Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/335216
JUNE 25 - JULY 1, 2014 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Carbon Dating I am a single 58-year-old woman with a one-year subscription to eHarmony. In the six months I've been on, only two men have contacted me. Of the dozen men I've reached out to, only one responded, and nothing came of it. I'm stumped as to why I'm getting such a sparse response. I am attractive, am very fit, have a career, and own a home. Is my online dating experience typical for women my age? Sad to think I'll face the next 20 to 25 years without a partner. And I am NOT just sitting at home waiting for a man to fall into my lap. I'm in a cycling club, a wine group, a music lovers group and a craft beer group. Yet none of it has produced a boyfriend. — Cobwebs Sure, dating sites promote themselves as a bonanza-in-waiting for people of all ages, but the truth is, online dating is heavily skewed toward younger people. But there is hope for you, and it comes from behavioral economics research by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky. It turns out that we decide the value of things not out of the blue but rather by comparing them with similar alternatives. In other words, you need an "anchor" to make yourself look more attractive to men, and no, I'm not suggesting you start accessorizing with the big iron thing from a ship. An anchor is a reference point for comparison. For example, after hearing about this concept on my radio show, a lumber company owner started stocking an expensive ceiling tile next to the one he sells a ton of, in order to make buyers feel they were getting a really good deal. Likewise, as a 58-year-old who takes care of herself, you'll look far more appealing in a neighborhood filled with 58-year-old reference points than 20-something ones. Like, for example, on a dating site specifically for singles over 50, such as OurTime. com. The same goes for activities. The best groups for you are those where you aren't the anchor making some 22-year-old of average attractiveness look hot. It may also help to acknowledge and even try to laugh about how hard dating is for women your age. Seeing this simply as an annoying fact of life after 50 may help you take it less personally. It could also lead you to a greater appreciation of later life's small victories, like when sex ends with a man rolling over and snoring (as opposed to being zipped into a bag by the coroner). WEEKLY HOROSCOPES ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, let your creative side take over this week. Your imagination is ready to run wild, and this burst of creative energy will have long-lasting positive effects. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, though you are known for being a tad stubborn, this week you are open to any and all suggestions. You may surprise a few people by being so open-minded. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, while you may have natural leadership abilities, most of the time you do not want to pull rank. This week you may need to step things up a bit. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, now is a good time to travel, even if it means just a quick jaunt. But if a big vacation is on the horizon, know that you will likely have a smooth trip ahead. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Your powers are magnetic this week, Leo. Others find you simply irresistible, which can bode well if you are looking for a romantic partner or want to step things up. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Virgo, a busy week at work will require lots of cooperation among you and your coworkers. If ever there was a time to summon your leadership abilities, now is the time. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, many things are in disarray and you may need some help getting back to efficient living. Download an app to help you track expenses or keep tabs on your responsibilities. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 You are bound to be the center of attention, Scorpio. Get over any shyness early on because you will be spending time with coworkers for most of the week. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 You will do some of your best work at home this week, Sagittarius. Spend ample time getting the house in order. A few days working from home could kickstart plans. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, quickly curb any feelings of boredom by exploring a new hobby. Try taking a new fitness or art class. You'll have chances to mingle, too. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Put the brakes on impulse buys, Aquarius. This week you may be tempted to spend more money than you have, and that will only lead to long-term financial concerns. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Pisces, it is time to rebrand yourself. This may start with a mini-makeover or more significant changes to your life and career. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Thirty thousand spiders, led by members of the British Tarantula Society, gathered in Coventry on May 18 for the annual BTS exhibition, with a Socotra Island blue baboon spider taking Best in Show for first-time entrant Mike Dawkins. According to news reports, judges ignore spiders' personalities and make their selections by objectifying the body -— seeking "shiny coats, correct proportions, an active demeanor and proper stance" (which means that "all eight legs should be upright and perfectly poised"). Veteran judge Ryan Hale said winning does not necessarily make a spider more valuable, but is likely to enhance the keeper's reputation in the tarantula-training community. [Mother Nature News, 5-23- 2014] Government in Action Susan Coppinger, 47, was promoted by the city of Boston in January to a job paying $38,800 in the Inspectional Services Department— even though a month earlier she had been arrested for bank robbery. In fact, police said it was her second robbery of the same Santander Bank in nearby Quincy. Apparently, the city's human resources office does not monitor mugshots on MassMostWanted. com, but in April, the city finally secured Coppinger's resignation. [WCVB-TV (Boston), 4-1-2014] For panicking drivers headed in an emergency to University Hospital in Tamarac, Florida, ready to turn left into the ER because of bleeding, shortness of breath, etc., the city still requires patiently waiting for the traffic light to turn green -— no matter what — and has a $158-per violation red-light camera perfectly aimed, according to a WPLG-TV investigation reported in March. The station noted that the traffic magistrate handling appeals serves at the pleasure of the city and so far has not relented on tickets involving even provable emergencies. [WPLG-TV (Miami), 3-2-2014] Alarmed that its internal rating system revealed that some employees actually perform better than others, the federal Consumer Financial Protection Bureau announced in May that it was scrapping the system. Agency director Richard Cordray expressed dismay that the system failed to reveal worker disparities that matched up on the basis of age, race, union status and longevity with the agency, and said that until they find a system that proves, for example, that union members work just as well (or badly) as non- members, all employees will be paid as if they were doing excellent work. [American Banker, 5-19-2014] Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard