Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/358742
AUGUST 6-12, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS EMPTY SHELLY My girlfriend of a year is really pretty and sweet, and we love all the same outdoor activities. However, I feel there's a ceiling on our connection because she lacks a strong personality of her own. Whenever we discuss something to do, she defers to me. Also, I care deeply about politics and ideas, but she doesn't read newspapers or books or develop her own opinions. Two days ago, I asked about something we'd just heard on the news, and she basically parroted my opinion back to me. I pressed her, saying, "But what do YOU think?" She couldn't answer. This led to my suggesting that maybe she needs to see a therapist to learn to open up more. She was pretty offended, and we haven't talked much since. — Politically Concerned It is nice that you both enjoy the same outdoor activities. Having shared interests can sometimes be essential. But people put too much emphasis on having a lot of interests in common. You just need to have enough in common. And in addition to physical chemistry, you need to have what I call a crush on your partner as a human being. This means having respect and admiration for them and a sense of excitement about who they are and how they go about life. Respect is the opposite of contempt — the sneering disgust for a partner that marriage researcher John Gottman finds is the biggest predictor a couple will divorce. And unfortunately, respect is also the antithesis of what you, as a guy who cares about politics, have for a woman whose favorite Supreme Court justice is probably Judge Judy. The reality is, your girlfriend isn't going to lean back on some therapist's couch and find her opinion between the pillows — at least not any time soon. Chances are, she has little innate curiosity and has maybe spent much of her life under the mistaken impression that you can keep a man by keeping mum and nodding yes. In the future, when you meet a woman, instead of just taking stock of all the reasons you'd work as a couple, look for reasons you wouldn't — like if her peers as political thinkers appear to be your hamster and the paperweight that fell behind your desk. A woman who's right for you will take your thoughts, political and otherwise, and run with them and sometimes bring back something better — making you better for being with her instead of making you suspect her skull contains only a goldfish swimming around a little castle and a couple of plastic plants. WEEKLY HOROSCOPES ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Finances are on your mind this week, Aries. You could be driven now more than ever to get your ducks in a row. Expect such tasks to be a bit stressful but ultimately worth it. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, avoid being sidetracked by some familiar obstacles. Even with the best intentions you can get pushed off target. Pay attention and stick with it. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, it may be tempting to set aside responsibilities in favor of more exciting experiences. But the real opportunities for adventure come from making commitments and goals. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, you may finally be ready to express feelings that you have been keeping to yourself. If you are worried about how others will respond, don't be. You have accepting friends. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, do not deny yourself some pleasure, especially if you have been putting in a lot of work and effort to attain your goals. Enjoy a little down time when you can. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, you cherish your time with friends and family this week, spending as many free moments with them as possible. In the coming days, carve out some alone time for yourself. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, you are no stranger to meeting other people's demands, but you need to be very firm about what you want right now. Work with others but make your opinions known as well. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, your intensity helps you get through some difficult projects in the weeks ahead. Be sure to make some time for rest and relaxation once your projects are finished. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, there is a lot more going on in your life now than meets the eye. Moves that you make could be crucial to your success, so do your best to make sure you make the right choices. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, expect some initial dissent when you propose an unorthodox solution to a problem. Don't worry much, as others will come around when the plan starts to work. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Do not allow your emotions to get the better of you this week, Aquarius. Steer clear of confusing issues and do not delve too deeply into things you don't understand. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, expect to be acknowledged for some special contributions this week. Stand up and take your bow with grace and appreciation. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD The leader of the devout Sunni jihadist group Islamic State, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, making a rare, solemn appearance in July, wore a flashy silver wristwatch that various video analysts described as either a Rolex or an Omega Seafarer or a feature-laden Saudi Arabian-made timepiece that sells for only about $560. A week earlier, a Syrian anti-government rebel leader was shown in a video exhorting his troops from notes he had made in his "Hello Kitty" notebook. And a week after that, a shopkeeper in North Waziristan, lamenting the loss of business when local Taliban fighters abruptly left the area, told a BBC reporter that the jihadists obsessively bought Dove soap, Head & Shoulders shampoo, white underwear ("briefs or Y-fronts"), and "Secret Love" and "Blue Lady" perfumes. [CNN, 7-10-2014] [The Independent (London), 7-4-2014] [BBC News, 7-12-2014] The Continuing Crisis The African hippopotamus is not found in South America — except for the estimated 50-some that, confusingly to natives, roam the Colombian countryside between Bogota and Medellin. The animals are the progeny of the four smuggled in 30 years ago by cocaine king Pablo Escobar, who generously established a grand, exotic zoo for his neighbors' enjoyment after his drug business took off (and before he was gunned down in 1993). However, as BBC News reported in June, hippo meat is inedible, and without their African natural enemies, they breed with astonishing prolificness — thus creating a "time bomb" for Colombia. [BBC News, 6-25-2014] Awesome Thievery: (1) A former city official in Ridgewood, New Jersey, pleaded guilty in July to stealing nearly 2 million quarters collected from parking meters with no one noticing for two years. Under a plea deal, Thomas Rica will likely be spared jail provided he repays half of what he stole. (2) In July, New York City prosecutors accused a former pharmacist at Mount Sinai Beth Israel hospital of stealing nearly 200,000 oxycodone-strength pain pills over five years, despite his increasingly far-fetched explanations. Anthony D'Alessandro even boldly swiped 1,500 pills the day after investigators first challenged him. [The Record (Hackensack), 7-9-2014] [Associated Press via The Republic (Columbus, Ind.), 7-8-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard