Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/31273
Tuesday, May 10, 2011 – Daily News – 3B FEATURES Unemployment urge underlies umbrage Dear Annie: I married ‘‘Theo’’ three years ago. The marriage started out OK, but then I discovered he had a drug addiction. After a great deal of pushing from me, Theo finally got clean two years ago. The problem is, he has not held down a job since he moved in with me six years ago, while I have worked a full-time third shift to support my chil- dren and household. It’s not enough to make ends meet. Our utilities have been turned off, we Annie’s have had multiple vehicles repossessed, and we have been evicted more than once. We recently began sharing living space with my sister and her two kids, but lately, we’ve had difficulty paying our portion of the rent. I have screamed, begged, pleaded, cried and even cussed him out, telling him to get a job, to no avail. He uses the excuse that he doesn’t have a GED and can’t get a job that will pay him what he ‘‘deserves.’’ I don’t care if he takes a minimum-wage job as long as he contributes enough so we don’t keep losing our home. We have been through marriage counseling, and even our pastor told Theo to get a job. He tried, briefly, but was fired after two days because he insisted on telling his super- visor what to do. Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I am fed up. Am I wrong to lose patience? Theo did manage to get clean and start attending church. Maybe I need to give him more time. But, Annie, I can’t do this by myself. I have been considering a divorce, but it’s not what I want. What do I do next? — Frustrated Christian Dear Frustrated: More time isn’t going to help unless Theo addresses the underlying problem. We think he’s depressed and is deliberately sabotaging his job efforts. In fact, Theo’s drug use may have camouflaged depression if it was a form of self-medication. Ask him to discuss this with his doctor and pastor and get an appropriate, low-cost referral. Dear Annie: My six-month dental checkup is fast approaching, and I’m dreading it because it’s so painful — not the cleaning, the yakking hygienist. The woman is quite nice and gentle. I would love to get the cleaning done, but she talks with her hands. The dental tools become an extension of her hands, so as she talks about her family, she’s not working on my mouth. I really love my dentist and the staff. How do I get this lovely lady to simply clean my teeth and not talk so much? — Michigan Dear Michigan: You can sweetly ask the hygienist to please focus more on your teeth because your time is lim- ited. If that doesn’t work, you can register a complaint with the dentist. Or invest in a set of headphones. When you see the hygienist, stick them in your ears, close your eyes and say the music helps you relax. She’ll stop talking if she has no audience. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ‘‘Thrown for a Loop,’’ whose husband was seen having lunch with anoth- er woman, as well as all the responses to that letter. One day, my wife received a telephone call from a friend, informing her that I was at a restaurant with anoth- er woman. My wife replied, ‘‘Yes, he is having lunch with ’Lindsey,’’’ a young woman I was mentoring. Perhaps we appeared suspicious because we were laughing and having a good time. Does that portend an affair? I hope not, because during my 42-year professional career, I sometimes went to lunch with women colleagues. I never failed to telephone my wife in advance, telling her who I was lunching with. I greatly appreciate my wife’s trust, which has enriched my life and allowed me to enrich the lives of others. Our mutual trust strengthened the bonds of our marriage. Next year we will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. — Washington Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. 63-year old suffers from acne DEAR DR. GOTT: I am 63 and have been plagued by acne since my teenage years. I have, however, found that a way to greatly reduce this problem is by not drinking milk, although skim or 1 percent may be OK. I also try to avoid other foods such as dairy products that are high in fat. I love dairy, but I do try to avoid the fat. Dr. Peter Gott Thanks for your excellent column. DEAR READER: Acne, while extremely annoying, is rather common, especially during the teen years. It becomes less common as we age. The condition is caused by an oily sub- stance known as sebum that is pro- duced by the sebaceous glands of the skin. The substance clogs pores that in turn attract bacteria causing the pores to become inflamed. Some adults expe- rience a breakout from hypersensitivity or the overproduction of androgen (hormones released from the adrenal glands, the ovaries in women and the testes in men). Furthermore, some cos- metics can lead to acne. Some facial products such as cleansers and moistur- izers are prepared with an oil base that can block pores. Steroids, hormone- replacement therapy and other medica- tions can cause breakouts. So, as you can see, there are a great number of items that can exacerbate or cause problems with acne. Speak with your physician to determine whether any- thing you are eating or using could be a culprit. Adult skin tends to be dryer than that of teens. Therefore, common com- mercial over-the-counter products for teens are not likely the answer. To begin with, keep things simple. Wash your face twice a day for about a minute in warm water, avoiding longer Bristol Palin to star in reality series on Bio NEW YORK (AP) — The Bio Channel is giv- ing Bristol Palin a reali- ty series. The network said Monday that Palin will star in a 10-episode series. She is the daugh- ter of former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and a former contestant on ‘‘Dancing With the Stars.“ The new series will follow her move from Alaska to Los Angeles with her son, Tripp, to WE’RE HERE ALL YEAR. BECAUSE TAXES DON’T TAKE THE REST OF THE YEAR OFF. H&R BLOCK Corning, CA 96021 Phone: 530-824-7999 Tuesday and Thursday 9am - 12pm. Available at participating offices. ©2010 HRB Tax Group, Inc. Available at participating offices. 1315 Solano St work at a small charity. The single mom will live with actor brothers Kyle and Christopher Massey. The network says Kyle Massey is a fellow ‘‘Dancing’’ con- testant and good friend. Besides reality TV, the 20-year-old Palin has earned hundreds of thousands of dollars as a spokeswoman work- ing to prevent teen pregnancy. Her as-yet-untitled series is slated to air in K W I K K U T S Family Hair Salon $200 REGULAR HAIRCUT off with coupon Not good with other offers 1064 South Main St., Red Bluff • 529-3540 Reg. $13.95 Expires 5/31/11 late 2011. ——— Online: http://www.bio.com Today’s Burning Issue Anyone Can Service Swamp Coolers....Can’t They? Is it noisy? Do your doors swell from humidity? Does it leak on your roof? Have you ever had your cooler stop working in the middle of a heat wave? Residential and Commercial Evaporative coolers have been our business for over 25 years. Service, repairs, replacement and installations are handled professionally for reliable cool- ing during the hot days of summer. “You are nice. You came out right away. You solved the (cooler) problem. Your service is prompt, good, and pleasant.” Mrs. Hickle, Palo Cedro THE Chimney Professionals Chimney Sweeps 527 3331 Flue Season cleaning periods and hot water. Consid- er a cleanser such as Cetaphil or Aquanil. Soap up with your hands rather than with an abrasive washcloth that will further irritate your skin. If after several days the process is inef- fective, try an over-the-counter retinol product that will cleanse your pores. If the issue continues, ask your physician for a topical antibiotic such as oral clindamycin or tetracycline. You have apparently found a corre- lation between the fat content in dairy products and your acne. Perhaps your sebaceous glands work overtime when fortified with milk products. This was a good pickup on your part. Thank you for sharing the information. DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a 78-year- old male with a problem I hope you can assist with. My hands and legs cramp. None of the doctors I’ve seen have any answers for me, so I hope you can help. DEAR READER: Feet and hands can cramp for a number of reasons. You may have reduced levels of specif- ic nutrients such as calcium, magne- sium, potassium or vitamin D in your body. You may be dehydrated from working or exercising excessively without remembering to keep your fluid levels up. Then, you may have known (or unknown) kidney failure, hypothyroid, Parkinson’s or Hunting- ton’s disease, or multiple sclerosis. Some medications can include cramp- ing as an unwanted side effect. I recommend that you speak with your physician who can order some simple laboratory testing, review your medications, and get you back on track. Dr. Peter H. Gott is a retired physi- cian and the author of several books, including “Live Longer, Live Better,” “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Diet” and “Dr. Gott’s No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook,” which are available at most bookstores or online. His website is www.AskDrGottMD.com