Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/36377
NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Somehow, upscale restaurateurs believe that diners will soon willingly pay more for a beef dish if it comes with disclosure of the DNA of the actual cow being eaten, according to a May Associated Press report. “People want to know where their food is coming from,” said one excited chef, lauding the knowledge to be gleaned from a calf’s upbringing. (A more practical beef-supply executive added that DNA can help identify the “multiple animals” whose parts were used in hunks of ground beef — a 10-pound package of which may include contributions from “hundreds” of different cows.) [Iowa City Press-Citizen-AP, 5-26-2011] Can’t Possibly Be True It was not difficult to find critics when the Orlando-area government job-service engine Workforce Central Florida said it was spending more than $70,000 of federal stimulus money to help the laid- off by handing out 6,000 satiny capes for jobless “superheroes” to “fight” “Dr. Evil Unemployment.” (“Absolutely absurd” was the reaction of a laid-off customer-service representative.) Several critics interviewed by the Orlando Sentinel noted that such an awkward program further erodes the unemployed’s fragile self-respect. WCF, though, remained convinced. In the words of a spokeswoman, “Everyone is a superhero in the fight against unemployment.” [Orlando Sentinel, 4-15-2011] Urban Legend Come to Life: Too- good-to-be-true stories have circulated for years about men who accidentally fell, posterior first, onto compressed-air nozzles and self-inflated, to resemble “dough boys,” usually with fatal results. However, in May in Opotiki, New Zealand, trucker Steven McCormack found himself in similar circumstances, and had it not been for quick-thinking colleagues who pulled him away, he would have been killed — as the air, puncturing a buttock, had already begun separating tissue from muscle. McCormack was hospitalized in severe pain, but the air gradually seeped from his body (according to a doctor, in the way air “usually” seeps from a body). [BBC News, 5-25-2011] Oops! Oswind David was convicted of “first-degree assault” in a 2006 trial in New York City, but unknown to him, his lawyer, and the judge, the charge had already been dismissed by another judge due to prosecutorial error. Nonetheless, David has been in prison since his conviction, serving a 23-year term, and was freed only in May when the error came to light. (However, the New York City district attorney still resisted releasing David, arguing that only the “first- degree” part had been dismissed. A judge finally freed David on bail while prosecutors ponder reopening the case.) [WABC-TV, 5-26-2011] Parents were puzzled in June after Dry Creek School District in Roseville, Calif., passed out questionnaires asking for biographical details of prospective students, including whether or not the child has been delivered by C-section. Parents told Sacramento station KOVR-TV that school officials were refusing to explain why they wanted to know that. [KOVR-TV, 6-4-2011] COPYRIGHT 2011 CHUCK SHEPHERD WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM WEEKLY HOROSCOPES BY HOLIDAY ARIES (March 21-April 19) If you don’t know how to communicate with others, working and/ or creating with them will be a joyless process. It will take a conscious effort, and probably more time than you anticipated, to establish a rapport, but you’ll get there. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) You enjoy a superb reputation for doing what you do well, and yet you don’t always accept the praise you’re given. Show your confi dence now, or you’ll likely receive fewer opportunities and less money than you deserve. GEMINI (May 21-June 21) Being in love with another person does not resolve all problems and create earthly nirvana. Maybe there is some way that it could, but given the current complexities of life, that way hasn’t presented itself yet. CANCER (June 22-July 22) Group dynamics are tricky. Fun and productivity sometimes go hand-in-hand, but not always. You could laugh and have a good time while nothing gets done. Your best bet is to make sure you and the oth- ers have a common goal and everyone keeps it in mind. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You’ll experience many emotions this week. Feelings of jealousy or envy could arise. These states of mind are caused by low self-esteem, which occurs from time to time in any normal human being. If you feel a little insecure, do something to help you get back to your usual confi dent self-assurance. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) It’s time to con- cern yourself with your own fun. When you try too hard to make sure everyone is happy, you rip yourself off. Plus, you make it hard for oth- ers to relax, because they feel their fun comes at the expense of yours. It doesn’t have to. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) You spend so much of your time working to keep everything going smoothly for the people around you. Remem- ber to stop and ask yourself where you fi t into the picture. Check in to see how you feel, and gauge your happiness with all that’s going on. Make sure you’re still excited about this life you’ve built. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21) It may be scary for you to approach the unknown and ask questions, but you realize you have to start somewhere. Sometimes you’ll be welcomed, and other times you’ll have to work harder for acceptance and approval, but you’ll always get it in the end. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) You’ll easily get in synch with those around you. You physi- cally match the pacing and movements of others, and they relax and open up to you. You will learn as you listen to stories and instruction. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) You like to have company, but not all of the time. You prefer to be alone for long stretches so that you can concentrate totally on what you need to accomplish. You’ll have this luxury more than usual this week. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) You have many insights to impart this week. Be careful not to interrupt those around you who may be mov- ing at a much slower pace. If you are patient enough to hear people out, you’ll acquire interesting knowledge. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) You have certain habits that are so much a part of your everyday life that you don’t even think of them as behav- iors anymore. Rather, they are just what you do when you are “doing you.” But you’re changing this week, and you could decide that a certain habit is unnecessary or even destructive and do away with it. By Holiday Mathis ADVICE GODDESS Creature from the Slack Lagoon I’ve been engaged to a man for seven years, but we haven’t been able to afford to get married. I attend college part time while raising my daughter and working. He treats me well and works hard, but he’s unmotivated and undereducated. He doesn’t even have a high school diploma and can only get low- paying work with bad hours. Three months ago, he was fi red from a nursing home for stealing drinks from the soda machine, and he hasn’t looked for a job since. He said he couldn’t when we had a rainy period; now he says it’s too hot. When I suggested he get up early to beat the heat, he got angry. Our relationship has never been about money, but I’m not seeing much light at the end of the tunnel. Why do I stay? Because I love him, and I’m scared I wouldn’t be able to make it on my own as a single mother. — Trapped A boyfriend who actually “works hard” would be working hard to stop sponging off you — maybe getting his GED so he could get more than a dead-end, minimum- wage job. Still, school isn’t everything. A woman I know, Tig Notaro, fl unked Amy Alkon While others retreat, we are moving forward. Some publication’s numbers are falling behind. Your free community paper is moving forward. Readership of free community papers is now higher than paid daily papers, and continues to grow. Rather than being replaced by “instant” media, your local free community paper has become an important part of our neighborhood. Another sign we’re working for you. Free Papers Working For You eighth grade twice, got moved up to ninth grade and fl unked that, too. When her classmates started to be kids she’d babysat for, she dropped out. Like your boyfriend, she could’ve resigned herself to employment in the paper hat/fry vat sector, but she worked briefl y promoting bands, then gave her all to doing stand-up. She went on to have her own Comedy Central special, be a featured character (“Offi cer Tig”) on The Sarah Silverman Program, and tour internationally as a headlining comedian. She eventually got her GED, “just to get it,” but found it most useful as cat food (she reports that her cat ate the left side of it the day she brought it home). So, the problem isn’t that school isn’t your guy’s thing, but that motivation isn’t. You, on the other hand, are attending college and working and caring for two children — the little girl you gave birth to and the grown man perfecting his napping skills on your couch. You say your relationship has never been about money. Actually, it’s very much about money, on account of how little of it he’s been bringing home. And then, when it’s job-hunting time, he bleats, “It’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s too wet.” There isn’t much light at the end of the tunnel. Additionally, you’re paying the rent on the tunnel. You say you fear being on your own as a single mother, but you’re already on your own. Without your boyfriend, you’d be a single mother with one less mouth to feed. You can have a very different kind of guy in your life — one who makes you better and happier because you’re with him. If you suspect you aren’t worthy, try something: Act like you’re worthy. Like you deserve a man who brings something to the relationship (and not just a couple Mello Yellos he swiped from the soda machine at the old folks home). Amy Alkon, all rights reserved. JULY 13-19, 2011 UCW 23