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Thursday, June 16, 2011 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Previous paramour provokes, prevaricates petty predicaments have Dear Annie: I known ‘‘Tony’’ for 17 years, and we’ve dated for the past seven. He has one ex-girlfriend who has remained in his life. When ‘‘Mara’’ became pregnant (by another man), she asked Tony to be the godfather. At first he told her no, because he thought it would make me uncom- fortable (you think?), but after she pleaded with him that there was no one else, he agreed to do it. He told me he was only doing a favor for her and it didn’t mean he would be involved in the child’s life. time. He insists that Mara has no desire to be with him again, and I believe that’s Annie’s Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar true, but it seems she still wants to exert control over him. Annie, please tell me if I am overreacting. I think exes should stay in our mem- ories, not be part of our future. — Insecure in Seaside Dear Seaside: In I accepted the situa- tion as best I could. Since then, we have all been together a couple of times, and Mara is so self-absorbed, it makes me uncomfortable. She never includes me in the conversation. A year ago, Mara called about getting together so Tony could see his godchild. I was going to be out of town that weekend, so Tony turned her down. But that same weekend, she somehow arranged some kind of drama and called Tony to come over and help her out. She knows how to manipulate and play the helpless female. Fortunately, nothing hap- pened because Tony did- n’t fall for it. The problem is, when Tony told me about that weekend, it made me wonder about Mara’s true motive. However, when- ever I mention to Tony that she might be too interested, he gets angry and defends her every many instances, being a godfather is a serious religious responsibility. If Tony isn’t interested in a relationship with his godchild, he should bow out and ask Mara to find someone else. But if he continues in this role, it will necessitate ongoing, regular contact with Mara. It doesn’t matter whether she is trying to exert control. It only mat- ters that you trust Tony. Dear Annie: For the past 10 years, my friend ‘‘Ted’’ has sent out an e- mail blast asking people to support a fundraising ‘‘walk’’ for a good cause. My husband and I have always given a donation, as we believe in the cause and also want to support a good friend. However, Ted has never once acknowledged our giving on his behalf. Over the years, our charitable giving has become more focused, and we no longer will be donating to Ted’s fundraiser. Should I have sent him a letter directly, telling him the primary reason was because he never said ‘‘thank you’’? It’s true, but it makes me feel petty. — Even Fundraisers Should Say Thank You Dear Even: The char- ity should have acknowl- edged your donation. As a friend, Ted also should have thanked you, espe- cially since you came through for him year after year. You are not obligated to volunteer the information about why you have dropped this particular charity, but if Ted should ask, it is OK to include the fact that your donations didn’t seem particularly appre- ciated. Dear Annie: ‘‘Tired of it All’’ said her hus- band developed erectile dysfunction and stopped wanting sex. Another reader said the reason her husband stopped wanting sex was because he was gay. Here is another one: My husband, a fit man of 55, experienced erec- tile dysfunction for years. Doctors were quick to prescribe pills to make everything better. Instead, we chose to find out why he was having problems. It turned out that his erectile dysfunc- tion led us to discover the tumor at the base of his spine. Most men simply would not know how to deal with such a sensitive sexual problem without compassion, guidance and understanding. — Working Through it Together Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.n et, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Free Swim Fridays at Corning pool CORNING – PremierWest Bank invites the public, particularly kids, to the Corning pool every Friday during the summer season for free swimming. PremierWest has agreed to fund all the costs of keeping the pool open 1-5 p.m. every Friday June 17 through Aug. 12. "We see it as an opportunity to help Laser procedure for bulging discs DEAR DR. GOTT: I’m a man in my 60s with two bulging cervi- cal discs. I tried physical therapy and a cervical steroid injection with no relief. The pain radiates from my shoulders down my left arm. The surgeon said I would need surgery to correct the prob- lem. I looked on the Internet, and there is laser done as an outpatient procedure. Have you heard of this with lasers to correct bulging-disc problems and to eliminate bone spurs? My surgeon said my procedure would include about three days in the hospital. DEAR READER: Bulging discs can Dr. Peter Gott occur anywhere in the spine; however, the cervical (neck) and lumbar (low back) areas are most commonly injured. A bulge occurs when the outer fibers of the disc stretch and weaken, allowing gelati- nous material to bulge outward. When this occurs and a pinched nerve compress- es against the spinal column, pain and debilitating symptoms occur. There are times, however, when an individual may be completely unaware of having a bulging disc if that bulge doesn’t press on surrounding tissue. To the best of my knowledge, laser spine surgery, often touted as noninvasive or minimally invasive, has not undergone controlled clinical trials. It is not, in fact, noninvasive, and few neurosurgeons con- sider it a viable alternative option to tradi- tional back surgery. Incisions are still nec- essary, but whereas traditional options use electrocautery devices or air drills, laser surgery simply uses a laser to do the cut- ting. There is no clear benefit of one over the other; however, the Mayo Clinic has stated that its facilities don’t use or rec- ommend laser spine surgery. My recommendation to you is to con- tinue to look for nonsurgical options. Get a second opinion from a neurosurgeon or ask for a referral to a pain specialist or clinic. Surgery of any kind is a major decision, especially when the spine and spinal cord are involved. You must con- sider outcomes that are not favorable, such as permanent nerve damage and paralysis. While not likely to occur if the operation is performed by a highly quali- fied, experienced surgeon, these are still possibilities. Based on your letter, you have tried only two therapies. There are several other things for you to try, such as non- steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, epidural injections, mas- sage, chiropractic manipulation and much, much more. Don’t agree to surgery until you have exhausted your other options. DEAR DR. GOTT: At my recent colonoscopy, I was some- what surprised when my doctor told me that eating popcorn and peanuts wasn’t a bad thing as long as it was in moderation and with plenty of fiber. My wife couldn’t believe it, either. I sometimes eat “salted in the shell” peanuts, shell and all, and have had no diverticulitis reoccurrences. What is your opinion on eating popcorn and peanuts as I some- times do? DEAR READER: There are two schools of thought on this. One and the oldest is that individuals with diverticulo- sis/divertiulitis (having pouches in the colon wall/infection of the pouches) avoid all foods with small seeds such as rasp- berries, strawberries, tomatoes, popcorn, corn and nuts. The reasoning behind this is that these foods may not break down completely before hitting the intestine and, thus, become lodged in the diverticu- la (pouches), which might lead to inflam- mation and infection. The second school of thought is that many of these foods are healthful and if carefully chewed, they can be a part of the diet. Moderation is key, of course, so lim- iting intake to a no more than a few times a week is important. To the best of my knowledge, neither school has proven to be better or worse than the other. I recommend that you fol- low your physician’s advice. Keep your intake in check and make sure that you chew thoroughly. Readers who are interested in learning more can order my Health Report “Divertic- ular Disease” by sending a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Dr. Peter Gott, P.O. Box 433, Lakeville, CT 06039-0433. Be sure to mention the title when writing or print an order form off my website’s direct link www.AskDrGottMD.com/order_form/pdf. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physician and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com. out families, kids, and the city of Corn- ing,” said Kyle Lauderdale, VP and branch manager for the Corning branch. On the first Friday of the season, June 17, PremierWest will be giving away free clip on coin bags to the first 50 chil- dren in line. For more information, call Laud- erdale at 824-4605. OH, Beautiful, For Spacious Skies …. A Tehama County Celebration of Independence Day Weekend, 2011 Advertising Reservations Deadline: Wednesday, June 22 Published with the full run of the Daily News on Friday, July 1 Plus 1,000 extra copies for local freestanding distribution! A compendium of events across the region honoring the birth of our nation and the freedoms we enjoy, which make us the greatest nation in the world. Fireworks Displays when and where, from Butte and Glenn Counties, Tehama and Shasta Counties Parades Public Events and Festivals Everything 4th of July happening July 1 through 4 in the North State, all in one publication. Full Page Size American Flag/Poster to Display In Your Window All Weekend! Winning Essays from the Daily News’ patriotic Essay Contest This year’s theme: “What Makes America Unique as a Nation?” Call your Daily News Advertising Representative TODAY! D NEWSAILY (530) 527-2151 RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY