howley titled, "Thrown" about martial arts practitio- ners, contained a few big time phrases. "…also an allusion to a Heideggerian concept that the author glosses over," and "She transcribes their inane conver- sations the way Boswell tran- scribed Johnson" and "To watch Erik move," she writes, "was to watch Cartesian dualism dis- proved," and finally "She's pre- tentious and self-involved and seems interested in the fighters only for the next hit of transcen- dence she can get off them." C'mon, Lev. Some of us didn't graduate from Stanford. ••• J. Angelo forwarded to me an amazing promotional tract composed by Warren Wood- son regarding the myriad ad- vantages of purchasing prop- erty in Corning and the sur- rounding area in the 1920s. He was, of course, the father of the famous Maywood Col- ony subdivision. The brochure runs some seven pages of close typed prose worthy of a Cham- ber of Commerce boost even today. I urge the C of C to pub- lish it all or part to promote all of Tehama County. I'll forward them a copy and hope they will run with it. An example: "LAND OF ROD, CREEL, GUN AND SKI. Here, at Corn- ing, near the head of the Sac- ramento Valley, nestling within the protecting walls of high coniferous covered moun- tains, we live in a land of en- chanting charm, a location lavish in diversity of aspect, and rich in recreational al- lurements. Sixty auto-minutes translates the valley dweller to ever-green meadows, when not mantled with winter's snow. There at 5000 feet above the Pacific where the rarified air is a sentient delight, as well as tonic to those weary of body and mind, go half the valley dwellers in the summertime." Readers will note how Woody circumnavigated with ease the annoyances of our 100-degree summer time weather. Talk about waxing poetic. Warren Woodson could sell ice to an Eskimo. ••• Continuing the saga of fall- ing downs: A reader writes, "I guess this old age thing has many changes in store. The falling continues. My wife tripped over our cat and frac- tured a rib, has been to hospi- tal three times with complica- tions. Two short visits in Grid- ley Hospital, known as the holding pen for the mortuary, and a couple of days in Enloe. We are thankful we have kids close by to assist us." ••• A man walked into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm. He said, "I'll have a beer, please, and one for the road." A grasshopper walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Hey! We've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper said, "You have a drink named Marlon?" RobertMinchisalifelongres- ident of Red Bluff, former col- umnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmur- ray@hotmail.com. Isay Ifyoucan'tsay something nice about a person Cartoonist's take Hey everybody. The Mid- terms Are Coming! Or rather: the midterms are coming. To be most pre- cise; themid- termsarecoming. Because the gen- eral response of the vast majority of Americans who aren't stifling yawns is "yeah, whatever. Isn't there a baseball game on?" The suspense is, non-exis- tent. Passion is totally absent. Color the gusto gone. Even Fox News seems disinterested. An election may be less than a month away but to call its an- ticipation underwhelming is to engage in the height of hyper- bole. Like referring to the num- ber of living dinosaurs roam- ing the streets of San Francisco as less than plenty. Yours truly, notwithstanding. The country is abuzz with the same kind of anticipation normally reserved for mar- athon sock sorting. Using a broom to sweep cobwebs out of closet corners. Cleaning mud from the tread of your boots with a stick. Mud being a eu- phemism for stuff deposited by dogs that resembles wet dirt while maintaining a much higher olfactory component. Think-compostable. The midterms have always been the runt of the ballot- ing litter. Not the letter-jacket- wearing, honor-roll listed, Pres- idential quadrennial brother that all the boys emulate and all the girls want to go to the prom with. When the light is right, his teeth actually spar- kle. More like the wearing all black, hanging out behind the football field scoreboard, smells like smoke, little brother that the school nurse suspects is bi- polar but won't say anything because Mom looks that close to a nervous breakdown. Con- stantly followed by that geeky girl in braces who writes po- etry in a rubber-banded note- book that nobody reads. The turnouts in 2006 and 2010 were minuscule but this year's forecasts are putting the Pea You in puny. Borne out by Pew Research research, which says 15 percent of po- tential voters are following the election closely. Which could mean 15 percent of us are re- lated to a politician. You can cut the apathy with a soggy bar coaster. Multiple reasons are cited for such gloomy prospects. Obam- acare seems to be working. It's hard to tell one middle aged white guy from the other. And not even the terrifying prog- nostications of Mitch McCon- nell and Harry Reid can com- pete with Ebola and ISIS. The situation looms espe- cially dire for the Democrats who have two major problems. An even lower score on the fer- vor scale. Compared to them, Republicans look downright English soccer fanny. Then there's the President of the United States, whose coat- tails have frayed all the way up to his sleeves. If Barack Obama were up for election, the only votes he could count on would be Michelle, Malia and Sasha. And rumor has it not even Ma- lia is a dead solid lock. It's gotten to where candi- dates from his own party are offering to arrange photo- ops of him hugging their oppo- nents. Wouldn't be surprised to hear savvy managers dig into campaign coffers to gift the President with rounds of golf on Martha's Vineyard during October. If this bout of electoral leth- argy continues we might be forced to merge the midterms with Halloween. Why not? Same week. Besides, they have a lot in common. Both events highlight tricks and treats. Ev- eryone wears costumes to dis- guise their true identity. All the real action occurs in the dark. John Boehner looks like a pumpkin. And not infrequently, the face under the mask is the scary one. Will Durst is an award- winning, nationally acclaimed political comic. Go to willdurst. com for more about the documentary film "3 Still Standing," and a calendar guide to personal appearances such as his hit one- man show "BoomeRaging: From LSD to OMG." Email Will at durst@ caglecartoons.com. He will be performing Saturday, Nov. 15 at Red Bluff's State Theatre. Call 529-2787 or visit statetheatreredbluff.com for information. Will Durst Scary masks as the midterms approach J. Angelo forwarded to me an amazing promotional tract composed by Warren Woodson regarding the myriad advantages of purchasing property in Corning and the surrounding area in the 1920s. Sounding off Alookatwhatreadersaresayingincommentsonourwebsiteandonsocialmedia. Bothpoliticalpartiesseemreluctantto find middle ground, especially on the hot button issues. However, my point was Heidi Hall doesn't stand a chance in this heavily registered conservative district. She'll need to swallow her pride a bit and find ways to appeal to disenfranchised republicans. Pete Stiglich: In response to a comment on his letter regarding the Congressional race Way to go Chad!! Good luck!!!! Julie Williams: On local Chad Bushnell making the Top 10in a Nashville music competition Greg Stevens, Publisher Chip Thompson, Editor EDITORIAL BOARD How to have your say: Letters must be signed and provide the writer's home street address and home phone number. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and no more than two double-spaced pages or 500words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section will be published. Email: editor@red bluffdailynews.com Phone: 530-527- 2151ext. 112 Mail to: P.O. Box 220, 545 Diamond Ave., Red Bluff, CA 96080 Facebook: Leave comments at FACEBOOK.COM/ RBDAILYNEWS Twitter: Follow and send tweets to @REDBLUFFNEWS Robert Minch Will Durst Assemblyman Dan Logue 150Amber Grove Drive, Ste. 154, Chico 95928, 530895- 4217 Senator Jim Nielsen 2634 Forest Ave., Ste. 110, Chico 95928, 530 879-7424, senator.nielsen@senate. ca.gov Governor Jerry Brown State Capital Building, Sacra- mento 95814, 916445-2841, fax 916558-3160, governor@ governor.ca.gov U.S. Representative Doug LaMalfa 507Cannon House Office Building, Washington D.C. 20515, 202225-3076 U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein One Post St., Ste. 2450, San Francisco 94104, 415393- 0707, fax 415393-0710 U.S. Senator Barbara Boxer 1700Montgomery St., San Francisco 94111, 510286-8537, fax 202224-0454 Contact your officials Then there's the President of the United States, whose coattails have frayed all the way up to his sleeves. If Barack Obama were up for election, the only votes he could count on would be Michelle, Malia and Sasha. And rumor has it not even Malia is a dead solid lock. OPINION » redbluffdailynews.com Friday, October 17, 2014 » MORE AT FACEBOOK.COM/RBDAILYNEWS AND TWITTER.COM/REDBLUFFNEWS A4